Oy, this crunchy mothering board is hurting my brain

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I promise I’ll never cheat on the SDMB again, because after getting sucked into this “breastfeeding-friendly” group, I have developed a permanent scar due to constant facepalming.

Now this is a private group (sorry, you can’t witness the crazy first hand), and my good friend invited me to join, telling me I would like it because “they really like research and stuff like you do.” It turns out this means they like to take their foregone anti-scientific conclusions, cherry pick “studies” that support their view, and shout down dissent as being intolerant.

Turns out topics that are considered totally true and sane include:

[ul]
[li]Reiki[/li][li]Chi and energy meridians (and which ones will be disrupted if you pierce your clitoral hood)[/li][li]The need to consume your baby’s placenta after birth[/li][li]Sugar, dyes, preservatives, and especially HFCS are The Devil, and you shouldn’t even give your kid Tylenol for a fever because it has these things[/li][li]Breast milk cures everything, from ear infections to small pox[/li][li]Vaccines at best should be approached with great caution, and are unnecessary if you have good hygiene, nutrition, and you breastfeed[/li][li]“Chemicals” are bad[/li][li]It goes without saying that homeopathy is awesome[/li][/ul]

But I think the last straw is the general support for withholding medical care from newborns. Not just skipping the eye salve or something, but like refusing antibiotics for Group B strep during labor, or the final, final straw - unassisted childbirth followed by refusing to take the newborn to see a pediatrician.

I guess I always knew there were loons out there, but it’s really a different thing to see it up close and personal. And I’m really freaking annoyed that it’s so hard to find other people who are supportive of breastfeeding and natural childbirth, who maybe do question typical medical practices when they aren’t based on evidence, but who don’t just chuck the rationality baby out with the hidebound tradition bathwater.

Sorry, I’m just venting. But I knew you guys would understand.

2

This has me kinda worried about if I ever get around to spawning, myself. I would prefer a natural birth, and breastfeeding if I can. But I can’t abide the crunchy-granola “Natural” mothers who are anti-vax, anti-this, anti-that and pro-homeopathy bullshit.

I don’t want to have a detached, clinical birth - but medical advances have done a lot for survivability of what can be quite a traumatic function of the body, and to just toss all of those hundreds of years of learning out because your sister’s friend’s cousin says that vaccines are bad and doctors are satan’s handmaidens is just fucking ridiculous.

3

Glad you’re back!! Never go to another board again!

As long as you’re venting about turbo-breast-feeding ladies, I’ll throw in my own views on the topic…

I loved breastfeeding. I was so happy I was able to breastfeed my daughter, because there are a lot of women out there who just can’t do it.

What I didn’t love was the feeling that I was the worst mom in the world when I had to stop breastfeeding. I pretty much dried up after returning to work, and the amount of guilt I felt was staggering. I can’t blame any one person or organization for this, but I was amazed that I felt so awful.

I think maybe it started when my mom told me she blamed herself for the fact that I got juvenile diabetes as a kid. She said she was only able to breastfeed me for a couple of months, and that if she’d been able to do it longer, I would’ve had a better immune system. To that, I say “Pshaw!” But at the same time, all of the current info on breastfeeding says that breastmilk can help prevent things like diabetes. So did my mom “give” me diabetes just because she could only breastfeed a few months?

Either way, the guilt was crippling. For a week or so. Then my baby’s first two teeth came in, and man oh man, I’m glad those teeth are not currently wrapping themselves around my nipple!

4

You are looking at a mirror

It is great to see a doper step out into the world and discover that there are other views equally supported and equally defended. Wake Up Guys and Girls - this is a taste of your own medicine and as this one is distastful to you your stuff is equally distasteful to others.

5

Equally defended, yes. From what I know, most of this stuff is bullshit, so I wouldn’t say it’s equally supported. It can be educational but it’s almost calculated to drive Dopers insane.

6

One of those Crunies latched herself on to me at the newborns & mummy coffee group - she’d ask me how I handled nappies, breastfeeeding, bathing, whatevering and then gasp with horror at my reply - every single time. She never offered an alternative, just that gasp and a “Really!?” and a change of subject.

I wondered briefly if I was doing everything wrong, checked with my mum, the midwife, the Plunket Nurse and best mate (mother of two). I ended up deciding the crunchie mummy was a loon.

I felt much better.

And don’t worry about giving birth - most birthing experiences fall somewhere between wholy natural and wholly medical, you can pick what will suit you best and have a back up plan too.

7

There actually are a good contingent of rational people on the Dope who will discuss birth and breastfeeding issues. I read Henci Goer’s Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, and it really did make me question the typical hospital culture surrounding birth. But that didn’t mean I gave birth alone at home - I went to a freestanding birth center that jibed with my natural approach, but also had the same decision-to-incision time as being in the hospital if there was an emergency.

I’m a breastfeeding counselor, and I’ve moved from “formula is evil” (which I needed to believe to keep going with my first one until we got the hang of it) to realizing that lots of women can’t breastfeed - some can’t because they had breast surgery or some physiological issue, and some can’t because they don’t have the support and information they need (such as decent maternity leave, pro-pumping workplace, and knowledgeable people to help them), and they both are truly and equally unable to nurse. For real - I think the guilt needs to be transferred from individual moms to our society. And also for us to realize that formula has some risks, but sometimes it’s the best choice overall.

8

Think that’s bad? Someone once sent me a link to a message board where some idiot went on a walk in the woods with her kids, and decided to pick up a copperhead to teach them about “nature”. Naturally, the copperhead bit her.

Well, said idiot was pregnant, and when she went to the hospital, (only after her hand puffed up to twice its size) refused anti-venom, because it would “harm her baby”. Even though they told her that it would be the exact opposite. :smack:

Jesus Christ.

9

Are you kidding me? The difference is that some views (like ones usually seen around here) are supported by science. Others are supported by the crazy.

10

I guess that would make it mirrorverse-y.

11

They would not say your views are equally supported. Again a mirror, and how you view this group is exactly how they view this group.

12

LOL- I work at a hospital that delivered nearly 10,000 babies last year and I think I have seen every single permutation of possible parenting possibilities. The only one that really worries me is the religious “Baby-Wise” parenting guides. They have you ‘train the baby up’ so they will do stuff like sleep through the night at 6 weeks and whatnot. Fortunately that is out of favor right now.

There is already so much pressure on some groups of women to get pregnant and then micro-manage every minute of the baby’s day and every developmental leap. One of my coworkers is ‘teaching her baby to read’ at 6 months (by propping him in from of the TV to watch instructional videos). Life is tough for some moms.

When my DD was in 3rd, 4th and 5th grades, I had problems with a super competitive mom who had targeted my daughter as ‘the one to beat’. He son had to be the first, best, winningest, most popular, etc., kid in the school… at all costs. My daughter never was all those things, and I’m not sure why she was targeted. I mean, she was bright and friendly, but not enough to warrant all that unwanted competitive attention. I felt like I needed to get a restraining order in 3rd grade, but just had the kids placed in separate classes until middle school. This upset that mother greatly but solved all our problems.

13

Oh, the irony…

Okay, I couldn’t find the original thread, but I DID find the one where it was discussed. Here.

We seriously need a facepalm smiley

14

Yes the irony is pretty much the types of this board help reinforce the views of others.

Pretty much like any type of religion pushing, the harder you push the more they will resist you

15

So what happened to said Mom and baby? (Just how toxic is copperhead venom? Will it kill or just make you really really sick or what? Off to Google!)

16

You say you are supported by science, like it’s a trump card, like you are invoking the name of God.

You are not happy when others invoke their god(s), why should they accept yours?

17

This is why some of us use facts to support our arguments.

18

And as the OP points out they have their facts. The OP accuses them of cherry picking, I would assume many of them would accuse the SD’ers likewise

19

kanicbird, if you want to have a debate about whether naturalism is just another faith, could you please take it to the appropriate forum? I’m just trying to gripe with like-minded people here.

20

Unauthorized Cinnamon will leave you to your gripe with the like minded :slight_smile: