Ozzy Pissing Himself - WTF?

Here in Salon is an article by Joe DeRogatis that says (halfway down the second page of the 2-page article):

Really? What led to this problem? What else about the Osbournes is being kept from MTV cameras? (Not that I really care - I’ve only seen part of one show; but I have listened to my share of the Sabs and Blizzard of Oz in my day…)

What caused the problem? Probably the same thing that makes it damned near impossible for him to BLINK!!! Copious amounts of drugs, my friend. A very, very, very copious amount of drugs.

That, and some people just loose bladder control as they get over. But listen to him speak. Watch his body language. Notice, he NEVER BLINKS!!! I’m pretty sure they’re all caused by the same thing.

This sounds a little suspicious because, even back then, there were ways to compensate for loss of urinary control. The simplest being a Uro-sheath. It’s a rubber or vinyl condom that slips over the penis and is belted into place. The end is attached to a tube that goes to a bag worn on the leg so when the person urinates, it all goes neatly into the bag.

Today, there are adult under garments and diapers that can be easily worn under clothing.

If his aim is bad, I would think that he would have a urinal installed instead of just a toilet – MUCH cheaper than rubber coating a bathroom. Plus, he could just sit on the can instead of standing.

At his age, he might have periods of incontinence but they have many things for that these days.

I suspect the rumors are just garbage.

Sounds like a UL to me too.

They didn’t housebreak the dogs either.

Ozzy does have a urinal installed in his house:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/osbournes/tour/ozzyroom.jhtml
or
http://216.239.51.100/search?q=cache:PQJ8pUbKZ5wC:www.mtv.com/onair/osbournes/tour/ozzyroom.jhtml+ozzy+urinal+house&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

This is obviously an idiotic notion, for the reasons mentioned by **Omnivore **, above. I believe the original rumors started circulating after a MTV special on excessive rock and roll behavior where a member of Motley Crue mentioned that Ozzy pee’d his pants waiting for the bathroom on a plane to the Moscow Music Peace Festival circa 1989.

Please allow us to put this UL to rest !

Well, we all know Ozzy’s signature song, right?

I … AM … URINE … MAN!!!

It’s worth noting however that Jim DeRogatis is a highly regarded music journalist. His articles are circulated very widely, and his reputation would take a caning if the paragraph above was total bollocks. I kind of doubt Jim would take such a risk if there wasn’t at least a 50% degree of truth in the assertion.

There are plenty of things that one could do if one were incontinent, mainly use of drugs or mechanical means of absorbing/collecting urine. All of these, however, are contingent upon the incontent person’s willingness to use these remedies.

That said, does Ozzy Osbourne really strike anyone as someone who would wear an adult diaper or uro-sheath or would the rock-n-roll thing to do be urinating all over oneself then doing something to try to cover it up?

Btw, there is video footage of that particular flight to Moscow showing Ozzy with a massive stain on his pants that was either urine or the most unfortunately located (and conveniently urine-path following) spill in the history of mankind.