paedophilia Your thoughts, please.

I don’t know where to begin. First of all; My heartfelt: Thank you so much, to all of you.

I haven’t heard of him anymore. In his last e-mail - 2 days ago - he said he was very confused to be still alive.

I hope he is alive. And then again; I hope he isn’t.

I * do * wish pedophiles could live happily ever after - like I wish that for every human being. But that is not an option, is it?

** Psalex** Thank you for your concern about my mental health. Due to my bouts of depression I’m already seeing a therapist. Ofcourse I’ll talk to her about this.

My next step? I don’t know. I’ve send him the heartwrenching stories I’ve read here [no names - no source], but like I said; I haven’t heard from him. I’m not sure whether I should continue mailing him.

You guys are beautiful. Thank you.
gum.

With tears in my eyes, Gum- you have my heartfelt hope and confidence. You are already a wonderful mother. I understand you didn’t ask for this task, but I am sure you will convey the information and ideas you have received. Love to you for helping a stranger. There is not a more honorable or selfless act.

This thread is just too much. Pedophilia is disgusting and evil and sick. (the desires AND the behavoir both… )

F_X

Naturally. Someone who didn’t mind it wouldn’t consider it molestation.

I tend to agree; I believe emotional maturity has more to do with the experience one has had and learned to deal with, than with any measurable physical change.

But that also means you can’t say “This age group is mature, that age group is immature.” Statements like “While post-pubescent children may be as physically/sexually mature as any adult, they are not yet emotionally mature” are baseless if there’s no way to know who’s emotionally mature and who isn’t.

about the linked article:

I, too, found the blanket statements about being a “bridge to youth” and being not negative in the majority of cases to be overbroad.

The author is certainly overreaching his case, for one simple, airtight reason: most “gerontophilic” relationships aren’t even positive! On average, they’re neutral: some positive, some negative, mostly a neutral expression of lust.* A relationship with an age group difference would probably tend to skew even more toward the negative.

However, should we, as a society, not only resist the (nearly inaudible) call for a blanket acceptance of these relationships, but also a blanket condemnation? I say, YES.

I would think that even in our sexually repressed, adult-dominated society**, there have been examples of positive or neutral adult-child sexual relationships. No cite, as others as well as the link have pointed out, that data is mucho difficult to come by due to legal reasons. And, to paraphrase another poster has said, the “Victims” who didnt percieve it negatively are not likely to seek legal redress.

However, there are two problems that must be addressed before we even think about changing our legal and social attitude to this. One, we need to lose our remaining inhibitions about sexuality. If we do not teach children that sexuality is dirty, they would be more likely to expose a person taking advantage of them. Granted, at that point, due to social change, it would not be as bad a scar as it is now, but a violation of ethics and freedom will always be a violation.

Two, we need to nearly completely eliminate the advantages of age in our society. How we do this, I don’t know, but as the Supreme Court opinion re: pornography goes, I’ll know it when I see it. If we don’t have a cult of adulthood, and especially parenthood, we will not have children willing to accept things secretly with adults because they’re the parent/teacher/etc.

Would it be right to do both of these things? Who knows: that isn’t the point of the post. i’m just saying those are requirements. Once we reach that point, if we feel it is right to re-explore the age limits for sexual expression we would be right in doing so.

But now, as a society, it would be bad to allow such contact as too much potential for harm exists.

Oh, and one thing we must do, is stop condemning those who do not express their desires, but merely have a different sexual orientation than others.

[the following is to be taken in an evolutionary context, not in a moral context]

I believe that, like homosexuality, it arises due to selective pressures (like homosexuality, as a “genetic helper” and a population control issue, with the addition “bridge to youth” factor, with the caveat that it would be simplistic to call all sexual relationships positive).

In addition, there is the selective pressure to select one’s partner based on potential productivity: in the old old days, one usually dies before 35. Therefore, if our biological “age tuner” caused us to seek mainly those 25-35, they would only have 5 years on average productivity, despite their gender, due to death in general. But if it’s set to average 15-20, most object of desire would be healthy and with more years of productivity ahead of them.

And in certain situations, one would want to delay this, or push it up. When you want a healthier population, it would desireable to push back relationships due to health reasons. But when you want population increase, a younger onset is desired. So we probably have conflicting desires bred into us. Now, should we condemn those whose “age control” is set just a bit low for our tastes?

In addition, if assuming an actual, positive relationship, it may be better to have a relationship between a 17 and 10 year old than one between a 17 and 30 year old, as that 30 year old is likely 5 years from death. Whereas the 10 year old likely has 15 productive years in store. A negative relationship would not be as good, ON AVERAGE, as they would be just as likely to leave you, unless you had a large social power in the tribe, as they would be to internalize the situation and knuckle to your every desire. But a positive relationship could blossom into a full-fledged lifetime love.

*My personal experience bears this out: nearly every person who has expressed sexual desire for me as an adult, even if they LIKE me, did not do it BECAUSE they like me, but because they needed a sexual release. I classify this as neutral, as they would (probably) be happy to stop if I asked them to.

**Our society is much less repressed and adult-dominated than almost any other in history, but much more than is possible.

Children are great. Sex with children is abhorrent. Society’s strong aversion to sex with children, however, is fucked up. I don’t think there should be thirteen year old models on the covers of Vogue or pre-teen beauty contests. Wasn’t Juliet 13 or so in Shakespeare’s play? Bill Maher had an interesting take on pedophilia that I read in some GQ like magazine – society blasts the pedophile (as they should) but condones the sexualization of children in advertising and popular culture.

The article itself is not very balanced. For many kids, the experience is very traumatizing. Perhaps it was seen as a normal variant in some societies, especially when people died at a young age. But I see no value in a pedophile sexual relationship in our society, and find tarted up twelve year olds disturbing. I wonder what message people get from Sailor Moon or Jon-Benet Ramsey and shudder for society. The sexual act is so evil it can’t be discussed, but more subtle forms of pedophilia are also disturbing, although fairly commonplace.