Well? Who would win?
As well, the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad vs the Fellowship. Could Black Mamba kick Aragorn’s ass? How would the hobbits stand up against Cottonmouth?
Who is Pai Mei?
And, why would we care?
:dubious:
From Kill Bill. He is the master martial artist who once killed 60 monks in one go simply because one monk failed to return a nod. Master (and only pracitioner) of the Five-Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Defends himself, unarmed, against master Samurai swordsmen.
Pai Mei: Wah ha ha! [strokes beard] You do not give Pai Mei due honor. You shall die a peasant’s death!
Gandalf: Who in the Nine are you?
Pai Mei: I am a master martial artist, the ultyimate kung-fu master.
Gandalf: What’s “kung-fu”?
…
Short version: Gandalf becomes a ninja wizard.
Gandalf might not even bother with such a young punk as Pai Mei. He doesn’t beat up children.
But if they do engage, they’d probably just whack each other on the head with their respective sticks.
Do the vipers get any firearms? How about shotguns filled with rocksalt?
Sure, anything they want. They even get to conceal small firearms in the breakfast cereal box of your choice.
For a little side entertainment, we could pit some uruk-hai against the Crazy 88.
Pai Mei would win. Just like any noob wizard, he tanks when he should be casting nukes (in the halls of Moria). Pai Mei would just in range and wtfpwn Gandalf. There’s no way he can cast with a monk hitting him 3-4 times a round.
< slips in DVD >
< Watches Gandalf fight giant flaming Balrog while falling down shaft >
My guess is, if he actually decided to cut loose, Gandalf would annihilate Pai Mai, the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, and the rest of the Fellowship.
He’s got to hit him first. It’s hard to hit someone who’s standing on your sword.
The DAVS, able to be armed with guns, would kill most of the fellowship because they have ranged weapons. But before they got off a single shot, Legolas would drop 3 of them like 3rd period French.
Gandalf, without question. Even if Pai Mei somehow manages to kill Gandalf, if G’s job here on Earth isn’t done, Eru’ll just send him back better and badder than ever.
Gandalf being immortal, of course, could use the weapon of time on Pai Mei. Kill him with old age.
Kind of hard to stand on someone’s sword when he’s just used telekinesis ( or whatever you want to call it ) to stick you in place in mid air. Remember Gandalf vrs Saruman ?
Get real. A wizard can always beat a martial artist. (Sword-wielding barbarians are another matter.)
Please. All you have to do to kill off Pai Mei is to feed him some poisoned fish heads served by a treacherous one eyed blonde.
Ooh…good cite!
I also would like to cite the case of Avatar vs Blackwolf, showing that the humble physics of a gun can take out the highest level of magic.
Pai Mei wins, while cackling sarcastic insults during the fight to rub in Gandalf’s humiliating defeat.