Pansy-sounding voiceovers and other commercial complaints

Why do so many business people, men in particular, sound like total pansies when they talk in their radio commercials?

After listening to literally dozens of radio advertisements for local businesses, in which the business owner does the talking (instead of doing the right thing and hiring a professional radio voice artist), I came to the conclusion that most of the local businesses were owned by limp-wristed, effeminate butt-monkeys. Until one of those girly voices turned out to belong a man for whom I once worked. Having spoken with him in person many times, I knew for a fact that he didn’t really sound the way he did in the commercial. So I finally had to ask, “What’s up with that?”

I also asked a prominent local businessman why so many of his peers insist on talking on their own commercials when they sound so terrible. He said, “Ego. They like to hear themselves on the radio.” Good answer - it makes sense. One of the most pansy-sounding business owners in town also features his ugly face, larger than life, on billboards all over town. I was on a city bus and spotted one of these billboards. I overheard some teenaged boys laughing at it and suggesting changing the name of the business to “Ego Transmission”.

Here’s another thing I hate: every other commercial reminding me that, “We’re locally owned!” News flash: I don’t care!

How about businesses that think using 1950s rock & roll or Beach Boys style jingles is going to entice me to patronize them? Sorry, folks. The people you’re attracting with that music are going to be dead soon. Might be a good idea to start using some music that will attract potential customers who were born later than, say, 1960.

One last gripe: businesses that run the same exact commercial for three years straight, and pay to have it run six times during every Seattle Mariners broadcast. This is even worse when the worn out commercial consists of 60 seconds of asinine, poorly-executed Beach Boys clone music. You’re driving me away from your place of business, morons!

For the love of God, stop it!

Well, talent costs money. If they need to advertise to drum up business, chances are that they haven’t the money to hire someone with a low voice to wax poetic about the business and what not.

From a shallower point of view, however, I know what you’re saying.

Oh, I can’t wait to hear this one explained.


Before you get raked over the coals, would you you care to explain the phrases ‘pansy’ and ‘limp-wristed, effeminate butt-monkeys.’

Do you mean that for some reason the voices sound as if the men speaking are homosexual?

If yes, is that a bad thing?

If no, then why the use of provocative language?

“Pansy-sounding?” Rich, velvety, and a vibrant dark colour?

Mmmm… Barry White

This is the kind of unapologetic, opinionated, offensive rant that brings me back to the The Pit time and time again.

im new here, but i can tell i’m going to have a HELL of a time.

How did I manage to skip over that?

Hoo boy.

And while you’re at the explaining bit, can you tell me what a homosexual sounds like?

No, but every few days, someone posts a GQ asking why all gay men have the same accent. :rolleyes:

What? You mean they all have a tendency to drawl when bored, slur when excited, and say y’all along with four-syllable words? Fascinating

benthames, welcome to SMDB. Hope you enjoy.

Phase42 is new here too.

Homophobia is such a fascinating “warp” in human development. No one is more likely to express a hatred of homosexuals than a person who has doubts about her or his own sexual orientation:

(Causes of Homophobia)

That fear is the first thing I always think of when I read a homophobic attack that seems to come from out of nowhere, as did Phase42’s.

You don’t have to put up a front here, P42. Relax.

Unless, of course, you are a bigot. Whoa! Now that would be stoopid! [/hijack]

Advertisements are also annoying.

This whole rant puzzles me. The only radio ad I can think of done by the owner of the company is that Shane company guy. With the diamonds, you know. I think it’s a west coast thing, but I’m not sure. He doesn’t sound very ‘pansyish’ to me. More like two steps away from the grave, maybe, and semi-comatose.

And uh, it’s generally regarded as a positive thing to support local businesses, I’m guessing that’s why they mention it. You do know that, right? You may not care, but–NEWS FLASH! Some people do. Story at 8.

As if a skater punk has money to spend in those businesses anyway …

Was he annoyed that your question slowed you down while getting his fries?

I too am totally fogged by the OP, and never noticed that business owners doing their own commercial voice-overs sound gay.

Unless he’s referring to the fact that these guys tend to sound happy and/or excited when they’re doing these spots. After all, it’s another carpet store or whatever, that they’re opening. Their business is growing! They’re excited about that and make the mistake of letting that excitement creep into their voice delivery. Male culture is so repressed these days that if a guy exhibits any emotional excitement–other than anger or tough determination–someone’s sure to ask, “is he gay or what?” To be giddy with happiness, that’s so gay! :rolleyes:

It’s also fascinating that the OP believes that businesses should wish to exclude anyone over 43 years from being interested in their products. I suppose it depends on the product in question, but there are a great many people over 43 with plenty of disposable income… so I’d think twice about cutting off that segment of the market.

I am not surprised at this rather subtle flaw in the OP’s logic, considering the gaping holes already pointed out by many posters above.

What about the mattress guy? You know, the one with the catchline, “Your mattress is free-EEEEEEE!”

Hey, If you guys don’t mind it, I think I’m going to throw out an answer to the OP even though he seems to have crapped all over himself with his terminology and inferences.

I’ve done some sideline work as a DJ/announcer and learned quite early in my part-time career that lowering the register of your voice actually makes it sound more like your true voice at the other end of the broadcast. I’ve noticed that regardless of the mic quality, the distance of your lips from the mic, the position of your head, and the register of voice are BIG factors in the broadcast sound. (For you older folks, imagine the way Gary Owens from Laugh-in looked while speaking. His head was tilted in and his voice was purposely lowered)

I’ll conceed to the OP that somebody who “mics” incorrectly will not transmit the true open-air sound of their voice. The voice will be thinner and may sound squeaky. An unaware business owner would probably make those mistakes and the ad-man babysitting him wouldn’t bother to educate him.

So, Phase42 you actually made a correct read on the “sound of the voice thing” and yet still managed to look like an asshole in the process. I think you should get a 5 for technical and a -4 for style points.

I tend to associate owner-based commercials being more reminiscent of monotonous drudgery that inspires more self-conscious squirming witnessing their own pathetic personas than when watching an Ionesco theater-of-the-absurd play. Witness Carvel and Wendy’s commercials. <shudder>

I’d welcome a wilting lisp over a Kissingeresque deaf tone.

I think that often when people try to enunciate their words very carefully they do tend to sound unusual. As if they are putting on a posh accent, which may sound effeminate to the OP.

Secondly there seems to be in the OP, a mistaken belief that people in group 1 are necessarily also in group 2, and that people in group 2 are mostly also members of group 1.

Group 1: Men who sound effeminate, are soft, and foo-foo. I think all these states are to a large part choices made by the men in question. As such I think there is nothing wrong in having a negative opinion of such people. (Well nothing more wrong than having a negative opinion of people who have tattoos, anyway.)

Group 2: Men who are sexually attracted to other men, which is NOT a life choice. And holding a negative opinion of such people is as unhealthy as holding a negative opinion of people because they happen to have black skin.