Paralyzed with anxiety

[Gestalt]

@statsman1982

Sometimes, when I contrast my personality and the personalities of the statisticians I know, I think I got in the wrong field. I am not introverted or socially awkward, and am rarely uncomfortable in social situations. I know not 100% of statisticians are rigid like this, but every one I know that is successful is. But, I love the theory of statistics. Love it. I see the beauty in the proof of the central limit theorem, and in the various other asymptotic results that are so famous (weak and strong law of large numbers, etc.) My only regret is that I do not have the mathematical sophistication to truly “get under the hood” and really understand the probability theory that gives rise to statistics. If I had my life to do over again, I would absolutely get a math degree first.

statsman1982, I think anyone who says things like, “I see the beauty in the proof of the central limit theorem,” is absolutely justified in pursuing a PhD in statistics :). But seriously, it’s great that you are so passionate about a subject that many others find, well, dry; I think it is evidence that statistics might be your true calling.

And maybe the field needs people with your personality. I’m sure a lot of students would prefer to have an empathetic professor who seemed human, as opposed to a rigid statistics-machine.

[KinkiNipponTourist]

@statsman1982

Thanks, everyone, for stopping by. You may not believe me, but just the simple act of writing the OP helped, and hearing other people’s ideas helps immensely. I feel a little bad for using this forum this way, but if it matters to anyone here, just the fact that you’re willing to talk to me, when you don’t even know me, helps.

If it matters, just reading this entire thread helped me. I’m new here, and in my lurking days saw a lot of pitting and big ol’ fights–loads of fun to watch, but a bit intimidating. It was nice to see the support and good advice.

I have ADD and give in constantly to the siren call of Bubble Blaster, or if that’s not around, SDMB (heh). I’m going to go look at even sven’s link now.

So this thread helped more than one person. Please don’t feel bad about posting, ok?

@statsman1982

Sometimes, when I contrast my personality and the personalities of the statisticians I know, I think I got in the wrong field. (self-doubting ramble redacted) But, I love the theory of statistics. Love it. I see the beauty in the proof of the central limit theorem, and in the various other asymptotic results that are so famous (weak and strong law of large numbers, etc.)

I agree with Gestalt. You talk like everyone knows what these terms mean, yo. I love it! This is how I talk about my job. All the nerdiness comes out and I just don’t care.

Sounds like you’re doing better, and so am I, for having read this thread. Thanks!

[redtail23]

@statsman1982

I’ve heard that, and I’d like to try it. But–and I know this is very Junior High-ish–isn’t that really a female thing? I’m already a little nervous around women who aren’t my girlfriend (for very good reason), and I don’t want to be seen as that one Yoga guy who must be here because he’s trying to get some.

Dammit, I know people don’t think this way, but just knowing they might be thinking it bothers me.

Well, the guy that taught the class didn’t seem to think so. And none of the guys in class seemed to think it was girls-only. I’d say that there were more women than men, but not by a huge amount. The guys ranged from middle-aged pudgy geeks to skinny old dudes to hot young studs.

OTOH, I know some women taking classes that seem to be all female. Check out classes in your area and find one that’s got some guys in it. Or take your girlfriend!

One thing I really liked about the instructor was that he really pushed “don’t hurt yourself”. If there was a move you couldn’t do, he’d give you a different one. Everybody is different - there’ll be things that you can’t manage that everyone else is doing, and things that you can do that most people can’t.

I was really nervous because I’m very out of shape and have never been flexible. And I’m very self-conscious, especially about anything physical. I’ve been an uncoordinated klutz my whole life.

So I always pick a spot at the back. But what I have figured out is that everybody else is too busy in class to sit around gawking at me. Also, refrain from snickering when someone farts or burps, and they’ll do the same.

[Spice_Weasel]

statsman, you sound more hopeful and rational about your situation than you have in a long time. Recognizing that you aren’t the only one who finds your advisor intimidating is a good step. I really hope this medication change is a benefit for you. Keep on fighting the good fight! You’ll get there.

[statsman1982]

@Crowbar_of_Irony_3

This might be the lamest thing ever posted on any message board anywhere, but “it’s ok to be different”.

I know I’m probably wasting my time, because this comment (if I can even call it that) doesn’t make sense to me. What, specifically, is lame about the comment? The observation I made is how I feel. Whether it’s right or wrong is a separate issue.

The fact that none of the statisticians I know have a personality like mine is troubling to me. It makes me think that some personality traits are not conducive to some kinds of careers. For instance, I wouldn’t expect one of these guys to offer an in-depth critique of the language in Walt Whitman’s “Leaves of Grass” as is relates to sexual identity in late 19th century America (or something, I don’t know). It’s just not something I’d expect them to give a shit about.

Your other post was helpful. This one was not. Now I feel even more crazy because to me, that comment, per se, was not lame. If you are resentful that your advice to stop ruminating and take a deep breath didn’t cure my problems, I’m sorry. But drive-by stuff like this with no explanation doesn’t help me.

[Lakai]

@statsman1982

I know I’m probably wasting my time, because this comment (if I can even call it that) doesn’t make sense to me. What, specifically, is lame about the comment? The observation I made is how I feel. Whether it’s right or wrong is a separate issue.

Crowbar of Irony was calling his own post lame, not yours.

He was saying that his advice - that “it’s ok to be different” - is lame.

[statsman1982]

@Lakai

Crowbar of Irony was calling his own post lame, not yours.

He was saying that his advice - that “it’s ok to be different” - is lame.

Oh, I see now. Here’s how I interpreted it:

"This sentence by you, Statsman1982, may be the lamest thing ever posted on any message board anywhere, except for the phrase ‘it’s okay to be different.’ "

Putting “it’s okay to be different” in quotes threw me. Sorry, Crowbar!

[Crowbar_of_Irony_3]

@Lakai

Crowbar of Irony was calling his own post lame, not yours.

He was saying that his advice - that “it’s ok to be different” - is lame.

Yah. That’s what I mean. Sorry if I wasn’t clear.

[statsman1982]

Well, it looks like the cure may be worse than the disease. I’m now three pills into my mirtazapine (Remerol) 30 mg. regimen, and I feel terribly weak. I pretty much slept all weekend, and was tired nonetheless. I slept for twelve hours before gettiing up today, and I’m still tired. Almost drunk feeling. I called the psychiatrist and left a message for her. I hope she calls back soon. I’m not the type to just start monkeying around with medication until I know that’s what I need to do.