I suspect that I am never going to be paid the $1,000,000 dollars offered to me if I could survive over 39 days on the boards without being flamed.
Listen up, buddy…I’ve already been through that; it took quite a bit to convince me that Audrey does in fact exist. But now that I’ve gotten over my denial, I’m much better off for it 
My real name isn’t AudreyK… I confess…
It’s Audrey. 
K’s my last name initial.
I have reason to believe that YOU have a secret agenda in prying our suspicions from us, dropzone. You’re writing these down, aren’t you? You’ve got little files on all of us, don’t you? I knew it. You can’t fool me. I’m a sharp cookie. Didn’t you see my duck jokes?
Awww dropzone, I suspect that deep down, you’re a sweetheart.
::looks around cautiously::
I have a secret to tell you all.
::looks around some more::
Cecil Adams is re…
:gunshot:
DAMN YOU!! COUGH HACK cecil adams cough is…is…
dead
(Walks in, wearing an upside-down salad bowl on his head)
Them satellites can read your mind, I tell you! But I’m onto them…they’ll never know what I’m thinking…
I suspect Nekochan is here to ensnare all the Asian male dopers. That. Name. Too. Damn. Cute. ::faints::
Ok…<thinks thank heaven for private offices>…ready! But can you cope with falcon too?
It worked for me - but I had to go back to the front page, get there the “normal” way & once in today’s (25/8) go to the top & change 25 for a 24 & change the 471 for a 564…
hey I earned my techie-ness the hard way, bub!
& it is perfect for this thread. So - the thread was started by workers of the houston chronicle to draw people away from the chicago reader’s website…it’s a plot, it’s all a plot!
If it’s true that they’re out to get me, does that make me paranoid if I think they are?
And this guy… he’s talking about me, isn’t he…
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35946
eep.
I know that “all” of you <yeah, right> are actually the creation of the guy behind the mirror - That’s right - I’m on to you, buddy! I know I’m merely the subject of your twisted research. You want a thesis?? Well, thesis THIS!! You bet - I’m flashing you! And no, that’s not a tattoo or a birthmark. You think you’re smart?? YOU figure it out!!
And stop stealing my paperclips!!
Actually, they pay me by minute,
didn’t you know that?
I suspect the government of the United States does things its citizens believe only other, less honorable, governments do.
AHA! (not to be confused with aha) You ARE one of their minions!
[aside] I think that kid’s going to fit right in! [/aside]