It’s safe to say that we are all geeks here. After all, we we speand too much of our lives reading and contributing to an internet mesage board not to be geeks. And geeks are, by definition, guys. Unattractive guys. So you may understand why my suspicions have been aroused by all of the so-called “women” who post here. Here are a few that I suspect are Straight Dope plants to keep us coming back and clicking the vast array of products advertised at the top of the page.
Scotticher - She flirts with ME. Need I say more?
Techchick68 - Yeah, right; a beautiful, blonde geekette. Do these guys think we’re stupid enough to fall for that one?
Eve - A sophisticated and famous writer? Yeah, right. I wonder what they had to pay the real Eve Golden for the use of her name.
ANNIZ - This is the one that tipped me off to Cecil and Ed’s nefarious plot. A beautiful Swedish girl who gets drunk and giggles and writes in the most adorable accent and has dirty dreams about one of us? Uh-huh. I’m going to buy this one—NOT!
I don’t know Cecil and Ed’s reason for perpetrating this hoax. For that matter, I’m no longer sure either of them actually exists! For all we know this is a part of The Great International Straight Dope Conspiracy’s plans for world domination. What I do know is that I’m going to be pretty suspicious of anybody who calls himself a woman from now on.
but I’m female (& willing to submit myself for newbie chick inspection, which I missed somehow). I can prove it…
<flashback sequence - computer screen goes wobbly (damn mobiles!)>
Enters room, looks round, sees tons of greasy haired male nerds in dark, fairly unwashed t-shirts…nearly bolts for door…
Erm, hello? (Echoing silence, apart from one plastic squash cup that falls to the floor)
Is this <whispers> techies anonymous?</whispers>
The nerds stare like frightened rabbits. Finally, the alpha nerd nods his head.
Well, in that case…my name’s fiona and I like writing code and even (anguished sob) debugging it!
</flashback mode>
Anyway I suspect dropzone of everything for trying to make paranoid people post to his thread! They’re making a list, man!
I know I’m big. I know I’m a girl. I just can’t prove it.
No on-line pictures. No video of me giving birth (not that you’d want to see that). Just take my word for it. Or ask my husband. Not that that proves anything either, just look at M. Butterfly.
See what I mean? Just a little too perfect, if you know what I mean! That’s what tipped me off, this obvious attempt by the moderators (yeah, they’re in on it, too!) to get our geeky hormones goin’. Beautiful Swedish bikini model, indeed! Next there will be somebody dressed in a French maid outfit.
Yeah, AudreyK (if that’s your REAL name, and I have reason to believe it ISN’T!)you’re another one of them. You got myrr21 all worked up—this is probably the most attention he’s gotten since wetting himself in third grade—and how are you going to break it to him that you’re really a figment of UncleBeer’s imagination?
