THIS POST IS CLASSIFIED INFRARED – CLEARED FOR ALL CITIZENS
Ah, Paranoia. The darkly humorous RPG, where player fatalities of 100% were common – before you even finished with the adventure briefing! This was a wonderful game to try, where anything could go wrong, and usually did.
There is an announcement of a new version, Paranoia XP! Their plan is to update the game to include current technology problems, er, features.
Who wants to play Paranoia?
(Playing Paranoia is Fun. Citizens who have Fun become Happy. Happiness is Mandatory.)
Even if I DID want to accept, I wouldn’t announce it on a PUBLIC forum. How do you think THEY find out? THEY only can take from us what we give THEM. Why make THEIR mission any easier? IF I want to accept, I (and I recommend others) can respond using outmoded tech. Any computer that only displays capital letters should do.
Sorry, I regret that the clearance level of this thread has been changed to blue. If you are reading this and are not of blue clearance kindly report for execution.
The computer thanks you for your cooperation. The computer is your friend!
The only way that you could have known that in advance is by the use of an unregistered mutant power. Please report to the nearest Termination Center. Thank you for your cooperation.
2nd edition is good enough for me. After all, The Computer published it and Our Friend Computer wouldn’t release a faulty game, would it?
Scuba_Ben, we have had one successful (i.e. mission failure) game in Philly with myself GMing and Verrain, TruePisces, Cleophus, Thanos, and DocCathode as players. If we ever get around to having another game I’ll be sure to let you know.
Incidentally, we played Me & My Shadow, Mark IV from Acute Paranoia. They didn’t get past the scrubot.
Finally, a chance to drive a stake through the heart of the undead evil that is Paranoia: The Fifth Edition! DIE, EVIL UNDEAD CLONE, DIE!
** ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION **
There is no Paranoia: Fifth Edition. Knowledge about this nonexistent tome is treason. You have never seen the horrible art, or the hacked-up rules, or the gibbering nonsense that is not known as the Paranoia: Fifth Edition. Please report all sightings of this nonexistent tome to the nearest Termination Center. Have a nice daycycle.
** ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION **
…uh.
So, did I ever mention that I had written an adventure module for Paranoia? All set to have it published, too, but the publisher died before it could see print.
In any event, a non-jokey, straightforward summary of Paranoia can be found here and here.
But the in-jokes and lingo and attitude are a big part of the fun. Trying to talk about Paranoia without discussing treason or Friend Computer is like trying to talk about the SDMB without mentioning Cecil Adams.
I recommend the Tips For Traitors section. It’s filled with in-jokes, and jargon, but is aimed at people who’ve never played the game. Thanks to that site, my character would have been one of two survivors, and received a promotion, if only the scrubbot hadn’t destroyed the combat robot we were protecting.
I’m proud to say I was the first to yell “Commie Mutant Traitor!” and shoot one of the other players.
Note- The greatest difference between Paranoia and other RPGs is that characters have very short lives. At most, they’ll survive a few adventures. Much of the time, they’ll barely survive a few hours of play.
It’s also (to my mind at least) the only game worth buying even if you never end up playing it. Just reading the manual is a hoot, especially if you’re well-versed in RPGs and know a lot of the habits/behaviors Paranoia is satirizing.
Thanks for reminding me that my players all suck. Seriously, I was trying to convince them to play some beer-and-pretzel Paranoia, and the only person willing to try it is my husband.
Solo Paranoia just isn’t all that much fun.
No, they’re all like, “Give us more orcs and goblins. We only want fantasy. What is this ‘humor’ thing you’re talking about?”*
Excuse me. I’m bitter, and I have a D&D game to run tonight.
*I love D&D. Really, I love it enough that I spent the last two weeks writing a 20,000 word sample for Necromancer Games when they called about a synopsis I sent them. But my goramn players just won’t give Paranoia a try. I still plan to buy Paranoia XP.
Have you thought of contact Mongoose and seeing if they’re interested in it? I’m sure they’ll want you to convert it to the new rules (probably d20), but if you know the SRD, it shouldn’t be a problem once they have the rules ready.
And if you need someone to read it, I, in all my benevolence, volunteer.
After escaping from a slave ship, we banded together for survival. Soon, we had to battle orcs and goblins. When one of the elves fell in battle, the dwarven cleric rushed over to heal him. While Verig has the healing proficiency, he has no prior experience with other races. He listens to what is a normal pulse for an elf.
“By the Gods! His heart is so weakened, I don’t know if I can save him!”
Perhaps if you can try fantasy humor with Kobolds Ate My Baby.
