I usually avoid the Christmas catalogs completely–but kids still have a major wants list once they hit the elementary.
My kids have been taught from day one that they will not receive an inordinate amount of presents from me. I buy them each 2-3 things that they like, and that’s it. They get so much from the rest of the family–that it seems wasteful to pile on even more. They have learned to be grateful for what they get. If they aren’t, I have taken their gifts right back. This doesn’t have to happen very often before they get the idea.
Having my children learn the lesson of being grateful and not greedy is way more important to me than their immediate happiness.
When I take my children with me to the store, they know not to ask for anything. We aren’t there to shop for just anything–we have specific items to get, and that’s it. They still ask from time to time, and the answer is always a simple “no”.
I never, ever buy them something extra at the store when they are with me (I do however bring them goodies from time to time when I’ve been to the store without them).
As soon as you do this once, they are going to expect it to happen every time. When it doesn’t, then of course they are going to be upset about it. I cringe every time I see a parent who gives in to the child who is throwing a fit in the store so they don’t have to deal with the screaming and crying.
As with everything in parenting–consistency is the key. I have kids ages 9, 7, and 4–and I can honestly say that none of them have thrown a fit in the store since my son (the oldest) did when he was around 2.5. I decided right then and there that it wasn’t going to happen again.
I’m sure I come off sounding like a jerk of some sorts–but that is far from the truth. I have tons of fun shopping with my kids. We can have lots of fun because I don’t have to worry about them begging for everything they see. Christmas is a blast too, because they are genuinely thankful for the presents they get.
Each year we also sit down as a family and choose another family that we know that is less fortunate to give gifts to. Each year the amount of money we spend on each other has decreased–as we have enjoyed spending that money on our special family more and more. We give them a monetary gift, and the kids pick out or make their own gifts for any children involved.
This has been a very positive lesson for all of us, and we have all learned to be more giving and less greedy through the process. Last year my 7 year old offered to give up all of her own gifts for the other family, because she “had enough toys to last forever”. I told her that was unneccesary, of course, but I was so proud.
I’m far from the world’s greatest parent, but I do feel like this is an issue that I’ve had a lot of success with.
Good luck!