That is not an effective technique. Kids learn to go with what works, and if you concede to her wheedling, even if only verbally, what she’s learning is that if she wheedles enough Mummy will give in, if only to placate her. If you want to stop the wheedling, say no, give a reason she can understand, and then close the subject. She’ll abandon the wheedling once she finds it’s not getting her attention or results.
You don’t sound like a jerk, you sound like a good parent. It’s important to learn that you can’t have everything you want.
It seems to be normal for the age. Everything they see, it’s “I want that,” even if they don’t remember they wanted it 2 minutes later. Last year my niece was three, and her response to being asked what she wanted for Christmas was a sigh, a head tilt, and a wistful “Everything.” I think part of it is that my sil’s standard response to the steady stream of I want is “Oh, you want everything.”
Which, when you get right down to it, seems to be a pretty good way of handling it, at least for Sam. She doesn’t generally whine or fuss or keep hammering at it like some kids, just mentions it and then goes on.
Yep, that’s worked for me in the past. When they asked for something (from an advertisement on TV or in the mail, whatever), I always told my boys that I’d put it on their birthday/Christmas list, whichever was coming up soonest. (It helps that both of them were born in the summer. 
) The fun part is when impatience rears its ugly head:
“Oooh, shiny! Will you buy me X?”
“I’ll put it on your birthday list.”
[Whiny tone.]“But my birthday isn’t until June! I can’t wait 'til June!!”
“OK, then I’ll take it off your birthday list.”
:eek:
If you stick to your guns and never, ever buy them something that they whined for, but actually do pay attention to the requests and (on the specified ‘special day’) get them things they actually wanted, they very quickly learn how to get at least some of what they want, and you never have to hear that sound again.
Give in even once to try to stop the whine faster, and you’re f*cked. :smack:
Deleted
Throw the catalog away. If she asks about it just say that you don’t know where it went and get her interested in something else (maybe Santa needed it for his shopping). Never show her a catalog again, when she’s old enough to find one on her own she’s old enough to have one.
On a side note; never say you can’t afford something or they might grow up to think that the only reason to not buy something is because they can’t afford it. Say things like “We wouldn’t use that much and it takes up so much room”, or “You already have something that will do the same thing.”
Well, sure. That’s why I started the thread!
In other news, she asked for a something (I’ve already forgotten what) this morning and I said no and she put on her wheedle face and took a deep breath and I very calmly said, “No, I’ve given you my answer and I’m done talking about it,” and then I walked away. She literally squeaked once in surprise and that was the end of it! 
This is what I do. So instead of getting nonstop begging for this, that, and the other thing, I get, “Mommy, Mommy, can I have that?” I say, “We’ll put it on your wishlist.” They say, “YAY! It’s going on our wishlist!” and then quickly forget about it. It is pretty low-hassle. And like Unauthorized Cinnamon, I do put a lot of it on their Christmas lists, although I exercise editorial discretion, of course.
{Steeples fingers} Ex-cellent!
My parents did the catalog thing with us, back when some of the big department stores still had massive holiday catalogs (does anyone still do that?). I don’t see much harm in it. Sure, when we were younger I think we probably circled everything that looked remotely interesting. Although that makes the circling somewhat useless, it’s still fun to look at toys, isn’t it? Hell, I still like to look at grown-up toys, even if I’m not going to buy any for myself.
It was well understood that we weren’t going to get all (or necessarily any) of the toys we circled. It just helped my parents figure out what the sibs and I were interested in.
Again, it’s still fun to look and imagine. I wouldn’t take that way from the kid.
At age three, not only is “because I said so” a legitimate reason, it is perhaps the *only *legitimate reason. It’s certainly the only reason they need.
We’ve done it about 6 more times today. It’s frakkin’ wonderful. I didn’t realize how much I was encouraging the persistent whining until I made this my new mantra: “I’ve answered your question and I’m done talking about it.”
Woo-hoo!
I raised both of my kids in a similar manner.
I would upon occasion buy them something they saw at the store, but they were not allowed to throw a tantrum if they did not get it. Each of my kids threw exactly one tantrum. As soon as they started, I took them outside, and buckled them into their car seat where I ignored them until they stopped crying and carrying on. Then I asked them if they were ready to go back inside and act like a gentleman/lady when they said yes, back inside we went.
They never threw a second tantrum.
The only standing exception to the nothing but what is on the list was if they wanted a book. They always got any book they wanted.
Are you me?
All eight of The Kids ™ now have the same policy with the GrandKids. I think I must have done something right!