I recently found out that my nephew was offered $350 from his mom and $200 from his dad, (unbeknownst to the other), to dump his then current girlfriend.
He was 16 and in love for the first time. According to his parents, he was calling her 20 times a day and the cell phone bill was higher than the bribe. And that’s all, no drug use, no arrest record. Infact, the only issue they had with her was, she was going through a Goth phase. And from what I hear about his most recent girlfriend, he may be hoping for a bigger bribe. Her issues are a little more serious than a fondness for black clothes.
Personally, I would’ve just taken the cell phone away.
That story is absolutely ridiculous. How do not one, but TWO parents, independent of each other, BOTH decide that the best way to handle a ridiculous phone bill incurred by their teen is NOT to take the phone away, but to promise him hundreds of dollars if he stops?
Who cares about the girlfriend? The way the parents are handling the phone bill is a much bigger issue.
That said…wow. I’ve maintained a long distance relationship for almost a year, and my highest bill was way less than $200 (and that only because he was freaking out over his final project, and was calling more during the day). Granted we talked a lot online, but he knew to call me only at night, and I only ever called him using the landline, so my bills never got very high. I presume this guy is dating local girls, so there really is no reason to have a bill that high except plain carelessness.
His problem isn’t his girlfriends, his problem is using his cell too much.
But they’re MY lousy, moronic people, dammit.
Seriously, a large percent of my posts have been about my in-laws. This is just one set, (the other one is worse).
I’ll ignore your “fishy” comment because I’m baffled by it.
I agree - I would have taken the cell phone away. I don’t think a bribe is the way to go. Based on the 20 calls a day, I’d be a little concerned that he was obsessed with her over and above typical teenaged infatuation, but if you think he’s just holding out for more cash, he sounds like a manipulative punk (albeit a very enterprising manipulative punk).
Out of curiosity, have they talked to your nephew much about their dislike of this girlfriend before, or did this just come out of the blue?
These parents were, presumably, teens at one time themselves? I wonder what, based on their own experiences, made them believe for an instant that that plan would, not only not work, but not horribly explode in their faces?
My son had a girlfriend I didn’t much like - rather than going the bribe route (which in my opinion is kinda silly) I made him pay for the phone calls, and figured they’re teenagers - they’ll break up. Sure enough - they did. He was heartbroken for five minutes or so (although I’m sure he still thinks he hasn’t gotten over it) and he moved on. Now he isn’t dating - says it’s too expensive, he’d rather buy a car, and since he’s going into the Navy, why bother. Kid is smart.
I’m not sure I agree with the any teen bit, but I would worry if I were a parent of a teen with an undesirable SO, about that possibility.
Also the possibility that the next SO would be worse–in the hopes of a higher bribe.
If I had a teen with an excessively high cell phone bill, I might take away the cell phone, but I’d make the teen pay me for the phone bill. I might well keep the kid so busy with housework he wouldn’t have time to call the SO.
Yeah- they’re moronic. They’ve done nothing to fix the actual problem, which is his overuse of cell phone minutes (or text messages or whatever). People manage to date without running up huge cell phone bills- there are these things called landlines and email, just for starters. And people manage to run up large cell phone bills without an SO- presumably he’s also calling or texting his other friends.
And they’ve created a perverse incentive for him to date girls that they won’t approve of. Way to go :dubious:
I agree. That’s what I would have done as a teenager.
I dated a guy that I know my parents didn’t approve of. It had no bearing on my feelings for him. Then my friends didn’t approve of him, either. That didn’t change anything, either. Finally I didn’t approve of him, and it still took me too long to be free of him.
Since you asked if we would: Umm. No. Would never occur to me.
My brain seems to work more like Gus Gusterson’s. My first thought was that my (future) teen would probably use the money for some grand romantic gesture or inappropriately expensive gift.
I don’t feel like I know a whole lot of stuff, but I have learned that throwing money at a problem doesn’t usually fix it.
