When you are holding them facing you and they start to giggle - watch out - the next move is a head butt. You will see stars and quacking ducks worthy of Roger Rabbit, and the baby will giggle some more.
I’m not a babby-owner, but I have held a couple recently. The head/gravity thing is spot on.
I was holding my friend’s 3 month old while my friend was preparing dinner. Babby lifted head, peered around then SLAMMED her tiny forehead into my mouth because I was looking at her. I was afraid she’d dash her brains out on my teeth. No, she was fine. Then she did it again and copped me a stunner on the cheekbone a few minutes later.
My advice as a mother of 2 sons under the age of 4:
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Don’t scare yourself silly with the idea of how hard it will be. You really can do it, and you will surprise yourself with the feeling that it is not nearly as hard as many people make it out to be. You’ll love this new adventure, I promise.
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Realilze that you, and your little one are both new at this. This is especially relevant if you plan to breast feed. Some kids latch on immediately, some take a bit. Cut yourself some slack, especially in the first couple of days after you go home.
Your milk will take some time to come in–usually 3ish days. Don’t be surprised if you take a shower and suddenly milk starts shooting out in machine gun fashion. Go feed your baby, girl. When you do this, the little one may have trouble swallowing the deluge. Again remember, you are both new at this. Work at it and read the cues your little one is sending.
If you choose or are decide that formula is your best option do not let anyone tell you that formula is poison. You need to do the best for you and your family, if it is formula go with it. Don’t let anyone let you feel inferior for a choice that you make. People truly mean well, but they will never know your child or situation as intimately as you will.
- Don’t be absolute in any particular parenting method. Never say never. Clearly you want to read and understand what to expect. All parenting methods will tell you that their method is ths one true way. If you believe that all kids are different then you have to believe that there is no one size fits all parenting method. You will know what works and is good for your particular child. This sounds silly now, but you will understand after your bub gets here.
The biggest thing that I can say is that no matter what you believe, be it god, evolution or something in between-something turns us into parents the as soon as your baby gets here. You and your husband will be fantastic parents because you care. You will be amazed at the amount of time that you spend just looking at, loving and worring about that little one. Congrats!
Yeah, that’s a good point. There is going to be something that you find yourself doing as a parent that you swore you would never do. I don’t know what that thing will be for you, but it’s going to happen. This does not mean you are a failure. It means you are flexible, and a human being.
(Mine was eating at McDonald’s. Well, that’s one of dozens of mine. Ha.)
You baby, may or may not go through a finicky food stage(i’ve experienced both with mine) but always at least offer new foods as often as possible, it will pay off later on when they go through finicky teen food stages and beyond when they’re living on your dime at college and trying to stretch that dime into a dollar (oops sorry thats toddler, my third but they are all still my baby boys no matter the age) otoh I used to use frozen pear wedges for teething
I think I’m always surprised at just how irrational and weird toddlers can be. The crazy stuff they get hung up on.
My daughter has this thing about wanting to be the one who closes her younger brother’s door when it’s his naptime/bedtime. If she doesn’t get to close the door, or forgets to, and someone else does it, she gets seriously annoyed. She’ll trek halfway back across the house, open the door again, and close it.
My youngest boy hates to COUGH. He literally will sound like an old man snoring before he’ll finally give it up and produce one, half-hearted cough. We call him “Snarfy” - there’s nothing wrong with his lungs, he doesn’t have asthma, he just doesn’t like to cough.
Each kid has their own set of eccentricities. Your kid will do something equally weird and inexplicable.
Here’s one thing I had a hard time figuring out-I knew you were never ever ever supposed to leave babies unattended in the bath, but I wasn’t sure when they progressed from babies to ok to leave them alone in there. One day when my daughter was about five she said mom, I’m gonna need some privacy in here ok?
I wish someone had warned me that for the next few years I would barely be able to finish a thought without interruption, much less a TV show or a movie. I had no idea how often they would insist that I pay absolute and complete attention to them while they did something that was…kind of boring.
Also in retrospect I really should have made them continue their piano lessons.
This. A hundred times, this. Trusting your instincts is essential in dealing with all of the books and well-meaning advice, and all the things you’re “supposed” to do. You nod and agree and then do what YOU think is right. There’s a reason it tugs your heartstrings when your baby cries at night, they need their mama.
It’s impossible to “spoil” a baby by holding him/her too much, or letting him/her sleep with you. It’s infinitely easier to deal with nighttime feedings when your baby is right there next to you. And nothing is more comforting to a baby than his/her mama’s breast. That closeness with your newborn baby is so priceless, and so fleeting. He/she will grow right in front of your eyes, and it’s absolutely ok to absorb every little bit of time that you can. The newborn baby and mama bond is unlike anything you’ll ever experience, try to keep that in mind on fussy nights, or if/when you have struggles with feeding.
And don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially at first. Keep the lactation consultant’s number on speed dial, and your online mama’s groups too. It’s normal to struggle a bit getting used to this stuff, but you will get it and it will be worth the effort.
I’m pretty sure you’re kidding, unless you’re talking about older kids. Some people have the idea that little babies can manipulate you, which is silly. They can’t trick you or manipulate you, or do much of anything except let you know when they need you. And it’s just not possible to “spoil” a baby. So hold that baby all you want, and love him/her just as much as you can. Giving your baby attention is never a bad idea. It worries me that some people really believe otherwise.
Again, that mama bear instinct will guide you in these things. You’ll do great!
Is it? Depending on what you mean by “little baby”, I suppose. When the Ogreling was 4 months old, whenever he got a cough, he would inevitably gag and puke everything in his tummy up. This conditioned me rather quickly to come running with a plastic bucket and a wipe cloth whenever I heard him cough.
One day, we were all walking at a local nature preserve. My wife had the kid in a front-mounted baby pack. I’m walking in front. I hear him cough behind me. I instinctively look back, and he grins at me. From that point on, every few seconds, he would do this incredibly fakey cough to make me look back at him, and he’d grin like a little maniac when I did.
He was manipulating me. It was in an utterly harmless, charming, adorable way, but it was manipulation.
Oh yeah, if you child proof your house with drawer locks and such, know that they aren’t there so you can let your kid run free in the kitchen. They exist to give you time to instruct the child not to do that.
I knew a couple that were PO’d at the child locks they bought cause jr. figured out how to open them. They just watched and watched and eventually he opened 'em. Jr. also discovered he could hang from the door knob child proof device and pull it off then open the door. I suggested that there was a different way to go about it and they both just kinda looked at me like deer in headlights. Jr. is still around btw.
4ths on the sickness thing, practice air kissing on the cheek and don’t eat anything after touching a child unless you’ve washed your hands. May seem cold, and you can avoid colds that way. Worked for me. I still got sick, but didn’t get every cold my kids got.
They’ll repeat anything and everything you say. Kind of like parrots, the more emotion you put into a word, the more likely they’ll pick it up. So when you smash your finger in the door and yell F@$&!, that’s the word they’ll repeat.
Also, kids are tougher than they seem. One of mine fell off a swing in such a way that I thought for sure they were going to be paralyzed from the neck down. As I approached to see if they were okay, boing! Up they went and no problem.
Oh yeah, kids will fall down and then “learn” how to react from you. If you run up all freaked out and ask, “Are you okay? Are you okay?” then the kid is more likely to bawl. If you say, “boom-bang” the kid is likely to learn that phrase and get up and keep going. I’ve seen this on the play ground when a kid wipes out and then sits up and looks around for the parent and only starts to cry after locking eyes with the parent. I’m sure the kid will grow up and be fine either way, it’s just what ritual you want to keep going through, all the time, every time. Obviously if there’s a bone poking out, it’s okay to freak out, but most times it’s a scrape. They’re also very low to the ground, so don’t have that far to fall.
As mentioned above, never do anything you only want the kid to do once. They don’t get that at all.
Also, don’t play the just one more time game, cause there’s always “just one more.” I suggest you say, okay this will be the “last” time, cause there’s only one “last” time. Like the kid wants to go down the slide, one more time, say no, go down one last time.
Oh yeah, Routine. Kids love a routine… and naps. I used to think that parents that left an event cause they’re kid needed a nap, I’m like, “what? just stay for 30 minutes longer.” And now I know that a late nap means a messed up sleep schedule which means a cranky kid later. It could take literally a day to get the kid back on track. Now I’m like, “Oh yeah, let me get the door for you, yes, don’t miss the nap, go, go go!”
No matter what you do the kid will probably turn out all right.
Yes to the holy-cow-they-grow-so-fast thing. When my firstborn was wee, the best way to get him to settle into sleep was to rock him on my shoulder while the kitchen fan was at full blast. When he was 9 weeks old, I suddenly noticed that the hand I used to support his legs (the other was on his back, natch) was lower: he had grown enough in 9 weeks that my hands were in a different position. I was astonished and started to picture him growing and growing and getting bigger and older and moving on and going to college and oh my God I miss him so much!
And I started to cry because I missed my 9-week-old college student.
Now he’s 14 and taller than I am and yowzers, is he ever a teenager. So that’s another thing to keep in mind: enjoy every minute of time you can before your little one learns the fine art of snark.
Yes, I’m talking about older kids. I have 3 boys (8, 5, 2) and it’s amazing to me at how early they learn to play on your emotions to get what they want.
My dad lost my sister under the couch, too.
Kids between 12-18 months want to die. They’re fast, they can mostly walk, they have pretty good coordination, and they have NO SENSE OF DANGER. They also don’t respond much to ‘no’. They’ll find the electrical outlets/busy streets/broken glass/dangerous rusty metal/uncaged lions and try to play with them.
I didn’t realise I would spend six months of each baby’s life following six inches behind, taking things away from them. Our house is reasonably childproof but to go anywhere else is to walk right behind, all the time.
This makes it nearly impossible to discipline with logical reasoning. Doper parents tend to be the whole “you just explain it to the kid and he’ll see the sense in it” - but there is no sense in a toddlers head - “If you touch that, you’ll get hurt” is not a logical “if then” statement (or not always) - sometimes its a challenge for an experiment.
A friend’s kid broke three windows as a toddler. The first was an accident. He got in trouble - but not much - it was an accident, the thing was explained to him…the second was a science experiment “will the rock break the window again” - the third was because “breaking the window was better than breaking my brother.” This is little kid logic.
When you lose the baby the first place to check is under the couch. Got it. 
Between this and the pool thing mentioned previously I’m starting to understand why John Travolta’s parents made him live in that plastic bubble! (I’ve never seen the movie. I’m assuming it is a documentary of some sort, right?)
- Breast feeding can be harder than it looks. The worst part of the baby for my wife was trying to get her to breastfeed. The was a LOT of pressure to breast feed and it tore my wife up that it was so hard for her. We gave up after four months and she was so much happier. Our daughter is five and healthy now so don’t feel guilty if you can’t get yours to latch.
- Don’t be afraid to walk away. This was a surprising piece of advice from our birthing class. If you are at a stage where you literally want to throw your baby through the wall (and it happens) it might be the best thing for both of you to just put the baby down, make sure the surroundings are safe and then head to the next room to compose yourself. The baby won’t die by crying too much or covering itself in even more poop. But, you could do something in that moment (like shaking it) that you could regret forever.
- Burping is hard. I couldn’t believe how hard I had to smack my kid’s back before they would burp. If they cry, you’re hitting too hard, but you have to really put some force into it to get that gas up sometimes.
- Support their head. I had a few surprises where I let my kid’s head go and it quickly rolled away to hit itself on something hard. Try to keep that sucker supported.
Best of luck!
It takes a couple of weeks for the umbilical cord scab to fall off. In the meantime, you have to clean it. Watching my SIL bathe her son and dig around it with a Q-tip made me queasy - seeing the smelly yellow gunk on the Q-tip nearly made me faint, it was so disgusting. But it has to be done…by my husband, if/when I have kids, but has to be done nonetheless!
Burping: You want the baby Superman position. Put the kid on his belly longways over your arm (so that his legs are dangling down on either side of your arm). Pat on back while jiggling vigorously. Burp ensues.
I also had good success with putting the baby over my shoulder so that his belly was right about where my shoulder joint is, and squeeeeezing him in a big hug. Burp ensues. Also sometimes other material ensues. Have a burp cloth on your shoulder for this one.