Paris Hilton's Shameful Movie...

Cafe Society
1

I’m talking about THE CAT IN THE HAT, what did you all think I meant?

G

Seriously, I knew it was gonna be bad (TCitH, I mean- not her other movie, which I haven’t seen), I just wanted to see how bad- I HAD NO IDEA!

THE HORROR! THE HORROR!

2

Paris Hilton is shamefull overall…why did you think the movie (either one) would be different?

3

Ugh, what a gyp. I came in here with a hankering to start slinging mud at the conservative “oh I’m offended” OP and I come away empty handed.

Thanks for nothing pal.

/slings mud at you anyways

4

One look at the ads on TV and I could tell that The Cat In The Hat sucked. The putridity radiated out of the screen, striking my very soul and instilling in me the sure and certain knowledge that this was a bad, bad movie.

5

It seems to me that Ron Howard had an entirely different set of Dr. Suess books than I did. Either that or he has some kind of grudge against him, and wishes to taint the good Doctor’s name.

What next? Let’s see if we can ruin the muppetts?

6

I didn’t realize she was in this!

Oh, well. Next up: The Sneetches!

7

Paris Hilton is in TCITH?

8

I would mash him with a train,
I would crash him in a plane

I would crush that awful cat
run him over,
and squash him flat,
for not being funny,
and wasting my money

what do you think of that?

9

yeah, she has a 5 second cameo in a dance club scene- I had to watch the final credits to find who she was

10

I hope it gets deducted from her 15 minutes…

11

So, where can I see that other video without signing up for 12 tons of spam or giving up my credit card info, I have been getting all kinds of Paris spam but I DO NOT conduct business with spammers.

unclviny

12

Hang on… I DO NOT REMEMBER ANY “DANCE CLUB SCENE” IN THE CAT IN THE HAT BOOK!!!

I hate this movie with a vengance, and I haven’t even seen it.

13

Haven’t seen the movie and don’t intend to, but it pains me to see TCitH hawking fast food in that stupid Burger King commercial.

Mike Myers is a whore.

14

It’s worse. The damn cat in the hat is on the US Postal Service postmarks this week! All our wedding invitations went out and got postmarked with a damn cat in the frickin hat!

And the damn movie was number one last weekend.

When did I start living in a world where sheer marketing could make turds like this into number one box office successes?

And it’s not just one movie. Did you see Justin Timberlake on SNL last week? He can’t sing. He’s mediocre when he’s at his best. His backup vocalists have to be mixed up so loud you can’t hear him. He can’t even dance - he just stands there and poses.

Another hypermarketed turd.

15

Ron Howard has nothing to do with The Cat In The Hat, dude. He directed The Grinch movie about three years ago, and that’s the extent of it.

16

Take heart. At least Gigli was a box-office bomb.

17

Hell, I could live with the fast food commercials, those have been done for a while now, but the cleaning products?!

WTF? Who is going to buy swiffers, Mr. Clean, and other assorted cleaning products because of TCITH? Bastards.