'cuz it made me laugh, and gawd knows the world could use a little laughter these days. OK, so it’s not Mark Twain or James Thurber, but it made me and that’s a hard thing to do these days.
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
I feel your pain…no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Ugly People,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because
some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely, Native Americans
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every iPhone User
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore