Ok so I’ve worked with this asswipe for 10 years…he’s passive aggressive…rearranges my files, talks about me and everyone else behind their back…doesn’t do shit and gets paid well. I’ve tried approaching him… can’t talk to him…he just gets pissed and pulls his passive aggressive bullshit…the boss turns a blind eye….this dickhead messes up MY work when he does this shit and nothing I say or do has helped. It’s only getting worse….so aside from quitting (I don’t want to do that) what do I do? I thought about starting my own retaliatory passive aggressive campaign against him. Any ideas on how do get under someone’s craw? I don’t want to hurt anybody or get fired…any fun pranks I can pull that open this fucker’ eyes? I am open to suggestions.
I haven’t come up with much as I am not usually Passive aggressive…I get along everyone else…I’m not the vengeful type. But this time…he’s gone too far… the only thing I’ve done so far is rearrange some of the pages in his address book.
:rolleyes:
All sit-com type situations can and should be resolved in about 45 seconds. Imagine Oliver saying “yeah I broke the fucking lamp, my bad”, life would be much better for all. The point is forget the hairbrained schemes and haul the asshole into an office with your boss and straighten the shit out.
Think about it: if you get caught fucking with your co-worker, what exactly is going to be your defense? “He started it!”? You’re risking a lot to gain little, if anything.
If you want to change the situation, you’re going to have to pester your boss to help you. Otherwise, just suck it up and avoid the asshole as much as possible.
I’ve tried that countless times…taking the high road…as i said…10 YEARS! the boss has always turned a blind eye…always…i will not get fired for pulling pranks…i know it’s childish but it certainly does make me feel better to get even…and this prick will not go to the boss…this i know…
I know i’m stooping to his level, but dammit after 10 fucking years i’m tired of “ignoring” it.
Oh, well, in that case you should tackle him and superglue his penis to this leg.
His leg! His! Leave my leg out of it!
Heh.
I’d say 10 years is a long time for someone to slowly get on your nerves. If going to the boss won’t work how are “pranks” going to fix things? If you have no course of action, then try the 'ol threat. Tell him the next time he rearranges your files you’re going to break his fingers. Of course there are legal and employment consequences, so you’re back to square one, putting up with him.
Everybody has a co-working that drives them fucking insane.
I’m crying, Giraffe. Crying!! That’s the best line–intentional or otherwise–I’ve heard all day! 
Anyhoo, TCGM, you could try hiding a fish in a rarely used drawer. But that would be bad for everyone.
Or, if you have access to any of his computer files, you could screw with some sensitive documents and replace innocent phrases with some like Giraffe has given us. 
I Still have tears in my eyes over here, btw.
Does nobody have a fucking HR department in this world anymore? HR, HR, HR. If no HR, tell your boss about what is becoming a “hostile work environment”, and tell him your next step is to the state Dept. of Labor. THen follow through if they ignore it.
Christ, it’s so rudimentary…
Sam
You could set him on fire…
/Milton
Seriously, take this advice.
Sorry if that came out sounding stronger or angrier than I really am. Lately I’ve heard and read too much of these types of stories(including my big$$ wanker-ass brother!), and I’m just so frustrated. The advice I gave above should pretty much be the standard steps taken to alleviate uncomfortable/unfair/improper or hostile situations at work.
The hardest part is actually following through or following the process all the way to a resolution-be it quitting and suing, or mediating and making things work in the office.
Sam
Don’t know how relevant this is to your situation, but here goes.
If this twit is getting on to your computer, can you password protect your computer so he can’t get in there?
If he is screwing around with shared files, have you tired making copies of everything you work on at the end of the day so at the very least you have clean place to start the next day?
You might also write protect your files so he can only do a “save as” as opposed to saving over your work.
You might also do the “screw around with my files and I’ll break your fingers thing,” then get a BIG RED notebook and announce: “Next time there are issues with these files, I am documenting the occurrence for future reference.”
I was getting static about how I spend my work day, so I started keeping a word document open at all times; I document every fucking thing I do all day long. While this was a PITA at first, I am used to it now and I have a big red notebook of documentation of what I do every single day.
Good luck with the co-worker.
No I think you said it just how it needed to be said. The point is to actually remedy the problem, not to fantasize out pissing on his desk.
In addition to going to HR if you have such, there are other steps you can take to minimize the buttmunch’s impact on your work. Passwords on your computer should protect your computer files, and locks on your file cabinets should protect paper files (or your copy of shared files) so you can always find what you need.
I know you’ve been to the boss repeatedly, but I’d go one more time and explain that this is a hostile work environment, and allowing such things to continue would lay him open for a big, fat lawsuit, which nobody wants to happen. Even if people aren’t willing to protect their employees, they’re generally willing to protect their own wallets.
I don’t like to say this, but I’m afraid the cost is essentially hopeless unless you can convince your boss of how fucked up this person is.
So put the jerk aside and tell us more about your boss. That’s the person you need to focus on.
And yes of course you can start your own retaliatory campaign if it makes you feel better. I don’t think it would make ME feel any better to do so, I’d feel all the worse for being brought down to this asshole’s level. But that’s just me.
As evidence of my own experience in these matters, I offer these 2 earlier threads of mine, posted nearly 2 years apart about the same coworker.
I wrote this thread within a month of her being on the job (11/02). All the Signs Were There, but no one acted.
Should I work toward having my hospital coworker fired? (BTW, the answer was YES but it’s doing no good) was written earlier this year.
Since the latter thread MY albatross has done even more egregious things that have gotten my boss in some hot water with senior management --accidentally sending a list of more than a thousand names, addresses, phone numbers, SSNs, and birth dates out, un-encrypted, and sent to the wrong email address. This is the kind of privacy violation (we were told by HR) is grounds for immediate termination on the first offense. STILL, she continues.
What sorts of things is he doing that you consider him passive aggressive. I don’t disbelieve, just curious so as to perhaps see what you might be able to do.
Find out what he loves.
Let him know you know.
Or:
Find out where he lives.
Let him know you know.