passive-aggressive a**hole at work

Some things you can do that will make you feel good but won’t get you in trouble:
[li]Mispronounce his name slightly. If his name is “Andy,” call him “Amdy”; if his name is “Steve,” call him “Stevie”, etc. Draw out one of the syllables of his name: “Hey, Biiiiiiiiil-yum!”[/li][li]Give him a nickname, like “Cap’n” and use it frequently. Say things like, “Hey, Cap’n, how’s the sailin’?”[/li][li]Choose a nonsense phrase, like “ain’t that a duck’s echo?”, and slip it into every conversation you have with him.[/li][/ul]
Some coworkers altered a guy’s startup file so that every time he re-booted, his CD drawer popped out. It drove the guy crazy. I don’t know how to do this, but I’m sure someone around here does.

I have that particular executable stored on a floppy. When you click on the icon, it says you’re getting free drink holder. Then when you click for your “gift,” your CD drawer pops out.

I could copy that there floppy…

laina reminded me of a good trick. Whenever you look at him, look at his eyebrows, or slightly above his head. Drives stupid people crazy, they can’t quite put their finger on how it is that you’re being disrespectful.

Change random autocorrect entries in Word on his computer? There isn’t much that comes close to the subtle evilness of having Word change periods to commas, or maybe something more direct, like changing his first name to “schlong face”. Be creative.

Or you could suck it up and deal with it like a man.

Throw poo at him. It works in the primate house at the zoo, and it’s a real attention getter!

Screwing with his spellcheck is good. Add “hte” to his dictionary. If there are common misspellings to the people or companies you deal with, include them too.

And lets not forget rule #1 in the Prankster’s Handbook…
Sign him up for stuff… spam, incontinence newletters, BDSM clubs. Whatever is free.