Pat Robertson: Sharon's stroke is God's punishment.

[Lord_Ashtar]

@CynicalGabe

Fuck, what did we do to deserve that?

Well. there is the matter of the chronic masterbation…

[The_Scrivener]

Too bad we can’t arrange a real-life Celebrity Deathmatch between Robertson and Ahmadinejad. Should God (or Allah) arrange it, I’d be the first to sing His praises.

[Revtim]

It is bad that I’m so entertained by Robertson, who is likely mentally ill, saying this whacky shit every couple weeks? It’s a little like laughing at a drugged-up Ozzy Osbourne chasing Pomeranians around his mansion, funny but sad.

[Citizen_Bob]

@Revtim

It is bad that I’m so entertained by Robertson, who is likely mentally ill, saying this whacky shit every couple weeks? It’s a little like laughing at a drugged-up Ozzy Osbourne chasing Pomeranians around his mansion, funny but sad.

YES! That’s exactly what I was thinking… He has the mentality of Osbourne and the physical presentation abilities of George W. Bush… I’m surprized he didn’t make a call-to-action to bomb Syria again… or claim that it was Communists…

He’s too shit-stupid to hate… it’s more like a dark, throw-up-sick sense of pity that I feel for him.

I AM angry that people still take his shit-stupid word as gospel… I hope that changes at least a little after today.

[Syntropy]

The Yahoo news story has a bit more detail that I found absolutely hilarious.

Robertson spokeswoman Angell Watts said of critics who challenged his remarks, “What they’re basically saying is, `How dare Pat Robertson quote the Bible?’”

“This is what the word of God says,” Watts said. “This is nothing new to the Christian community.”

THE STATE OF ISRAEL IS NOT A CHRISTIAN STATE YOU STUPID COW!!! And Joel was talking about Babylon, IIRC.

[John_Mace]

So, is this all tied up in the fundamentalist belief that the Second Coming can’t happen until after the Jews return to Israel (all of it) and the Temple is rebuilt? Or is there some other prophesy that needs to be upheld to prevent the sun from dancing in the sky, or whetever it is that happens when prohecies are tinkered with?

[KarlGauss]

@Jackmannii

God apparently started the ball rolling with an atrial septal defect in Sharon’s heart, knowing that many years later Sharon would “divide God’s land” and reap the consequences.

It’s entirely obvious if you’re a loon.

[anal compulsive nitpick]
I think the lesion in Sharon’s heart is more likely to be a patent foramen ovale (PFO). One of his docs was quoted as saying that about 15 percent of the population have the same problem as Sharon - a figure consistent with the approximate prevalence of PFO.
[/nitpickl]

Of course, this means that even while we’re still embryos, The Almighty has already identified some fifteen percent of us as borderline cases, who may one day need a punitive “stroke from God”.

[Larry_Mudd]

@Maureen

THE STATE OF ISRAEL IS NOT A CHRISTIAN STATE YOU STUPID COW!!!

It’s destined to be, according to Christian Zionism, with Robertson subscribes to.

[ol][]Jews return to Jerusalem[]Muslim temples destroyed[]Reconstruction on the Temple Mount[]Appearance of the anti-Christ[]Jews see the light and embrace Jesus as their saviour[]Profit! Err, I mean, Rapture![/ol]

[gooftroopag]

If I don’t die in some freak accident and actually make it to 77 I’ll be thrilled!

As someone* once said:

Better to be silent and thought a fool, than open your mouth and remove all doubt.

• I did a search online and the quote is attributed to Einstein, Mark Twain, and Lincoln - please don’t flame me for not knowing who really said it.

[NDP]

@Baldwin

I can’t even get upset about Pat anymore; poor old psychotic cunt. He’s like the crazy people who stand around yelling on Peachtree Street (except that for some reason he’s got a tv show).

…and the ear of the Republican Party.

@John Mace

So, is this all tied up in the fundamentalist belief that the Second Coming can’t happen until after the Jews return to Israel (all of it) and the Temple is rebuilt? Or is there some other prophesy that needs to be upheld to prevent the sun from dancing in the sky, or whetever it is that happens when prophecies are tinkered with?

It’s pretty much the former. By giving the Palestinians Gaza, Sharon prevented (or at least delayed) Armageddon from happening since for that event to occur, the territory of the nation of Israel must consist of what it was during bibical times.

[marymargaret]

@CynicalGabe

Fuck, what did we do to deserve that?

Celebrity Death Pool.

[Captain_Amazing]

@NDP

It’s pretty much the former. By giving the Palestinians Gaza, Sharon prevented (or at least delayed) Armageddon from happening since for that event to occur, the territory of the nation of Israel must consist of what it was during bibical times.

The Israelites of biblical times didn’t own the Gaza Strip, though. The Phillistines did.

[asterion]

Here’s the two quotes I’m seeing on the Fox News website.

Iran President: I Hope Sharon Dies
Robertson: Stroke Was God’s Wrath

[Sequent]

You guys can laugh but this shit’s for real. I realized just today: I am being punished by God. We’ll see how funny you think it is when you’re buring in the lake of fire!

[Squink]

I wonder if this’ll hurt Robertson’s chances of developing a Christian theme park on the shore of the Sea of Galilee?

[Good_Egg]

What a sick man. I doubt any of his “followers” will realize it. I’ve known some, they will defend their leaders no matter what. Sad.

[Canadjun]

@Merijeek

So, what nastiness were the derned coal miners being punished for?

I’d just like to know so I can avoid it myself, of course.

-Joe

Ask Fred (warning - PDF).

[CynicalGabe]

@asterion

Here’s the two quotes I’m seeing on the Fox News website.

Iran President: I Hope Sharon Dies
Robertson: Stroke Was God’s Wrath

I was just thinking today how America would be a theocracy in the mold of Iran if Robertson had his way. They just seem more and more to be of the same mold.

Can anyone say “separated at birth?”

[Revtim]

@Canadjun

Ask Fred (warning - PDF).

“fag-infested West Virginia”? I had no idea WV was a hotbed of homosexuality.

[Terrifel]

@KarlGauss

[anal compulsive nitpick]
I think the lesion in Sharon’s heart is more likely to be a patent foramen ovale (PFO). One of his docs was quoted as saying that about 15 percent of the population have the same problem as Sharon - a figure consistent with the approximate prevalence of PFO.
[/nitpickl]

Of course, this means that even while we’re still embryos, The Almighty has already identified some fifteen percent of us as borderline cases, who may one day need a punitive “stroke from God”.

Well, fuckola. I’ve got me one of those optional circulatory extras. And here I’ve been wallowing in sin all this time, without ever realizing that the Almighty had left His warning fingerprint of judgement on my cardiac muscle.

Fortunately, it seems that nothing I’ve done so far has incensed Him enough to trigger my detonator. I guess I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing and hope for the best. Just to be safe, though, I should probably try to avoid turning the administration of Israeli-occupied territories over to Palestinian authorities.