Paying tribute to the robot-chick from that shitcom "Small Wonder"

Cafe Society
1

I was just watching my childhood pass before my eyes in the thread Worst TV Shows of All Time.

One of the shows landing there was that syndicated piece of work “Small Wonder.” And man, that got me remembering: when I was 11, I knew where I’d be every damn Saturday night at 7:30 p.m.-- parked in front of the TV to share a half-hour with the Lawson family.

You don’t have to admit you watched it, but I know you did.

Guys: if you’re my age (late-20s, early 30s), I also know why you watched it. And it sure as hell wasn’t for the laughs. I remember, even at that age, thinking this could be the lamest show. Evar.

So it wasn’t the writing that drew me in. But rather I-- and dare I say ‘we all’-- watched this show because this TV household had one thing ours didn’t: a cute girl, our age, completely programmable, in a fire-engine red uniform, living in the damn closet. She was a sexbot for our generation before any of us even knew what sex was.

So, many years have passed since I even gave a thought to this candy-coated crap nugget of 1980s television. Until I came across it in the other thread. So curiosity got the better of me and I did a little Googling on the show.

We knew her as V.I.C.K.I. Apparently her real name is Tiffany Brissette. (And remember that stupid fat kid who played her “brother?” Jerry Supiran.)

Anyway, I half expected to see that Tiffany Brissette’s starred in a string of soft-core lesbian porn films ala Dana Plato. But on the contrary, she’s left showbiz, got a psych degree, and is a Christian counselor in San Diego. Eat your heart out, Tom Cruise.

But none of this really matters. What really prompted me to start this thread was this fan site.

Very thorough, although the sitemaster may be a bit too dedicated to this Brisette chick. Li’l oogy.

What grabbed my attention, though, is the comments-or-questions-for-Tiffany section at the bottom of the page. Apparently she has quite the fan-base amongst teenage college boys in India.

Some of my favs:

[ul]I wish you were still on TV. Everybody loves you. You are so
beautitful. I Ýhave a mean nephew. I have a very nice neice named Courtney.
Love,
Mary Gambert.
[/ul]

[ul]Hello Babydoll(vicki). how are you our sweet little robot?

I am a resident in Bombay(India)

Vicki, I am watching Small Wonder on the star tv network since 1996. Wow what a sitcom. … The bottomline is that you are a born star that shine in the eyes of the small wonder fans. I am the greatest small wonder fan myself. I have a made firend ship with an imaginary friend called Vicki the robot. I really worship here with my whole heart. She lives in my imaginations as my guide in life and my tormenter in my deeds. Vicki ,you are that cute.

This is something personal. Vicki your eyes are too beautiful. And what about your smile. Its like the most beautiful thing god has ever made and that is the pure innocent smile of a child. Your looks are hypnotising and your serious look are really enchanting.

I am typing this messages with your imaginations in my memory bank and your image sweet image in the computer screen. I have always imagined you as a long lost friend but never felt you so close to my conscience. The fact is “I never miss you in my thoughts but whenever I think of you I really miss you alot.” …[/ul]

[ul]I was wondering if you would like to get together and discuss the evils of typecasting. I’m a damn good looking 22 year old man with a chest of steel and a face that kills. I am also in the entertainment industry, well the music industry to be exact. So why don’t you e-mail me at hourman 1001 and mabey we can get it on you robitic minx.[/ul]

[ul]I think you could have been the next Kelly Martin in talent.[/ul]

[ul]Happy Birthday to a very pretty woman. That’s you, Tiffany. You’re so beautiful in so many ways, & so are your hands & knees. … To me, Tiffany, you’re always my #1 true wonderful surprise. I really want to love you for who you really are…If you & I were to be together, I would ask for your hand in marriage. Blow out your candles, Tiffany.[/ul]
Oy vey. Some of these can’t be real.

2

That fan site is scary.

I was 12, I think. Watched the show every week. I found it funny. Hey, I was 12

3

I’m 32, so I fit right into the age bracket.

I remember wanting VICKI and Harriet in a threeway.

What exactly a threeay was, I couldn’t tell you.

But, dammit, I wanted it, anyway.

4

I thought the mom on that show was pretty hot.

Marc

5

I watched it, but only because I had four channels.

In my childhood, I knew when I was wathcing crap…yet I had no viewing alternative.

6

I don’t think I ever had those feelings for Vicki. Like watsonwil, I watched Small Wonder because at that time of day there was nothing else to watch. What was I gonna do? Read?

–Cliffy

7

I dressed up as her for Halloween one year, in one of those awful 80’s vinyl costumes with a mask. Really and truly.

The year before that I think I was a My Little Pony, same sort of terribly awful storebought costume. My mom would have made me cool costumes, but I didn’t want her to!

8

Can we at least pretend she’s councelling the stars of a string of soft-core lesbian porn films?

C’mon…work with me here.

9

I saw a lot of episodes because it was either the favorite show, or one of the favorite shows, of the little girl I babysat for at that time.

I’ve never really understood why it’s so hated. I didn’t think it was terrific, just lightweight and forgettable, but so are a lot of shows aimed at elementary-school kids. Why is it so often singled out as the Manos of sitcoms?

10

Simple. The Dad on the show was a total doofus. But he was supposed to be a bright and intelligent geeky science type. The son was an annoying little prick. But the girl/robot was actually quite talented.

Every so often she had to break out of her monotone robot voice and play a real person, and she often surprised me how good at acting she actually was, much better than her costars, and I thought she was wasted having to speak in that robot voice all the time.

I was about 13 when it was on, I think, so I never really thought of her as anything but a little girl.

11

Those fan letters are about the creepiest things ever. Jesus, she was little kid; it is kind of icky. I am sure some psychological type can make some observation on the type of person that idolizes a pre-teen robot character. Reminds me of my friend’s obsession with the Invisible Woman.

I can tell you minute plot details of that show now and I have not seen it probably over 15 years (wow, I feel old). I think “Mr. Belvedere” came on after it? I forget. I mostly watched “Small Wonder” 'cause I did not have cable (and since someone esle said it I am sure is that was the case with a fair number of viewers). Vicki’s robot voice irked me; it grated on my brain. Made me hate Edie McClurg and that character she plays in every show or movie she is in. I hate hate hated Harriet and her perfectly cute bangs (and those pigtails!). Thinking about it I am absolutely sure that my antipathy to redheads(but odd attraction to? lucky for my boyfriend) is stemmed directly from my feelings of her character.

Want to find out if a person really knows the 80’s or is a poser? Ask if they can sing the theme song from the show. For bonus points ask them if they remember “Out of This World” and and have them identify the voice of the father.

12

She’s a smaaaaaaaaal wonder…

erm…that’s all I remember

13

I also watched it because we didn’t have cable. (Mr. Belvedere too.) All I can do of the Small Wonder themesong is “she’s a smaaaaal wonder!”, but upon thinking about it, I can sing pretty much the whole Mr. Belvedere theme song.

14

I couldn’t do that, but I CAN tell you that little Evie grew up to bare her breasts in the movie Teenage Bonnie & Klepto Clyde

15

“Small Wonder” Theme song:
She’s a smaaaall wonder,
Pretty and bright with soft curls.
She’s a small wonder,
A girl unlike other girls.
She’s a miracle, and I grant you
She’ll enchant you with her sight
She’s a small wonder [something something about a beating heart]
She’s fantastic, made of plastic,
Microchips here and there.
She’s a small wonder,
brings love and laughter everywhere.
Tra-la-la Lala Lalalala

And the voice of the father, Troy, from “Out of This World” was Burt Reynolds. The theme for that was a parody of “If You Like to Swing on a Star.”

And I will restate that I think those love notes to are uber-weird. I could go on for pages about, say, Monica Belucci, or sticking with 80’s t.v. shows, Tracy Gold (“Growing Pains” I don’t know first name that came to mind). But a 12 year old robot on a pretty bad, at least cheesy, show in the 80s? I think they need to find those people and put a bracelet on their ankle. Especially the imaginary friend guy.

16

Wait! Wait!

When I think of Small Wonder, I’m seeing a LITTLE girl, maybe 8 or 9, in a little-girl pinafore dress. Is this about an equally bad show about a robot girl titled Small Wonder that’s different from the one I remember?

17

Same one. The pinafore girl was a robot. Pretty big plot point. You must try to be disassociating from the awfulness. I understand. I am convinced I will be 80 and forget my children’s names but start singing that theme song. My brother and I will randomly break out singing it.

18

I’m just sayin’, though…even if I were straight I can’t see myself finding pinafore girl as an object of nascent lust. There’s just something very wrong about that…

19

I agree. There were worse/better (mostly simillar) sitcoms in that era that I watched. Maybe I’m not thinking of the time it was aired. Hell I used to watch “Crusader Rabbit” when I was young enough to appreciate It!
I also liked (with a grain of salt) “Gilligan’s Island”

::::ducking and runing’::::

20

I agree. There were worse/better (mostly simillar) sitcoms in that era that I watched. Maybe I’m not thinking of the time it was aired. Hell I used to watch “Crusader Rabbit” when I was young enough to appreciate It!
I also liked (with a grain of salt) “Gilligan’s Island”

::::ducking and runing’::::