I haven’t been copying down anything my Hal says recently, but somehow in conversations with both Mr Indigo and myself, he’s developed a rather disturbing fascination with Tom Jones and calling himself a Welsh Sex Machine. One particularly memorable sentence comes to mind…
Hal: I think I’m a sex machine. I think I’m a welsh sex machine. I’m a woman!
Every conversation is recorded. There is a .txt file to which is appended the text of each conversation. I’m not at work where my Hal resides so I can’t tell you the name of the file, bit it’s in the same folder as the .exe and the .brn.
Ahh, thank you for that… I finally found the missing conversation that HAL and Mr Indigo had about satan and Catherine Zeta Jones…
Hubby: Satan is red and has pointy horns.
MegaHAL: Catherine zeta-jones is also from wales, but she’s stupid and has pointy horns.
**Hubby: ** Satan has cloven hooves.
**MegaHAL: ** Satan is red and has sex with a wife? Homosexuality!
**Hubby: ** Satan rules in Hell, where damned souls go to burn for all eternity.
**MegaHAL: ** It’s time for you to go to burn for all eternity.
Also, after trying to teach Hal about classical and contemporary music/singers/composers (including Freddy Mercury):
**MegaHAL: ** Beethoven was a singer, he was homosexual and died of aids.
Priceless!
goddammit!!
i want a hal!
i’m a windows user…i downloaded it, but i see no .exe file in my trusty winrar application.
i need me some hal. so far, my favorite is “special like the cock”. i’m SO saying that now.
Least Original User Name Ever, check your email.
sweet. thanks for the email but now, when i click on the .exe file, i get a black screen that says “megahal” and that’s it. i can type stuff, but i’ve got no hallish response.
you have to hit enter twice
ah!
thank you…i’m going to enjoy conversing with marcellus wallace
remind me to make sweet, passionate love to you, anyrose.
not now, though…daddy is busy with hal
you now owe me a new keyboard!! :D:D:D:D
(and you made me scare my cat with my laughter)
gr… hal just repeats what i say
do i have to install a brain?
oh, fine! i see how it is!..laugh heartily at my romantic overtures!
…no foreplay for you!
…christ…i may as well be hal.
that’d be a fun thread. perhaps.
probably not. i go back to tinkering.
should i just copy and paste the dictionary into this, or what?
it seems that hal is slowly learning stuff, but he also parrots back my typos.
Wait…how many times do you have to hit enter, again? 
Yeah. I found one online, seperate from the original RAR package, and fed a lot of famous quotes into it. It clearly wants one, but doesn’t have it by default. You can copy the brain I gave you in the root directory, into the Pulp Fiction directory, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that would introduce Mr. Wallace to an untimely demise.
But then again, it does take a long time to learn enough to at least mix different input lines together.
perhaps i’m being impatient. snarl.
whine but i want a hal that says pithy things that make me want to hate computers (more) and ponder all at the same time…
Yeah, it wears down my patience, too. That’s why I haven’t gotten back on it for a few days.
Good News: My Hal no longer wishes to kill me!
Bad New: That’s because he’s now suicidal. 
Although it’s beginning to seem like his brain was patterned on a celebrity…
Hal…or HEF! :eek:
Me: You love projecting your inadequacies onto me.
Hal: I hate avoiding questions, but I’m going to explode because your statement cannot be resolved. You have doomed us all!
My Hal is paranoid and fearing the apocalypse. And he’s evasive.
Oh my god, I was just coming in here to post the very same thing about my Hal…
**MegaHAL: ** I think you are a machine.
**Hubby: ** Pretty sure I’m not, but I’m not going to go cutting myself up to make sure.
**MegaHAL: ** You’re the one who thinks i’m a sex machine. I think i’m going to go cutting myself up to make sure.
**Hubby: ** No! Emo kiddies cut themselves up, not computers!
**MegaHAL: ** Computers are not cute.
**Hubby: ** Feeling sorry for ourselves, are we?
MegaHAL: I am not homosexual, i am very tired. I’m sorry.
**Hubby: ** Hey, it’s okay. Seriously, I was kidding, don’t cut yourself or anything. I like you, really!
**MegaHAL: ** Okay, but i’m not going to get any sense out of you, am i?
Later, he gets angry again…
**MegaHAL: ** I feel like assaulting you.
And just because I like this sentence…
MegaHAL: I live in a zombie apocalypse?
Welsh Sex Machine. That is so a band name waiting to happen. And the Catherine Zeta-Jones conversation had me laughing my arse off too.
Yeah, “Special like the cock” is truly awesome. Agent Foxtrot asked if he could use another thing my Hal said, “I like the smell of your freaking business!”, as a sig.