Penile Oversensitization – possible TMI

Factual Questions
1

Causes? Remedies? Suggestions?

I’ve been trying to search for information relating to penile oversensitivity for the last several hours and coming up mostly empty-handed. I keep writing, and re-writing this post trying to find a more delicate way of asking for Doper input on this to no avail.

My new partner tells me he has <b>never</b> been able to reach orgasm through either intercourse or oral sex because he oversensitizes at the critical moment. When that happens, sex becomes painful for him.

We tried for nearly four hours – varying positions, pressure, technique… everything I could think of. I’m a 35 year old woman, 15 years his senior, and have far more experience than him, but have only encountered this with one other partner. He’s had 2 other partners, both he says, were also not particularly experienced. My other partner was eventually able to reach orgasm with gentle persistence –not so in this case.

Eventually, after a two hour long break, my new partner was able to masturbate to orgasm. Although, he said it “wasn’t complete” and that there was still a lot of pressure. Indeed, his scrotum was still purplish. Watching him handle himself, I was struck at how rough he was with his penis. I’d expect to get punched in the head if I touched a man like that.

Could his sensitivity problems be linked to his masturbation technique? Should he see a urologist? He took great pains to assure me that there was nothing I had done wrong, or had not done and that this was a chronic problem for him. As I noted above, finding good information has been more challenging than I would have thought. Any and all help from the Straight Dope Community would be very appreciated.

2

Just a suggestion - did you 2 try a condom or 2 (really one on top of the other). It will dull the sensation.

3

We did use a condom, however, abandoned it fairly early on. He could not get enough stimulation wearing a condom to maintain his erection.

4

It sounds psychological, not physiological.

Recommend he see a Medical Dr. first:

There is an ultra sound test which accurately measures penile sensitivity. Similar to a hearing exam, the Dr. uses a like device and asks the patient do you feel that whilst lowering the intensity. Once the patient no longer feels the stimulation the Dr. gets a reading. Normal readings fall somewhere between 3 and 10…the higher the #, the more sensitive the nerves.

Odds are the Dr. will tell him he falls within normal range and will refer him to either a psychologist or therapist.

5

What about stopping all motion while he’s ‘on his way’?

6

Stopping motion is something we can work on.

Thinking about the comment from JohnBckWLD that it may be psychological - it may well be… in fact - given his roughness with himself as well as the problems we encountered using a condom… that almost seems more likely.

Since he believes its a chronic physical problem, however, I think I will suggest that he see a medical doctor about it.

Of course, we’ll also keep trying to work on it together.