The Karpman Drama Triangle is an interpersonal dynamic system that is characteristic of abusive families and other abusive social structures.
The link goes into more detail, but the basic explanation is this:
There are 3 roles: persecutor, rescuer and victim. Any person who engages in drama triangle dynamics will usually start with one of these roles, but will switch constantly between the roles. And the primary goal of the triangle is to keep the drama going. Because the other primary goal of the triangle is to avoid responsibility and change.
Drama triangles seek to perpetuate themselves. People enmeshed in the drama triangle trap are constantly testing those around them to see if they can drag others into their trap.
People who are doing this are trained in their families. So if you haven’t been trained in it, you may see things happening that confuse you, because they are seeking out dysfunctional situations. Because that’s what they were trained on, and they don’t see their way out of the trap, or even that they are in a trap.
This explains certain of the trends that you see, that you may not understand.
For instance the “nice guys” The ones that complain that women seek out abusive men, and they are left being the friend who hears about how bad the current boyfriend is.
In this case, all of the people involved in this are stuck in drama triangles. The “nice guy” is seeking out women to rescue. The women he is interested in are going to be victims that he can rescue. But they are looking for the “bad boys” because they want to “fix them” with the “love of a good woman”. And the “bad boys” are looking for someone who will accept their persecution.
But everyone involved will, in actuality, perform each role in turn.
I know about this, because my first husband was abusive. Mind you, I was also taught this to some extent, because my parents had been taught it, and probably so on back to who knows when. Maybe when my ancestors were serfs under a bad lord, or something.
But my ex had it worse, and his parents were far worse. He was in therapy to fix some of the problems from growing up in an abusive household, and he liked to do psycho-babble, so I learned about the drama triangle through him. But, because I have always tried to grow and improve things, I figured out where I was falling into the trap and how to break out.
It was interesting the day I announced my decision to end the marriage, as I sat back and watched him cycle through not only the 3 different roles, but through the hooks trying to lure me back into the trap by casting me in each of the other roles. I didn’t bite, I walked away from that relationship, and my subsequent marriage to Bob was always drama-free.