I loved that woman for two goddamn years. Treated her like a princess. And just because she’s used to having a guy beat her ass, and I won’t do that, she kicks me out on my ass?
That’s one fucked-up woman!
Look honey, I’m not your dad, who cheated on your mom with every woman in town. I never have cheated and have no intention of doing so. I’m a nice guy.
I’m not the “dirty Mexican asshole” who molested you at age eight. I have no intention of hurting you. I’m a nice guy.
I’m not the “stupid nigger bastard” who raped you when you were 12. I think with my heart and my brain, not with my dick. I’m a nice guy.
I’m not the sick, sick motherfucker who fist-fucked you and scraped his nails across your insides on his way out when you were 14. I could never in TEN THOUSAND YEARS do that to anyone. I’m a nice guy.
I’m not your ex-boyfriend who called you fat, lazy, stupid, and useless EVERY FUCKING DAY of your relationship. I never kicked you in the back when you were pregnant. I’m a nice guy.
I’m the guy who sacrificed everything he had and put it on the line for you. I’m the one who took the pregnant girl out on dates and raised her son as my own, without giving a damn about what anyone thought. I’m the guy who bought you your very first dozen roses. (remember Valentine’s Day 2000, dear?)
I’m the one that made you want to be a better person.
So please, in your infinite wisdom, TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK I WENT WRONG!!
Now you want me back.
Quite frankly, I don’t blame you.
What’s that? You’re not sure. OK. Keep being abused. It’s your life. Just throw away the most meaningful relationship you’ve ever had. Become poor white trash. Get knocked up again. Get infections from the sexual abuse you allow these other guys to inflict on you.
And please, pull your head out of your ass and get the help you need.
(And you wonder why I’m a)
“My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” - Ralph Wiggum