Sorry. I’m a socially akward person who seldom looks people in the eye when talking to them. You social people just don’t understand, though! It must come naturally to you. When I look someone in the eye, I never know when to look away. Stay focused too long and I seem creepy. Too short and I’m shifty and nervous. It’s something I actually have to think about and manually regulate while I’m talking. It’s not always a perfect process. Apologies if you experienced some discomfort, but know that mine was ten times stronger.
On the subject of CGR, add me to the short list of males who experience this phenomenon. The strange thing about it, though, was that I never had those feelings until after I’d had many long, very personal conversations with a woman who had been sexually abused over a period of many years. Hearing her describe her experiences and subsequent emotional distress may have triggered this “radar” in me. Then again, it may just be a coincidence or entirely my imagination. Who knows.
Another of my least favorite types of people is the Convenience Store Clerk Who Thinks He’s Your Best Friend.
Example conversation :
Clerk - “Well, how are you doing this afternoon?”
Me - “Fine.”
Clerk - “That sure is a big Coke.”
Me - “Um, yeah. It has to last me all night at work.”
Clerk - “Oh really? Where do you work?”
Me - (hurriedly, obviously trying to end conversation) “(name of business)”
Clerk - “Huh. Never heard of that. Where is it?”
Me - “(tells him)”
Clerk - “Uh, huh. And whaddaya’ll do up there?”
And on. And on. And on. Repeat the next day. And the next. And the next.
I really can’t tolerate hypochondriacs or people that always have something wrong with them. Literally, it’s like every conversation and every encounter with them revolves around their latest ailment. One friend in particular is hyper-sensitive about this and it’s all I can do to just yell, “If you’re so sick then check yourself into the damn hospital!” Recently after meeting her and her husband at a fall festival that was quite a distance from each of our homes, she complained for 20 minutes how carsick she was but didn’t want to do anything about it (stop for a drink, take a rest, etc.). If anything I try NOT to share any ailments I may have as I worry I’m coming off as a complainer or looking for attention.
Generally I’m not an overly sympathetic person, so trying to deal with someone who is begging for unnecessary sympathy is really difficult without being mean.
the carsickness story reminded me of a pet peeve, the Person-Who-Complains-But-Will-Not-Be-Helped.
I was taking a skiing lesson at Lake Louise in Alberta. LL is known to be a very cold venue for skiing. This one woman in my group had dressed rather inappropriately… light ski leggings, waist-length jacket. Needless to say, she got very chilled. After sufficient whining, the instructor took us to the lodge to “get warmed up,” taking away from lesson time that better-prepared skiers had paid for. grrr.
So, we sit her down. “I’m soo cooold… I can’t even feeel my feeeet.”
Would you like some cocoa?
“No.”
Would you like to loosen your boots?
“no.”
How about moving closer to the fire?
“no.”
I can get you some of those foot-warmer things…
“no.”
Creepy Girl Who Doesn’t Know the Meaning of the Words Hygiene, Personal Space, Has no Ability to Parse Social Clues a Rabid Giraffe Would Understand…is that enough information?
Creepy Girl takes high-end bio classes, which would be interesting (coming from a guy who watches surgery for fun) enough except … Iunno. She’s forever smelling of something foul, eats stuff with her mouth open, doesn’t seem to understand the concept of “If I am turned away from you, focusing intently on the television, and not responding to you, quite possibly I do not wish to talk to you right now”. I’d think she had a social disorder if she didn’t get so animated sometimes. I used to run into her all. the. time. at this one building (I went there because they have food, a water fountain, computers and a television with a lounge area all in a relatively small space). She must have gotten a different schedule or graduated or something because I haven’t seen her in over a year.