There’s this guy I work with, who sends off strong “creepy” vibes. I can’t figure out why, though.
He’s never said or done anything to me that is in fact creepy. I’ve never actually heard him speak, honestly or interacted with him in any way. He doesn’t look intimidating - after all he’s not the guy with fist tatooes or in goth gear (and neither of these guys strike me as creepy ftr) - he’s barely taller than me, and has boring non-descript looks.
But he’s creepy. The only thing I can put my finger on is the fact that he silently wanders around. Is that typically creepy?
I’d think it was just me, but I confessed to a coworker that I felt guilty for finding him creepy for no good reason, and she said “Oh, yeah. That guy creeps me out too.”
What about you, do you have the creepy guy where you work too? If so, why is your creepy guy creepy?
Not where I work, but I have met people I felt were “creepy” for no particular reason. My theory was that it was the “animal” part of me warning me - if my cats don’t like someone I’m usually wary of them and have been proved right on many occasions.
I know exactly what you mean. And I have to say, I can’t put my finger on it either.
I’ve even had one guy who creeped me out over the phone - I can only think it was the intonation in his voice - I had to deal with him pretty regularly, and every time I spoke to him, my skin was crawling. I never met the guy in person, and was very relieved when I moved on to a new job, and no longer dealt with him.
I know what you are talking about, but I’m not sure what makes someone seem unaccountably creepy.
Probably little tell-tale signs that you pick up on subconsciously. I think a lot of the things have to do with clues that the person may not be bound by reasonable societal norms or conversely simply not being able to ‘read’ the person.
Another vote for yes, we’ve got a creepy guy at work, but no, I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is that makes him creepy. He almost exactly matches the description from the OP, other than it was a co-worker who initiated the “Does he creep you out too?” conversation, not me.
In fact, I’m not sure I’ve every been able to figure out precisely what it is about some people that just creeps me out. I have noticed that it’s almost exclusively guys that I get that feeling from, but it doesn’t leap out at me that the guy in question is physically intimidating or behaving in a sexually inappropriate manner or anything like that.
Have you ever asked him what he’s building in there?
Creepiness may be that he has a hard time dealing with people: He can’t read social cues as well as the rest of the apes and he has to devote a bit more conscious thought to not doing something inappropriate. Therefore, his body language is constantly impaired by an accent or a stammer.
It dawned on me several years ago that this was how I was viewed by some, and since then I have yet to figure out what it is about me that causes this, and therefore what I should do to change their view.
The more I stay a loner because of my peceived creepiness, the more of a loner I will remain.
Hmm, my French teacher’s husband came along with us on our trip to France a few year ago and I found him quite intensely creepy. I too don’t really know why. But nobody else thought he was so maybe my creepy meter is broken. I don’t think it’s an inability to read social cues since he was about 60 and got along juuust fine with everyone. Plus I’ve met plenty of people who I thought were awkward, but not creepy.
There’s a couple of girls at work who the men find it uncomfortable to be around. Their creepiness is manifested by getting unnecessarily close to men in the lifts and also by just happening to turn up in the kitchen when you happen to be there. Plus the kind of stolen looks when they think you’re not looking and the shifting eyes described in this thread. It’s not serious enough to report, but it does make you feel uncomfortable.
We have a creepy guy (a student) in the music department here. The general theory as to what makes him creepy is that no one can understand what’s going on in his head at all, and also he follows people around.
I’m generally regarded, I’ve been told, as a creepy girl by people who don’t know me. I think this is due to a lack of social skills as well.
Yeah thats when you know someone is truly creepy because they are not physically intimidating at all and yet its like they are still intimidating in some creepy you think they would have no problem stabbing you in the back with a pair of scissors and then continuing reading the paper.
People who don’t interact with other people who occupy the same plane (i.e., work, school, etc.) are creepy.
People whose gaze lingers a little too long are creepy.
People who are out in the world and haven’t developed social skills are creepy.
People who don’t react creep me out. By that I mean people who don’t laugh at things that are generally considered funny, people who look at puppies or kittens and don’t exude a hint of “awwwww” in expression, mannerism, or vocally. People who can see something out of the ordinary happen and don’t respond emotionally or physically in any way. This would be the guy who just stands there when someone drops an armload of groceries or something.
I’ve always been more of the “shifty” or “shady” guy. Kind of like Hyde from That 70s Show. Never creepy though.
A couple of things that I think make people seem creepy:
-Occassional comments that imply dark thoughts
-Violating personal space (and not being visibly from another culture) - being a close-talker
-Lack of emotion
-Consistant emotional state regardless of circumstances (like smiling all the time for no reason)
-Tendency to fixate on certain topics
-Tendency to look you in the eye too long (people who don’t look you in the eye just seem awkward or shy).
-Excessive interest in hunting, martial arts or weaponry
-Overly quiet and detatched
-Lack of a sense of humor or inappropriate sense of humor
and the more “normal” they look the creepier they can seem. Kind of like someone wearing a mask that’s just not quite lifelike.
People usually have some “agenda” in their personality, and most people recognize and understand the majority of them, whether they like them or not.
Just from where I work: There are those who are genuinely friendly, who want to put you at ease. There are the control freaks, who need to dominate the relationship, and the corresponding group who like being controlled. There are the status seekers, who find the need to classify others according to their standards. There are the angry and bitter. I don’t feel the need to associate with every one of these folks, but at least I have an idea of what motivates them, and that gives me an idea of how to coexist.
I don’t think that we have any “creepy” folks here right now, but I have worked with people like that, and they seem to fall outside of any normal day-to-day behavior patterns. It isn’t living alone that defines them, although the odds are that they do. And it isn’t being intelligent that defines them, although the odds are that they are. It’s just that that their reaction to social situations seems to reflect that they don’t consider themselves to be part of a larger group. They appear to think of themselves alone, and to consider others as objects or game pieces. And if they don’t understand the game, they feel that it is perfectly acceptable to make up whatever rules suit them. They may or may not know that you find them creepy, but the chances are they don’t really care, which is the creepiest part of the whole thing.
The creepiness is there because we realize that we have no idea what is going through their minds, and we feel (correctly or incorrectly) that they could react in absolutely any way at all to anything, with no recognition of societal or legal conventions.
The curious thing is that some of these folks turn out to be quite gentle, humorous people who are just marching to a different drummer. But, I realize that I could equally well have described a serial killer. And some serial killers have been later described as being open and gregarious. So, I have no idea what separates the harmless from the harmful. But, stay out of the basement just to be safe.
I’ve run into a few creepy guys, mainly in passing, but I remember one in particular from college. He wanted to be my friend, and invited me over to his place, and would come over to mine (without an invitation). He never did a single improper thing, but my radar was going off all over the place. I felt like I was being moved in on. And I couldn’t figure out how to ditch this guy without being rude. Mind you, I was capable of being extremely rude when I was in college, but I was somehow afraid to be rude to this guy.
I came down with the flu, had a really high fever, and was essentially delirious. He came over, and in my delirium I started talking to him. Who knows what I babbled, but I guess I creeped him out, because he never bothered me after that.
I admit I probably do this, but I honestly have no idea what else to do with my eyes. If I look away at something else, then doesn’t that look shifty or bored? Yeah, I probably wasn’t properly socialized as a child, but I’m pretty good at faking it and fitting in, and I managed to snag a wife out of the deal. Oh, I don’t think anyone considers me a creep, at least not in my circle of colleagues.
