I am so mad at my husband right now.
In the first months after our twins were born, he did an excellent job of caring for them. Changing diapers, feeding, cuddling, playing - he was all over it. After a while, he was a little less enthused, but still did an excellent job; frankly my own enthusiasm as ebbed and waned at times, so that seems normal. Everyone in our families talks about what a great Dad he is.
Now that the babies are crawling and cruising, the challenges have shifted a bit. They get into things. My son (who’s far more physical) likes to pull his sister’s hair and sometimes knocks her down. They shout, they fuss, they jabber. Basically, it’s a zoo over here.
Well, my Hubby (who is not a stupid or an unkind man; he has a Ph.D. and loves animals) is so impatient with the kids. Especially our son. Hubby thinks he ought to be able to say “No!” from the couch and be obeyed. By 10-month-old babies! And when they don’t listen, Hubby’s volume increases. He shouts at them. He thinks this is fine, it’s “discipline”.
I’ve tried to explain redirecting, I’ve demonstrated it and done it frequently in Hubby’s presence. Hubby resents having to get up 10 times to correct the same behavior.
What’s ironic is the babies and I will often share a good holler - I think it’s a holdover from our recent Thanksgiving family gathering, during which Christmas songs were sung (badly). My daughter will let out a good yowl, I’ll join her, and my son will chime in. Hubby thinks this is awful, that the neighbors are going to think we’re abusing them. Over this joyous sound? But he has no compunctions about yelling their names, over and over, and I know that I can hear his voice down the hall, sounding quite menacing.
Do I need some perspective? Am I off base?