I just liked the little picture at the beginning. [sub]I’m easily amused[/sub]
It odd in this almost totally non-judgemental article how women who cheat are validated by circumstances of a stressful modern life, and cheating is (practically) a spiritually uplifting and empowering makeover of the soul.
f there was a similar feelgood, validating article for cheating men, the author would be ripped a new asshole.
What’s a wonder is why people get married and then cheat.
I’m female and have cheated on boyfriends in the past. It wasn’t a nice thing to do, and karma came back and kicked my ass, but I hadn’t made a lifetime commitment to person I was cheating on.
If you’re going to get married, think about changing that person’s colostomy bag when they’re 70 years old. If you still want to get married, knock yourself out. But at least have the common decency to get a divorce before you cheat on your spouse. If your feelings for a third party have grown to the point that you want to have sex with them, then its time to fess up to your spouse or be an adult and end contact with the third party.
I agree that its pretty lame to give married women the benefit of the doubt on cheating as in your quote from the article. The same reasons can and do apply to men who cheat as well. Doesn’t make it right and doesn’t give you an excuse to cheat.
Unless you’re absolutely, postively sure that the person you marry is the only person you want to have sex with for the rest of your life, don’t get married.** Its that simple, and that way you aren’t breaking a lifelong promise of commitment made before God and assembled family if you do find greener pastures.
**This statement is null and void when two consenting adults marry with the agreement that outside partners are allowed. Whatever your commitment, honor it or don’t make it in the first place.
– TWMD, female, married and willing to change my husband’s colostomy bag should the need arise.
“I don’t need you! And I can prove it…by needing someone else!”
Yes, men are just as guilty of this as women. Ernest Hemingway always had a replacement waiting in the wings as each relationships failed. It’s always the other person’s fault, of course, and after enough such failures, it’s women/men in general who are the flawed half of the species (see accompanying article on gender brain chemistry - new fidings!) I guess the key to this self-empowerment stuff is aquisition, not maintenence. (Just sour grapes - I could never get laid)
And anyway, Newsweek is closer to Cosmopolitan and Maxim than, say The Lancet on the slick magazine scale, so any jackass can write a serious-sounding piece of pop-anthropology for the features section. (Just sour grapes - I could never get published).
Unfortunately, I’ve seen similar reports on TV before. <Insert very annoyed comment about the modern habit of using circumstances to validate any decision so as to avoid making judgments of people’s behavior.>
She should be ripped a new asshole!
There was a book that came out in the 90s called something like “The Secret Life of the American Wife” that posited exactly the same kind of nonsense.
Yeah, the world’s full of double standards. This one in particular happens to be one of my “favorites”.
Something I’ve always told all of my past GF’s:
“Hey, if you want to cheat and you think you can get away with it. Go for it, by all means. Just don’t be a stupid bitch and tell me about it later on down the line because YOU feel guilty.”
Ignorance is truely bliss. Why should I have to suffer for something stupid SHE did?
I pretty much keep this philosophy close at heart because as far as BFs go; I’d probably be one of the EASIEST guys to cheat on because I don’t ever ask questions and I don’t ever doubt they’re doing exactly what they tell me they’re doing.
In other words I’m totally trusting untill given a reason not to.
Cheating is cheating. Married or not, if you and the other person have made it clear the exclusivity is expected, then it’s still the same thing.
I agree with your point, but don’t see why being married or not should make any difference at all. If you’re going to cheat–on anyone–have the decency to “fess up” to your partner/spouse/whatever.
No wonder they are “past” GF’s. That’s a really endearing comment.
Guess I should have spelt out I was w-r-o-n-g instead of merely implying it. :rolleyes:
I don’t know about you, but when I dated, I didn’t tell the other person that I was going to be faithful to them for the rest of my life, bar none, game over. Fidelity was of course implied and discussed, and when I cheated I know that it was dishonorable and certainly not a nice thing, which I believe I’ve already addressed. However, I was 19, and frankly, no one was playing for keeps. Yes, it hurt, and it hurt me when the tables were turned.
Cheating on your boyfriend is bad and immoral, ladies, just so its spelled out. Cheating on your husband just because you wanted a nice big fairytale wedding seven years ago and now you’re bored is asinine, irresponsible, childish, and far more self-centered than anyone entering marriage has a right to be.
Like my mother told me when I was having problems with this boyfriend or that one - “Honey, you aren’t married to him - you can always walk away.” Marriage takes things to an entirely different level and as such, infidelity is a much more serious crime - or at least, in theory, it ought to be. Just saying “cheating is cheating” doesn’t take into account that when you get married, you specifically spell out that for all intents and purposes, you’re going to commit yourself fully to the other person for life. I consider gay lifetime commitment ceremonies to serve the same purpose as marriage, in that you are declaring your faith and fidelity to your partner to the world. A big difference from that guy you dated for a few months in college and ended up cheating on with that cute guy in Econ 102.
You know, I didn’t think the article was feel-good or validating. It was just reporting the facts, which is how a news article is supposed to be. All I took away from the article was that women cheat for the same reasons men historically have cheated: because they’re not satisfied with the relationship and because they think they can get away with it. Oh, and the current social climate makes it easier for people to be dissatisfied, technology makes it easier to cheat, and some women view it as empowering.
Really, the world’s most deadliest, there’s no need to be so defensive. Okay, so you see a huge difference between promising to be faithful for eternity and promising to be faithful for the duration of a relationship. Personally, I don’t. In my book, a promise is a promise and breaking that promise is equally shitty regardless of who you made the promise to, or the circumstances surrounding you making and subsequently breaking that promise. Your mileage varies. Is it really that big a deal for someone to point out that their opinion differs from yours?