Seeing as these threads, http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=90697 and http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=90397 seem to be pretty popular, I thought I’d start one of my own.
Turkey Basters
It makes me kind of tingly to realize that these things don’t melt when you suck up that hot grease.
Spork me, baby!
mmm… oven mitts…
I absolutly love it when the metal shimmers in the morning light. But I guess that’s not very surprising…
Contrary to popular belief, size does matter. The bigger the utensil, the more attractive.
Also I must say that just a hint of rust in the right places is a huge turn on.
For knives, being freshly sharpened is also quite pleasing.
Personally, I’ve never found sporks the least bit sexy. I just don’t see the appeal. It’s as if they couldn’t decide what they wanted to be. On that same note, I do find decisive utensils attractive. They have far more confidence, and are comfortable being who they are.
This lends unexpected meaning to Phil Manzanera’s composition "Mummy Was an Asteroid, Daddy Was a Small Non-Stick Kitchen Utensil"
Well, Supernova, I do like a decisive utensil also, but
as my post on the things that make a man sexy thread indicates, I find a wide variety of interests and skills
to be very sexy. You know, the ability to swing many
different ways. (Not Biblically, of course! :))
On the downside, the plastic IS a bit…flimsy…which is
unfortunate…but on the upside, it’s disposable! Perhaps the spork is best relegated to “fling” material only?
My Kitchen-Aid mixer is hot in an understated way. He’s stocky, solid, reliable, strong. The stainless steel bowl is slick and look at all the attachments. The only thing is he is white-skinned and I’ve always been partial to non-white skin, but I’m open-minded and I can see past color.
The gentle curves of a wisk are quite exciting.
Also when a wisk wears glasses. Oh yeah!
I like sharp, pointy things. And fire. Fire is cool. Heh heh. 
Spatulas. Because they’re StoryTyler’s favorite implement.
Humongous br-- I meant, a nice personality.
Damn! Wrong thread.
I love the ribbing you find on the handles of many Good Grips products.
I take them out of the drawers and stroke them from time to time.
They’re difficult to clean, but sometimes a high-maintenence utensil is worth the effort.
Wooden untensils and the curve of a really sharp blade.
wooden utensils definitely!