Okay, this story is thirty years old, so maybe things have changed.
In 1984 I was attending a professional trade school for baking. The gender division was about 85% male, 15% female.
During one week we had a series of seminars or talks with guest speakers brought in. One such talk was about women in management, as management levels in baking have been overwhelmingly male.
The speaker was bright and entertaining. But when he asked for questions one guy in the class asked if women were suitable for management because “they have mood swings because of this thing that happens to them every month.”
We women in the class bared our teeth, unsheathed our claws, and prepared to spring at him, but the speaker cleverly defused the situation. He leaned forward, opened his eyes real wide while looking at the questioner and said in an affected voice “Are you talking about their raging hormones?” Even we women dissolved in laughter, and the guy slunk down in his seat with a cherry red face.
(And in high school, I did once go down on my girlfriend during her period. Not such a big deal, really, but perhaps I’m handier with a damp washcloth than an average person?)
Period sex is just a minor logistical hurdle, though I can totally understand if one partner or the other just isn’t in the mood to deal with it.
I’ll also second the poster who said that men are not as observant as women seem to think. I can assure you, missyevelyn, that no man has ever noticed that you were bloated, and probably never will. Maybe your doctor would notice, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.
If a woman gets no pleasure from giving a bj, she’s doing it wrong. It’s not really supposed to be as one-sided as you make it out to be. If all sexual acts aside from p-i-v intercourse were one sided, people would never have any fun they’d just be checking off “you owe me” charts.
As much as I agree with some of your comments, this all sounds like “the bastard just could NOT read my mind!” - a crime men are perpetually guilty of.
So, historically, you see that after a while together, the guy starts to understand the intricacies of the woman, and likely comes to know how you feel/act and what you expect during your period.
But now you’ve been with a guy for three months, probably having only gone through two or three periods (not four years of periods) and you expect him to have the same immediate understanding of your signals and how you feel/act during your period?
Why are all women so impatient? Why do all women expect men to mind read? :rolleyes:
What women don’t understand is that men have PMS all the time. That’s why we have wars and punch each other and communicate monosyllabicly and swallow our emotions.
Been married 13 years, am very, very regular, and my husband still has no idea when I am due for my period. Of course, there can be a box of pads on the back of the toilet, and several used ones in the trash, and he still may not have a clue.
I don’t care that he needs to be told, though, because if I go to the medicine cabinet and discover we’re out of Tylenol, and I’m cramping, he’s happy to run out and get some, and he’ll usually bring back chocolate, too, without being asked. And if I ask him to buy pads, I have to be very specific about what I need, and usually get a phone call asking me to clarify something, but he does it, without complaining, and it’s the right thing. That’s really all he needs to get, as far as I’m concerned.
Maybe it’s just me, but if you can’t be a little bloated and fit into your clothes, maybe your clothes are too small. I get bloated during my period, and also when I’m having an IBS attack, but my clothes still fit.
You’re expecting him to read your mind and you’re assuming that all women think like you do. To any sane person, it would have been a minor misunderstanding. How would any guy be expected to extrapolate “I don’t want to have sex” from “I’m a bit bloated?”
He’s not jumping to conclusions about you. Isn’t that a good thing?
And there is absolutely no need to denigrate “men.”
p.s. I’m a feminist, Drunky Smurf, and I don’t do that kind of crap. (A feminist on her period no less!) Stop generalizing. And the OP is no feminist at all.
My wife is at the stage where periods are no longer an issue, but I can share my 30+ years of experience to offer the OP a little insight.
No, men don’t understand periods. We also don’t understand when women have the flu or something and insist on getting up and try to get through the day. Men have only three health settings: feeling good, pretending to feel good, and oh-my-god-I’m-dying-come-take-care-of-me.
No, we don’t notice that you’re bloated. Even if we did, we’re way too conditioned by the “do I look fat?” minefield to let on.
In either case, when a guy gets bloated, it means he’s drunk too much beer too fast. A trip to the bathroom and a few good belches puts us back in shape, so it’s hard to understand that doesn’t work for you.
Your periods can be so regular that astronomers use them to track planetary orbits. That doesn’t mean we’ll notice. That part of our brain is occupied by sports statistics.
I can’t speak for all men, but when my sweetie is “curled up” with me and unbuttons her jeans, I’m at least going to wonder if that’s an overture. Sorry.
Of course we’d make jokes if we got periods. We make jokes about every other bodily function. In fact, the more disgusting the function, the more we joke about it. If men got periods, Abbot and Costello’s “Who’s on first” routine would be about borrowing tampons.
However, you’re still allowed to think your boyfriend is a pig. We’ve been warned to expect women to get a little edgy when they’re PMSing.
Yours truly, in the interest of greater understanding between the sexes.
I totally agree to this. Sometimes you just want to do it to make your SO happy, which in turn, should get you off (to whatever degree).
Anyway, Kunilou is hilariously spot on. Listen to him. And if you won’t take his advice, consider this… I’m female too, and I have no frigging clue when other women are “bloated.” If another of your sex can’t tell, and we’re supposed to be the ones who notice shit like that, what hope is there for the males of the species?
