SWM says the heck with relationships and head games, I’m becoming a priest a taking vows of chastity.
[size=1]Bet I’d get a ton of responses…[size]
Criminey. I can’t code today worth beans. And with the size fubar, I certainly won’t get many responses.
Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Sea and all the ships at America.
I always had troubkle getting dates. None of the “traditional” ways worked for me, so I started placing personals back before they were really popular, and was perfectly positioned wjen the trend caught up to me. Unfortunately, I never got a lot of responses, and to this day I don’t know why. Eventually I placed an ad in cryptogram form. I figured that it would attract some attention, and any ouzzle-solver interested enough to work it out would contact me afterwards. The first week, though, it didn’t run – the editor looked at the ad filled with apparent gibberish and concluded it was all a typo. I called them up to complain, and it was re-instated. I git three responses, all from puzzle-solvers. None of them wanted a date, though. They just like solving puzzles, and they asked if I could run another one. None of them tumbled to my real name being encoded in another code under the original message.
I’ve actually got a Matches ad in the Chicago Reader that comes out today. A prize (of my choosing) to the person who can identify it and post it here…
I met my last S.O. when I responded to his Reader ad. It didn’t work out, but not because I met him through an ad. It turned out that we knew people in common, and might conceivably have met each other elsewhere at some point.
MSM (married stripped male) ISO someone who wouldn’t get a restrainging order just because I scratched her name and mine 6000 times in to the paint job on her car with my fingernails after our first date.
IWF (Involved White Female) ISO slightly crazy, funny guy with no family issues. (Mine or yours.) Me: average height, above average sense of humor. No schlock, please. The only time I want to take long walks on the beach is if the keg is somewhere else. Must be able to attend as many as 150 concerts a year or just not bitch about me going to them, and appreciate the fact that I have broad taste in music. Must also be able to put up with psychotic 26 pound cat that hates people in general. Controlling, possesive bastards need not apply.
Zebra, you silly. You have to scratch the names in your car, and drive to her house at 3 in the morning and pull a “Say Anything” type move. That way you can prove you’re not crazy, just devoted! 
Pudgy Suburban Mom ISO someone to put up with her lousy housekeeping, indifferent cooking, and lame yet unrelenting sense of humor. Scrabble fan a bonus. I have no problem with wealth.
Actually I met my husband via a personal ad.
Twice.
The first time, I answered his ad, we met, and he never called me again, which I found so insulting I swore off personal ads and the losers who place them. But about four years later I had a change of heart. I found one ad to answer–an ad written by the same guy, who had just placed one again after a relationship ended. Go figure. When I figured out who he was (in the getting-to-know-you phone call) I was aghast. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to meet again (since I obviously didn’t impress him the first time). But he talked me into it. And you can see what happened: Happy marriage, beautiful child, dog, cat, mortgage.
You missed a couple:
Care free – unemployed
Fun loving – irresponsible
Social drinker – alcoholic
Family oriented – lives with mom
Open minded – closeted
Discreet – will post details of your sex life on-line