I forgot to list some of the folks at my gym:
Mr. Incredible- an amazing resemblance to said movie character.
Gravy Lady- an unfair name for an old lady who works out EVERY DAY. She is very tan and so wrinkled that she looks like the surface of congealed gravy.
Ultra-hottie- Self explanatory.
To me, any guy with a suit, tie and sometimes a briefcase in hand is “Business Bob.”
The talk of gym nicknames reminds me of a guy from college. His nickname to those of us that didn’t know him was Stretch. He had the biggest, angriest stretch marks across his chest. He was very proud of them. Sometimes he would do dumbbell flys with very heavy weight until the stretch marks split open and bled. :eek:
Reading this thread reminded me of another thing I used to do with my friends which was somewhat similar. We used to look for famous people in crowds. Of course they weren’t real famous people they just looked like them. We usually did this at sporting events like Yankee games. The rules were simple.
OMG - I have a ButterFace Kelly that I’ll randomly see out and about (friend of a friend kinda thang). She is all good and has a smokin’ body but when I see her face I have an involuntary hurl-reaction. Either she needs a head transplant or I need an eye translplant (preferably from Ray Charles/Stevie Wonder/Roy Orbison…)
[nitpick]
Roy wasn’t blind. He misplaced his glasses before a gig early in his career, and the only ones available were shades. They stuck as a trademark.
[/nitpick]
No shit? I never knew that.
Thanks.
The proof is in the puddin’WEB:
http://experts.about.com/q/1413/621197.htm
Thanks for clearing up 37 years of ignorance!
::Roy, I feel used for some reason::
unless I’m being whooshed, of course…
Only one I can think of:
“Spraypaint”: A poor, old homeless guy that has all of his worldly possessions either in, strapped to, or hanging off an old shopping cart. He’s so paranoid that someone might steal something of his, that he’s spraypainted everything at least once–hence the name. I always see the guy pulling, yes pulling his cart over the same bridge on the Missouri River here in Montana. The guy finally got inventive though, and built a mast with outrigging on his cart so he can take advantage of the windier days. . .
Tripler
I presume he could also use it as a ridgepole for a tent, if he has enough material for a tent.
Okay, I remembered some more:
the girl in kindergarten who loved to eat paste: Barbara the Paste-Eater.
Dull yet descriptive.
Shower Boy: teenager who used to live next door and sing in the shower. I am so horrible that I once used a tape recorder with a condenser microphone to capture one of the songs–no rhythm, no melody, clapping out of sync, etc. in all its glory.
I call it “The best of Shower Boy, Volume 1.”
Fidgets: My dad nicknamed this restless woman who was always present on senior citizen bus trips. She couldn’t sit still for two seconds.
Swearing Guy: This fellow lives upstairs from a friend of mine. I have seen him while condo- and dog-sitting for her. He has Tourette’s and is apparently schizophrenic as well. The poor fellow swears to himself, or very much out loud, on a regular basis, wears taped-up glasses, doesn’t wash his hair, leaves his car to get dust and rust all over it, and doesn’t seem interested in changing clothes or bathing.
Dick-Nick: This guy also lives in the aforementioned friend’s building. He told her his name once, but she can’t hear very well out of one ear, so the next time she saw him, she said, “Hi, Dick.” He corrected her: “It’s Nick.”
She is still mortified about this. I still like to refer to Dick-Nick just to bug her.
Little Old Thin Man: This guy lives a few houses down. He is in his 80s, seems to be Asian, and is as limber as a child. He can squat for hours on end, walk up and down the street, smoke like a train and will still wind up outliving us.
Feel free to call me Tall Non-Fat Chai Latte if I ever show up. 
Not-Margaret
Cute brunette gal who hung constantly with a cute blonde gal I knew only well enough to know her first name (Margaret).
Milton
Nebbishy little guy with heavy glasses who used to visit the restaurant where I worked. Looked exactly like Milton the psychopathic nerd from the Office Space film shorts.
Airhose
Particularly robotic-looking Navy ROTC Marine Option Midshipman I shared a class with in college. Never opened his mouth. Walked, sat, and looked like he had an airhose up his ass, hence the nickname.
Cueball
You, if you shave your head clean.
Is that even possible?!? :eek: Honestly, it’s like the gym rat equivalent of secret cutting.
Our gym has
Leaning Man - the large gentleman who, despite repeated direction from the gym attendants, continues to lean forward and drape himself over the controls of the stepmill.
Gorgeous Asian Girl, kinda self-explanatory, usually accompanied by Tattooed Asian Guy, her boyfriend. They are both smokin’ hot.
Adopt-a-mom, the lady with three children of different ethnicities.
I see Ms. Addicted to Running every morning–she weighs about 80 lbs and must have knees made of tempered steel.
Mr. Guy with Beer in Hand and One in Pocket for the Way Home is out every evening, walking his dog. I figure if you can’t walk your dog w/o alcohol, you might just have a problem, there.
Various cashiers/checkers at various stores–I have been known to change lines to either get a cashier I like or avoid one I don’t!
There a clerk at Borders that I will actively avoid–I call her Loud Lady. She calls out your book selections and makes comments about them as she rings you up…obnoxious doesn’t cover it.
Jesus Paul. He’s not really a stranger, he’s a kid on my bus. I think he is a sophomore, but he might be a junior. He is really super Christian, and he is always wearing t-shirts that say things like, “Freedom of religion don’t mean freedom from religion” and “Body piercing saved my life.” He also always has a teeny tiny Bible that he reads all the time. He talks to other kids, but not me, and he is really annoying about his beliefs–he is right and everyone else is wrong. I hate him.
Every Sunday morning a couple sits together at the local fast food place and talk about what good Christians they are. He is JOHN THE BAPTIST and she, because she always whines about how she wishes she was back in Oklahoma is the TULSA WHINER.
Years ago I worked with a fellow who made a big deal of being secretive, never divulging anything about what he was doing, etc. Someone called him on it one day, and he haughtily replied, “Some people think of me as an enigma.” The next day a hand-lettered sign appeared in the office saying. “Caution: low-flying enigmas!” And he was known as the FLYING ENIGMA from then on.
I just remembered the NoSeeUms. They live on my street but appear to have no interaction with anyone around here. We know they exist because their cars disappear for a while, then reappear, indicating that they go to work or something. But the people themselves? Never to be seen.
I am saving this thread because it makes me laugh till the tears come every time I read it.
I just realized: I am Walking Woman in my neighborhood!
Still cracking up over the story of GODDAM and her Momma.
Nicknames for our neighbors:
“The Swiss” (he’s something European and they have a Swiss red cross on their mailbox)
“Faded, Faded, Fat Girl” washed-out fat girl
“The Walkers” yes, we have a couple who walks constantly
“Angry Jeeps” family with a Jeep who yell and then peel out of the driveway in sad Jeep
Nicknames for co-workers, past and present:
“Fine Young Filly” self-explanatory
“Xerox Farter” let just one little fart slip out by the copier and you’re marked forever
“Sssssssnake Lady” Filipina lady with an accent heavy on the sssssss’s
I just remembered one
The landlord of my shared student hovel also ran the local newsagents with his brother. One year he sent us a card “from Terry and staff”.
From then on, Terry’s brother was referred to amongst ourselves as “Staff”
There’s a huge guy that works out at the gym I go to that my friends and I used to call The Beast that Walks Like a Man. Once we heard him going off on his bank for their excessive insufficent funds charges, so now he’s called The Beast Who is Angered by Banking.