“I like women.”
I think Mr. O will back me up on this…
My pet phrase (that I nabbed from my not-so-sainted Mother, years ago) is, “I’d give my front seat in Hell…”
It usually means I really would like to have, do, or see something really badly.
I have a newer one I’ve recently adopted, having overheard my daughter pop out with it. She and a friend were talking, and obviously the friend said something that Daughter didn’t find at all interesting or enlightening. Friend rambled on (sorta like I’m doing now) and Daughter’s eyes rolled up in her head, she gave an exasperated sigh, and said, “This is ME…(pointing to her face)…NOT caring!”
It was quite the hoot. I’ve been trying to find ways to use it ever since.
“Let’s went.” A popular saying of my grandfather’s when leaving the premisis was taking longer than he liked;
Exclamations:
“Holy crap on a stick!”
“What the Jesus?!”
When I make an ass of myself:
“It’s OK…I’m a professional.”
When I get a failing test score:
“This…this grade is in metric, right?”
When completely confused and dumbfounded:
“Ow…my face.”
When a conversation or job is completed I like to say “And Bob’s your uncle!”
“Jesus Christ!” Pronounced: “Heyzeus Krist!”
“It’s amazing how much I don’t care about that!”
“Chrisus Jeest!”
“Yup… I’m an idiot.”
-Loopus
My favorite exclamation that I swiped from my husband…
“Holy Batshit, Robin!”
Shnitzies!
Oh I forgot “Wanna get pie?”
when people are talking about what they should’ve, would’ve, could’ve done, i like to respond with…
“yeah, and if this we’re a movie!!”
always brings them back to reality.
“Piss up my ass.” (Yelled out during an interview during an interview for a friends Video Production class during high school.)
“Nine miles from nowhere.”
“You couldn’t pay me to care about __.”
“Quibble-dick.”
" Somebody is going to have to go back and get a shitload of dimes"
lately I have been taken to saying “____ as a kitten that only eats flowers”
I have used it as an attempt to be romantic… “your as special and cute as a kitten that only eats flowers”… and as an insult “you are as weak as a kitten that only eats flowers, you could not hurt me” and used it everywhere inbetween. I also tend to describe foods with alot of layers as “high tech” and there is a certain kind of pastery I call a “baby bunny”
Welcome, ezra, and thanks for the Blazing Saddles reference.
I always tell folks: “Don’t go changing” as I leave, or my all time favorite:
“Don’t be doing anything.”
Nicked from a bartender 15 years ago. “See ya, Joe”
“Yeah, goddamma, goddamma, don’t be doin’ anything.”
I also tell the receptionist to hold SOME of my calls. Nobody calls. It’s a joke.
Whenever I want to move my daughter along, I say “chop chop, Joe” which is only entertaining because her name is not Joe. Another Mommyism of mine is “buckle up, chuckles.”
Other trademark phrases of mine:
“…apropos of nothing…” when someone says something that is – well, apropos of nothing.
“I’m sure you really do not want my undivided attention” when being nagged about something.
“Holy Criminitly, Nutley” stolen from the cartoon version of Robin Hood.
“I think you’re/he’s/she’s one of the Morans” because my husband misspelled moron once, and it became legend.
FUCK ME, with a BUCKET!
“What are the Magic Words?”
It comes with being a parent to remind everyone to say “Please” and “Thank you.”
I got my comeuppance once at a former job from a 20-something who didn’t know the Magic Words. “Fuck you?” she asked.
“I didn’t even know ducks could talk.” when someone gets bored of a conversation asking ‘why didn’t…’ about cartoons or films.