Pet peeves, get 'em while they are hot!

The BBQ Pit
41

– Being addressed as “Mrs.” Shocking as it may seem, some women are not married. Even more shockingly, some don’t particularly want to be married and will not be flattered if you presume they are.

– Students who can’t be bothered to check a simple reference book. (No, a URL by itself is not a bibliography entry. No, if you don’t understand the fine points of evolutionary theory, you are NOT allowed to make some shit up.)

– People (no names mentioned) who say that they dislike a prominent female public figure (again, no names mentioned) because they disagree with her politics, and then let loose with a torrent of misogyny that would make Jesse Helms blush.

– Jingoism.

There are probably others, but I’ve managed to piss myself off quite enough for the moment.

42

-Socks. And people who wear socks w/o shoes. Oh God, how I hate socks.

-People who talk in movies

-People who don’t use turn signals

-People who claim to hate a certain book, and then when asked “Why” says, “I didn’t get it.” Well, idiot, if you took the time to read the book (And I know for a fact that you just skimmed the book) and actually thought about what you just read, you may like it. Even if you don’t, you’ll look a LOT more intelligent because you could say “It had no character development, the plot was unclear, and the conclusion was hackneyed and cliched.” That sounds a lot better than “I didn’t get it.”

  • My sister who MUST be on the computer and have the TV remote at the same time. I can’t get her to understand, she can have one or the other, not both. I’m not going to sit here and watch cartoons while she chats in some “teen” room.
43

Ann Landers.
I can’t wait for that stupid bitch to either retire or die. She’s done more to spread Urban Legends than anybody, ever, in the history of the world. It’s because of her, and the people who read her crap that we’re having such a hard time fighting ignornace.
According to her (paraphrased) the internet destroys marriages, and makes it easier for predators to capture and kill desperate women. Does this stuff happen, maybe. But I take issue with the fact that she thinks this is ALL the internet does.
Maybe if she got on the net once in awhile to check her facts at snopes.com or here at the Straight Dope, she wouldn’t look like such a fucking fool.

44

Your friend may be used to chatrooms, where you want to send before the other person leaves.

45

I have a few pet peeves…

  • People who state the obvious. It makes me want to scream “No shit!” and then slap them around some.

  • People who patronise me…grrr.

  • Kids.

  • Christmas and anything associated with it.

  • People with prams who think they own the sidewalk just because they have a pram.

  • People who think that children are ‘precious’ and that giving birth is a miracle…psshh…right, anyone can pop out a kid, it’s not special.

  • All of the dumb sluts in Queensland.

  • Teenage mothers.

I have more but I’ll leave it for now.

46

People who misspell and mispronounce my name when it’s written down right there in front of them.

It’s Loretto.

L-O-R-E-T-T-O.

As in Our Lady of Loretto.
As in the Staircase in New Mexico.
As in the town in Maryland.

Yes, it is spelled correctly on my name tag.

It was spelled correctly on my tax return.

It was spelled correctly on the handwritten resume that I gave to the secretary at Workforce Development Services (no, I’m not too lazy to type- I didn’t own a typewriter, and the whole class gave her these handwritten resumes)

It was spelled correctly in the online form that I filled out when I donated money to the American Diabetes Foundation.

It was spelled correctly on the order form I filled out for my high school graduation invitations.

It was spelled correctly on the paper I turned in in my third grade reading class.

Yet, somehow, I always seem to be called Loretta, usually by someone who spends ten minutes staring at the name tag, tax refund checks made out to Loretta, a resume belonging to someone named Loretta, a letter form the Diabetes Foundation asking someone named Loretta for money, invitations for someone named Loretta’s high school graduation, and a graded paper returned by my third grade teacher, with the spelling of the name changed to Loretta.

Dammit, assholes, I know how to spell my own name. And I also know how to pronounce it. After I tell you it’s pronounced LO-RETT-O, why do you persist in calling me Loretta? And why, when you have my name on a piece of paper RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FREAKING FACE do you insist on typing Loretta on important documents?
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Whew. I’ve been holding that in for a couple of decades now. I feel so much better.

47
  • Waiting, tardiness and anyone or anything who either makes me wait or be late (usually both). I hate that. A simple call to let me know I could be doing something useful with my time while I WAIT for you to get your shit together, would redeem you. By that token…
  • Inconsiderate assholes. This covers: people who stop their cars in the middle of intersections to have a conversation, The Ignorant Stroller People who do not know how to pull out of the way so others can pass by, Sorority Chicks who are loudly having an inane conversation in the middle of the aisle/traffic area, and anyone else standing in the way, unaware that other people are using the same space to move around.
  • Intolerant, misogynist, homophobic, racist bigoted redneck idiots. 'Nuff said.
  • Christians who have to cram Christianity down my throat. Call from the Clue Phone: Not all of us are Christians. In fact, Christianity is a MINORITY on this planet.
  • Junk mail and spam. And telemarketers.
  • People who do not pay attention. “Hey! What are we supposed to do here?” I don’t know, maybe you could read that 4 foot sign hanging next to your face and FIGURE OUT THE INSTRUCTIONS! Who’s the next President? Pay Attention Numbnuts! People who are in their own little world and completely unaware of anything going on around them, should have the Clockwork Orange Treatment until they learn to absorb what they observe.
  • People who ask questions during movies. Who’s that guy? What’s he do? Why is he in this? I know what you do: I’ve been watching the same movie for the same amount of time. If you’d shut up, listen and PAY ATTENTION, you’ll probably figure it out on your own… Maybe.
48

I’ve been having a real SUV problem lately. It seems worse than ever.

I hate it when these morons think the rules don’t apply to them because they’re driving an oversized car to make up for their undersized dick. This goes for those monster duallys too. (Sure, sure, some people need them and some drive responsibly, but a lot of them are just real assholes. And I know that there are a lot of asshole drivers out there, but they seem to be mostly SUV drivers these days, unless their stupidity is just more noticable in those huge gaz-guzzling menaces to society.)

I hate it when they blatently run red lights, because, hey, why should they have to wait? The person trying to make a left-hand turn should just understand that SUVs go first!

Why do they have push and shove and get in front of me? I mean, sheesh, their car is bigger than mine, they can see fine if they’re in the back, but no. They have to get in front of me every time, blocking my view, because god forbid they get to their all-important destination 5 seconds later!

I’ve been toying with the idea of cutting them off right back so that they’ll have to swerve hard and roll over… heh heh heh…'course, they’d probably just run me over.
:slight_smile:
Thank you,
A girl

49

I think they are a budeh(sp I have no idea I even looked it up) wanna be. I mean every time you lean over to try to wipe(for us side wipers) the dang thing flushes getting your butt wetter. So you gotta get some more toilet paper to wipe off the water and then sure enough the vicious cycle starts again.

50

Is “bidet” the word you’re looking for?

51

People who call me Mrs. Joe Harker. Pisses me off more than you can imagine. I’m a real person, people. I am not a mere shadow of my husband. This is an absolute sure-fire way to get me not to buy something from you. My mom did it once. After I responded back with a thank you card signed, Your Daughter, Joe, and threatened to have my name legally changed, she got the point.

People who explain the obvious to each other in movies. The worst are the ones who say things like, “He really doesn’t like that girl, does he?” after the man just cussed her out and shoved her down the stairs and threatened to kill her.

Self-righteous religious types. 'Nuff said.

My in-laws having absolutely no idea what kind of person I’m like. Or more likely, refusing to see it. I really do like the city. I’m not going to move to some bum-fucked backwoods just because you like it and don’t understand why I wouldn’t. Your son likes the city too. Really.

I really do like those violent action games I put on my Christmas list. I wasn’t putting those down so you’d buy me nail files. If the cost is too high, that’s understandable. But I’d rather have nothing than perfume (makes my nose itch), nail files (I bite my nails and I’m not up for making that change), vanity trays (for what? I don’t have makeup, perfume or hair products), or cutesy knick knacks (dust collectors).

People who think that certain things are “man’s work” or “woman’s work”. It’s all gotta get done, people.

Whew. ::breathes a sigh of relief over getting that off her chest::

52

*Originally posted by cjharker *

Yep that’s it. I tried an “I” to but I have a little pocket dictionary and it wasn’t in there. Thanks.

53

People who don’t read books or newspapers presuming to have opinions on anything. My former roommates, for example, never read anything, yet when one told me that the US routinely sold nuclear weapons to China and I challenged him to back it up with a cite, he said, “well, prove it isn’t true.” Idiot.

People who don’t use turn signals when they change lanes.

Dance music in gay bars. To quote Quentin Crisp, “A lifetime of listening to disco is a high price to pay for one’s sexual orientation.”

Gay bars in general. Straight people have some lovely bars, with ferns and music turned low enough that you can have a conversation. Why do gay bars all have music at ear-splitting volume and reek of cigarettes and desperation?

People who just amble along at a snail’s pace in stores and on sidewalks. If you want to see the sights or chat with your friends, then step to one side so I can get my errands done without having to be stalled behind your lazy butt.

Semi-literates who cannot tell the difference between between “your” and “you’re.”

Guys who use poppers. Get that nasty-smelling crap away from me.

54

Some repeats, sorry.

People who empty their car ashtray in parking lots, or worse, out the car window while they’re driving.

People who refuse to use their turn signals.

People who don’t turn on their left-turning turn signal until after the light turns green.

People who block aisles.

Frantic weatherpeople with updates every 5 minutes about the expected inch or so of snow.

Waiting forever at the doctor’s office.

Driving on a grooved road they are getting ready to repave, and having to drive right past the hot tar/asphalt thingy. Are you sure that crap isn’t going to get on my car?

Light bulbs that burn out too quickly.

People who assume that just because I am quiet, that I am not having fun. Sorry, I’m not the life of the party; never have been, never will be. I like to people-watch.

55

The things I hate:

  1. People who won’t get out of my way in the fast lane. MOVE you stupid cow!
  2. People who won’t control their children. HEY instead of talking to that other stupid cow of a Mom tell your fucking child to stop making all of that fucking noise! BTW, I’ve spawned and I’ve been told several times how polite my offspring are.
  3. Cheap fuckers who admonish me about where I spend my money. If you want to buy your kids clothes at Wal-mart, Sears, Penny’s, etc. be my guest but don’t tell me I’m wasting my money because I shop at Gap Kids. Fuck you and your cheap ass.
  4. Punk-ass county school systems that close early/open late because someone spotted a snowflake two states over.
  5. Individuals who fly the Confederate flag. Fuck you, you redneck moron.
  6. Teenage angst. Get over it!
  7. Longa-fucking-berger baskets!
  8. The fact that I lived in Baltimore all my life and just moved to Columbia and never met Nacho4Sara. She seems so nifty!
  9. Over use of exclamation points! (Oh, wait…) :slight_smile:
56

Just because somebody doesn’t want to pay high prices (to compensate for an annoying ad campaign) for pretty much the same damn product that they can get for half the price elsewhere, thereby feeding the pockets of an environmentally unfriendly company, that doesn’t make them a “cheap ass.” In fact, it makes YOU a sheep for blindly going where the commercials tell you to go. Kids like yours are the ones that picked on me in school because my t-shirts didn’t needlessly cost $30. FUCK YOU!
Unrelated pet peeve:

Those smoking rooms at airports. You can’t breathe in there!

57

Can’t give specific companies, but my mom used to work in a sewing factory and she told me that many of the clothes that they sewed often times would go to different stores with different labels. Just as an example since I can’t provide specifics, a shirt would get a label for Wal-Mart and one for The Gap. You’d pay $10 for the Wal-Mart shirt, and $30 for The Gap shirt, but they were made exactly the same and from the same place.

JT, I don’t care where you spend your money, but calling those of us who prefer not to spend it in stores like Gap Kid, etc. “cheap asses” is just downright rude. I no more appreciate that than you would being called a poser.

58

I can corroborate this one. A friend of mine went to The Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC and did a couple internships at places like this. Yes, they make a bunch of shirts…some get the Gap label, and some get the Target label, some get the Penney’s label. Or whatever.

59

Assholes who push the elevator button after it’s already been pushed. Not only that but they have to push it 4 or 5 times. Then they look at you like you didn’t do it right. Like the elevator is going to say “Whoa, Bob is waiting, I better hurry up”.

Speaking of elevators, I work in a 20 story building. I hate when people get in a crowded elevator, then push #2! Take the stairs!!!

People who talk during movies but then ask questions about it because they couldn’t hear because they were talking.

Or when they ask questions about something in the movie that isn’t meant to be understood yet. WATCH THE MOVIE AND YOU WILL FIND OUT!!!

I hate when people say statemens but tail it off at the end so it sounds like a question. (sorry, mostly it’s high school or college freshmen girls who do this)

When ever other word in someone’s speech is “like”. “Like I went to this like Club and there was like this guy who like kept looking at me and like he was cute and like he asked me to like dance and…”

In-Laws who don’t understand that I have a family too and maybe my kids would like to see MY SIDE of the family during the holiday season. “You mean you aren’t coming over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day?”

Co workers who send me an email, then call right after they send the message informing me that I have an email coming, then they tell me everything in the email.

60

You forgot stylish and breathtakingly beautiful, but I’ll forgive you this time. :slight_smile:

I thought of another one that really burns my ass: moms who use their strollers as attack mechanisms. They either stroll along at the most leisurely pace possible so that I have to use my patented dodge-and-duck maneuver to pass them, or they rampage through the mall at breakneck speed, thrashing the stroller about wildly and giving the poor children whiplash at the same time. I’ve also seen parents blindly point the stroller in a forwardly direction without actually looking forward, so that they stroll right the fuck into me.

And fer chrissakes, buy a double stroller that’s long, not wide. You know, the kids behind one another. There is no excuse for you to have both kids side-by-side so they can fight and scream and you can hog up an entire aisle.