A major pet peeve of mine is when people take forever to decide what they want. Like in a restaurant for example. When the waiter shows up I say exactly what I want, how I want it, and what I want with it. I can’t stand it when you sit for 20 minutes talking when you should be looking at the menu and then when the waiter comes they pick it up for the first time.
Them - “Hmmm, the Surf ‘n’ Turd looks good, but so does the chicken. What do you think is good, Stormy?”
Me - “I don’t know, you’ve been here before.”
Them - “Well…I guess I’ll have the…hmmm.”
An episode of the Simpsons covered this quite well. The one where Marge becomes a Pretzel vendor.
I also hate it when you are in a car with someone at a d]drive-thru and you tell the driver what you want and they keep asking you!
“Alright what do you want?”
“A number 6 with a Hi-C.”
“Okay, I’ll have a number…What did you want again?”
It’s a friggin number for chrissakes! Sometimes I just want to strangle someone with their own seatbelt.
I’m with you on the snow driving thing. I’m in Michigan too and the last few weeks have been pretty bad. I take solace in that about 20% of the time, I see the offender up the road in the ditch.
Speaking of snow, I hate it when we get a big snowstorm and there is the one person who only used his wipers to clean off the snow so all he can see is two little holes in the windshield, everything else is covered up.
I hate commercials with talking babies or animals. HOW ORIGINAL! It’s not cute anymore, it’s annoying.
Redneck mothers in supermarkets screaming at their kids and smacking them around, only for the kid to repeat the same offending behavior 3 seconds later.
Drivers whose solution to snowy conditions is to drive at 1.7 mph - they get stuck on the first miniscule hill, thereby also stranding everyone behind them.
TV commercials. All of them, but in particular the endless number of vehicle commercials and the false images they project.
Junk email (1). Do you really think I’m going to refinance my house with your company as a result of your mass-mailing from a server in Korea or wherever?
Junk email (2). With a non-spam disclaimer at the end that tells you why it’s not really spam according to the Federal regulation #1234567890.
SUVs that are never used off road, but are purchased by people solely because of the rugged explorer image sold to them in point 3) above. Even worse if said 6500lb SUV rarely contains any passengers or more cargo than three bags of groceries.
Owners of 6 litre V8 $53,000 SUVs that whine about the “high price” of gas.
Dipshit owners of barking dogs who try to win an argument with their pets out in the yard e.g.: “Bark!”, “Hush!”, “Bark!”, “Hush!”, “Bark!”, “Hush!”, “Bark!”, “Hush!”, “Bark!”, “Hush!”, “Bark!”, “Hush!” (repeat ad infinitum).
Drivers who pull out right in front of you even though there’s nothing behind you, then they drive at one third the speed limit for 800 yards, then do a left turn (signal optional), forcing you to stop.
People using cell phones while driving.
Mothers changing their kids’ diapers (or whatever the fuck it is they do to avoid watching the road more than 2% of the time) while driving, usually in a new SUV (notice a repetitive vehicular theme here?)
ISPs whose tech support hold time is typically >=50 minutes.
Nuclear-powered stereos of any type, but especially when operated by moronic spotty teenagers in baseball caps.
“Driving” lights and all types of extra headlights whether factory-fitted or not.
Toilet paper put on the holder the wrong way round.
No toilet paper at all.
Being given the wrong pizza, getting it 7 miles home before realizing it’s got meat on it (I’m veggie. I’ve finally learned to check every time).
No beer anywhere in the house just when you need it.
People who wander aimlessly around supermarkets at a slug-like crawl, and manage to block the entire aisle for everyone who actually has a purpose in being there.
Waking up thinking it’s Friday and realizing it’s Thursday.
The thing that has got me enraged for so long.
People who point at thier wrist when asking for the time.
Yes, I know where my watch is fuckhead do you know where yours is?
People who pass out bibles and get mad when I pass them back to them. Excuse me for not going for every shiny thing.
People who whine about not having luxuries. Is the world gonna end if you dont have a cellphone or cable?
Women who think it’s prefectly ok for a guy to plunge thier head in their vaginas and drench themselves with her fluids but when the guy asks for a little head, they turn and cringe.
People who act very very sad in front of you and when you ask them “what’s wrong?”, they say “nothing”. Apparently you want my attention, quit wasting it spill it!
People who play loud music in thier house with every window and door open. Yes, that is a nice Yani record, but I don’t wanna hear it, close you danmed door!
Idiot protesters (mind you, not the smart ones) that want free speech, but when someone wants to debate the other side, they drown them out with boo’s. Fuck you, you assholes, you are giving good protesters like myself a bad name.
Unrealistic tampon commercials. Wow, I really wanna see you pour bluid fluid onto a tampon and have you cut it in half so I can see the chunky goodnes, thanks.
Cars with unfathomly small cup holders. I don’t know how big a Japanese Big Gulp is, but this Mitsubushi better hold mine.
Daryl Gates. I never got over his statement about shooting drug users. Mr. Gates, go shoot your son the druggie in the head to prove how great you are.
Wally George and his old episodes of “Hot Seat” (Is that still on?). Holy Christopher Christ on a Bycicle, Man! I like his stances on racism, but it pretty much stops there. You dont let anyone get an word in edgewise. If someone says something that you don’t like they get booted off your show. I don’t completely hate it, it is very humorous at times, but I had to mention the bad.
Religous Supremicist of any kind.
Poor People who ask for chnage but won’t accept pennies. I just emptied my pockets for you and you have the gall to refuse pennies? Money is money.
People who ask about what happened on TV when they just saw it.
::During an old Episode of The A-Team, Mr. T get’s shot::
Dolt: Did Mr. T just get shot?
Me: No, he’s merely bleeding and holding his arm for no reason. And that loud shot you heard was nothing.
Court TV. I’ve had enough of your JudgeJudyJerryHatchetMoralMillsLaneDivorceJoeBrown Extravaganza.
AOL! I visit AOL.com and an ad asking me to join pops up or even better, an ad askign to sign one of my friends up. Fuck you, I want information, not an endless uspply of pop-up ads.
Pissing Porn. Really now? Who gets off on that? The last thing I need to see while looking at Hustler is two chiks urinating on each other.
People who hate anything new.
Being pulled over for Driving While Hispanic.
People who automatically think I am a gay pot smoker because I support gay rights and legalization of marijuana. I am neither.
The elevator thing…
I lived in a 15-story apt. building when I was in college, on the second floor. Believe me, I would have rather walked down one flight of steps instead of waiting forever for the elevator and then listening to your big loud sigh when I got on to go one floor.
The stairway’s exit onto the ground level led directly outside, AND set off the fire alarm, AND had no doorknob on the outside, so I couldn’t take the steps to leave, or get back in. I had no choice.
