Wow.
I’ve seen worse, but not much is worse than that.
Wow. I mean, wow.
Note to future poets: please, for the love of all that is holy, make sure that you can actually write before you become a pretentious and moralizing poet.
And deprive the world of this?
“The conscious suffering
The hanging
The slicing
The hacking
The sawing
The skinning alive
The hanging body parts”
You, sir, have no soul.
There’s a limerick that’s I just loved, but I would have to post it in its entirety. I’ll just say it ends with the word “died-o.” Enjoy.
*Henry Gibson walks out carrying a big flower and recites *
Where Did All Their Bits Go
Whatever happens to their legs?
To their ears?
Their lips?
Their poo?
And all those things that we have too?
bows and leaves
There’s more to this one, look near the bottom of the page.
This site is far more likely to put me off poetry forever, rather than meat.
Reading the first three poems made me too hungry to go any further.
Jeeze… I never knew PETA was made up of Vogons.
My stomach will jump up and strangle my brain any minute now…
And what’s with the “skinning alive” thing? I thought cows were killed by a bolt through their brains before they start being processed as meat. (They don’t squirm as much that way.)
P.S. – My favorite bad poem on that page, thus far, is the one Tiramisu just had Henry Gibson reading. I like the second half just as much:
Whatever happens to their heads?
Their mouths?
Their hearts?
Their eyes?
Do they all end up in pies?
(I don’t know about you, mister I-avoid-the-meat-aisle poet, but I can get cow hearts at my local supermarket.)
Oh, and dig this wonderful line from “Evil Isn’t Far” (3/4 of the way down the page):
“This abomination makes me bawk”
(Oh, and before I forget – I take it the title “Battery Chicken” for the first poem is a reference to that The Meatrix video.)
I am just THIS close to asking you permission to use this as my sig line with a link to said “Vogon Poetry”.
Ok…PLEASE may I use this?
Yeah, but what about their lips or poo?
I wasn’t sure if I could post the whole thing but I did like that last line, too. “Yes, waitress I’ll have the lips-ears-eyes-poo-heart pie … er, yes, I mean a hot dog.”
My second favorite was Hey Little Ducky
*Hey little ducky, do you want some bread?
Why should I feed you? You’ll soon be dead. *
That one reminds me of something from a Happy Days episode, where the gang meets a couple beatnicks and the beatnick chick does a poem;
“Hey little birdie, with your beak pressed against the pet store window, there is no bird seed for you today, only DEATH!”
I can’t believe I still remember that line.
[Lisa Simpson] I once had a cat named Snowball.
He died, he died!
Mom told me he was sleeping.
She lied, she lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead?
Why couldn’t that truck hit me instead?[/LS]
So, um, is this a joke or is humanity really crumbling as we speak?
Necessary Suffering?
Take newborns from mothers, slaughter cows whilst with baby?
All for the sake of burgers and gravy!
Really this just makes me crave a burger.
Wow. I think that’s the worst poem I’ve ever read. And is the dairy industry really in the habit of killing pregnant cows? Doesn’t seem very logical or cost-effective to me, killing off a potential milk producer in-utero like that. Of course, it’s not like the poem makes any sense, anyway.
The poet(s?) seem to be very preoccupied with the animals’ poo for some reason. Curious.
[jingle]
In-N-Out…
In-N-Out…
That’s whatta hamburger’s all about!
[/jingle]
Now, that’s poetry! Guess where I’m off to?
Of course. The real reason PETA wants to keep animals alive is to collect their sweet, sweet poo.
Astro
And all other posters for that matter-
Just where does it say that those poems are by PETA members?
Also, where does it say that website is related to PETA?
No, I’m not a member of PETA, I’m just wondering why everyone keeps throwing that name around.
Go right ahead!
Yep. The secret is out. All this time you only thought they were VEGANS.
Sweetums