Phlosphr, you are a fucking idiot (re: home birth)

Dio, let’s say you’re interested in playing the drums. You go into the music store and say “hey, I want to learn the drums. Who should I talk to?” The guy behind the counter hands you a flyer for a local drumming tutor. Guy’s a high school graduate who dropped out of college to go touring around the region with some pretty well known bands. Not much formal training, but he’s been a consistent drummer for 20 years locally. You take the flyer and go home.
The next day, you’re talking to a friend, saying you’re interested in learning to play the drums. He says “oh wow, are you in luck! I’m friends with Yo-Yo Ma and if you want I can call him up and ask him to give you some lessons on drumming.”

Which do you choose, and why?

I don’t buy the analogy. If something goes wrong during the delivery, you’re going to need a doctor. A midwife or nurse cannot perform surgery or order meds. In an emergency, a nurse or a midwife is going to scream for a doctor anyway.

Well, clearly I choose Yo-Yo Ma, because that would be hilarious and awesome.

Also, since apparently this is the part of the thread where we do this, I would like to announce my picks in the following situations:

Pizza delivery guy over insurance salesman for “guy to help change a flat tire”.

Dentist over concert pianist for “guy to help troubleshoot Windows XP”.

Pastry chef over Anthony Bourdain for “guy to make pastry”. (Granted, this is a gimme.)

Barack Obama over Sarah Palin for “president of the United States.”

I think that should cover it for now.

:smiley:

I dunno. Insurance salesmen spend a lot of time in their cars too, and are crafty.

Agreed.

Do we get to hang out, or do I just eat the pastry with no interaction with the chef? In either case, pastry chef.

Oh, now don’t you go discountin’ the Barracuda. Just when you say she’s out, Mama Grizzly’s gonna run through your town, firin’ those shots, warnin’ the American people that guns and freedom are here to stay.

Can all doctor’s legally perform surgery? I don’t know if someone who is licenses as a psychiatrist, for instance, can do surgery. I don’t know if all doctors are even trained in surgery.

And a CNM CAN order meds. So can a CRNA (Certified Registered Nurse Anesthetist), or a NP (Nurse Practitioner) - and probably several other types of nurses (the ones I know all are at least Master’s Degreed nurses).

I don’t know? Do you know that they can’t?

I know that no nurse or midwife can, and if you’re in a hospital, there will be a doctor who can.
[/quote]

Cite? I’m calling bullshit on this.

To be honest, that’s not an unreasonable stance. It seems to me we have a right to be skeptical of people who aren’t licensed by state medical boards, which is the whole point of having state medical boards.

As has been noted, though, CNMs can order medication. As for surgery, well, that’s why I personally wouldn’t have a home birth–but I would have one in a hospital or birthing center where the primary attending medical professional was a CNM, who had a doctor nearby on call if necessary.

http://www.enotes.com/nursing-encyclopedia/administration-medication

Apparently “State laws vary regarding these privileges” but “Nurse practitioners and physician assistants are also often authorized to write prescriptions”.

You’re kidding, right? Of course a Nurse Practitioner can order meds. I saw one as my GP for years when I lived in Seattle. She ordered me antibiotics, antihistamines, diabetes medications, etc.

Here’s your cite, since you requested one. Nurse practitioner - Wikipedia

Second paragraph:

It took me approximately two seconds to find that information, by the way, so before storming in here demanding cites and calling bullshit, you could bother to spend a minute to check your assumptions first. I mean, your way is probably more entertaining overall. I’m just saying.

Nurse Practitioner Prescribing Law, State by State

There are two states that don’t permit NPs to prescribe controlled substances. A few states have some additional rules about controlled substances. In all other respects, NPs have “general prescribing authority” in every state in the US. The cosignature of a collaborating physician is not required in any state on any prescription that an NP is authorized to write.

I agree with your second part. There are things that, legally, CNM can’t do that a doctor can. In that case, it’s far better to have a doctor on call to make those decisions and it’s how we wrap back around to the idea that a hospital birth is better because it’s closer to facilities where there are people legally able to make decisions that those in a home birth situation cannot do.

But the conversation wasn’t about that, because you’ve hijacked it to the point where we’re not talking about home births or specific things a CNM can’t do. You’re talking about generalities and saying that ANY doctor is ALWAYS superior to a midwife. Which is an insane viewpoint.

So my analogy is apt. You seem to value education over experience to the point where you’d pick a guy with zero training in births over one with 20 years experience in births who doesn’t have MD next to the name.

I’d ask you to answer the question posed, but I already know the answer. Frankly I’m much too amused by the thoughts of how your conversation with Yo-yo Ma would go.

What a reckless, irresponsible policy. That needs to change.

Wiki says that most nurses can’t do it, though, only those with certain kinds of “advanced” certification.

Well, we know that no “direct entry midwife” is going to be able to do jack shit if anything goes wrong, and no nurse can perform surgery, so in an emergency, all these bitches still have to scream for a doctor.

You’re almost too hilarious to loathe.

“These bitches.” Seriously. That’s what you’re going with, here. That’s the level of conversation you want to have.

OK.

I’m going back to my previous policy regarding you. I bought the BS you were selling in your most recent Pit thread, but that’s on me for being gullible.

Like a Nurse Practitioner, or a Certified Nurse-Midwife? Both are advanced nursing certifications you attain AFTER already possessing an RN. Both have prescribibng authority within their field of speciality.

Rhetorically, why I am doing this? MsWhatsit is right.

I accept the correction. I would still rather have any doctor present than any nurse.

Rhetorically, I tend to do this rhetorically. That is, there are other people reading this who may be confused by things Dio says, so I’m posting to clear things up for them.

Although I will admit, I’ve been doing my damnedest to ignore him for months and been pretty successful, but he finally drew me into an engagement again. He’s good at pushing buttons like that.

Well, shit. I’ve been reading along but not participating, and I know y’won’t care, but I seriously thought my opinion of you couldn’t sink lower, and I was wrong.

From one bitch to another, I would like to thank you for taking one for the team, WhyNot.