When asked why I did something, I’ll often say “For sheeps and whistles” instead of “Shits and giggles”…I’ve been known to say “Oh, foghat” and “Farfignugen!” if I’m in school and there’s an administrator passing by. Instead of saying “Sh*t!” or…the other one that starts with an ‘f’…"I’ll say ‘Christ on a crouton!’ which I picked up from my Irish-American grandmother, along with the infamous “Jesus Christ, Mary, and Joseph!”. I also say “Balzac!” instead of “Damn!” if i’m around little kids.
Wow! I’m so impressed that some of you actually use phrases like “Great Ceasar’s Ghost!” and “Jumping Jehosaphat!” I definitely need to expand my repetoire of non-cursing curses.
For those of you who’ve spent time in non-English speaking countries, are there not-quite-profanities that get used often? Does Japanese have the equivalent of “Rats!” or “Darn!,” for example?
My personal fallback is “Great Shades of Elvis!”
Works pretty well and severely confuses the listener.
Crelm!
Well, “By Lucifer’s Beard!” and “Pie Jesu!” work for me, occasionally. Which is kind of odd, really. Seeing as how I’m an athiest.
“Ra” or “Thor damn it!” can do in a pinch, though. And “Smeg” and “Smeg off!” work wonders.
And, as an American, I can use “Bugger!” without fear of reproach, or even comprehension.
Ranchoth
Gotterdamerung!
No Problem - Just make an appointment - preferably after Luncheon and before Tiffin!
Failing that, pop round after elevenses!
This is close to the word I use. “Fudruckers” It’s the name of a burger joint my parents used to take me to when I was a kid.
FRIGATE!!
“Fershlugginer” usually works for me.
Dad blammit!
hm…
i just usually swear, most people i know are not offended by the casual misuse of the name of the lord, or by the occasional expletive…
however i find the following useful from time to time…
oh ffffff…ar away! (or ffff…ar out, ffff…ried chicken etc etc)
Bugger it/me/him/them… (this is not considered rude in this country… it’s even in an ad on tv)
Well knock me dead and call me Charlie
Kiss my Thistle (got that from my mother, she’s a scot who disapproves of the word “ass”)
I also curse in swedish, german (all those brittle consonants, it’s great!), and occasionally in russian.
Mr. Snicks often tells of a former secondary school teacher, who after touching the very hot burned-out bulb of an overhead projecter to change it, yelled
“Bad Words! Really bad words!”
It’s one of his favorite replacements.
He also likes Poopy or Poop. Not elegant, but he says that one cannot say it and not smile, so it goes a little bit towards rectifying bad situations.
Snicks
Snickers: That reminds me of the first episode of The Young Ones (“Demolition”). Neil picks up a large pot of lentil casserole from the stove.
I like Shazbot! You can use it in place of pretty much anything. 
Pantload.
I tend to use “crud,” “s-o-l” meaning “sorry out of luck” for my kids (that one required a think fast one day).
Dang, freak, and alot of little gggrrrrs along the way.
My usual “replacement” words and phrases are “Oh googlymoog!” “Alphabeta!” “Rastelhump!” “Filthin-flarin-foul-filth!” (a tip of the hat to Bill Cosby) and “Stinkin’” (i.e. “Then the stinkin’ idiot cuts me off again!” “Oooh, you stinkin’ copier, you ate my rastelhumpin’ paper! Alphabeta!”)
MOTHER OF PEARL!!!
I’m another “MOTHER OF PEARL!!!” user.
Also:
“Oh, my Sainted Aunt!”
And:
My siblings & I used the phrase “You Schmoo!” as a slur.