I’ll take The Hollows, please. Sure, I probably won’t be an inderlander, just an average human, but humans can do magic anyway (I swear I won’t summon demons!) and I think I’d get along well with the witches, vampires, pixies and weres, and perhaps the elves. And I think the fact that there’s no cross-breeding is an advantage if I’m only going to be there 4 years. Plus, unlike the rest of you, I won’t miss pizza; as a human none of the inderlanders would ever think of inviting me for it, tomatoes having the reputation they do and all.
I want to go to a place that stirs my Pagan soul. Accordingly, since I’m only going to be there four years, I choose the Sutterdown of CY 15, after the War against the Protector, and sufficiently before the events of SM Stirling’s Sunrise Lands series. For me in that world, the real problem would be getting fit, learning to defend myself, and learning to ride a horse.
Another cruel irony of life…remember the first two Burton Batman movies, where Bats had few compunctions about killing people in a fight?
The awful truth is, taking down all those supervillains, mobsters, and dangerous goons left Gotham safe and stable enough to develop into…the city we see in the last two pre-Nolan Batman movies. A campy, gay fantasia of a city where the most evil of criminals do most of their shopping at Spencer’s Gifts, and the masked vigilantes attend public charity balls, chatting with gossip columnists.
Forget threats to moral codes, the sanctity of life, or the integrity of the rule of law…that is the true price of security. Gotham Gertie and rubber Bat-nipples. And glow in the dark paint…so much glow in the dark paint…
Is that what we want to live with, in the end? Is it, really?
Kokomo…bodies in the sand, tropical drink melting in my hand…yes, please.
Phloston Paradise, with a scantily-clad Milla Jovovich. No bombs in the hotel, though, please.
“Heaven” from “What Dreams May Come”
Living with the Addams family or Darren and Sam.
Shoot, I forgot about that. Well, I guess I’d settle for the period when Reepicheep is around. The restored Narnia would be good too, when the Telmarines had either emigrated or decided to stay around for the new order. Caspian was a good king, and the fauns and Father Christmas would still be there.
Plus there were very few hot chiicks around during the Pevensie Era. And dating Queen Lucy or Queen Susan would be, um, dicey.
I have to second Dinotopia. No money + dinosaurs = awesome.
No surprise, but drop me off in Rivendell (Middle Earth) early in the Fourth Age please or even early Third Age. I’ll go back packing around with well he’s back. I would insist on visiting Tom Bombadil though, but if that’s not desired, I am sure there are worse things then spending a week or two at the Prancing Pony.
I doubt you’d have a problem with Imladris, but I seriously doubt there’s indoor plumbing anywhere in Bree.
You promised me a job, right?
I want to go to Kzinhome. Working at one of the human embassies there.
How could one ever get bored on a planet full of intelligent carnivores who all think you look tasty? And think of the incentives to lose weight! (Most carnivores agree that marbling makes the meat taste better, after all…)
I’d also like to get in some singleship training, while I’m there, but that’s probably going to be up to me.
No, I promised money and fake ids as necessary. Job’s up to you and your wits. I figure if you go to Earth in the NG-era federation, you get practically nothing.
Whoops.
Hmm… Talk about Social Darwinism in action… “Here, you’re on Kzinhome, and will remain here for four years. Find a way to survive…”
Maybe I should just go to Jinx, instead.
I know, I know, but I’ll take my chances. If I wasn’t assured eventual rescue I would have to pick a high tech local, but as I know I will get to spend most of my life back here, I can’t pass up the opportunity to visit my favorite fictional land by far.
BTW: When do we return here? After a few minutes or a day or after 4 years?
BTW[sup]2[/sup]:Can we use your Burrough-Libby continua device to just get me into the wonderful fictional local known as the Oz modified Gay Deceiver? Then I can spread out my sightseeing tour a bit more.
I’m running the machine, not Fabulous Creature, so you get to specify how much subjective time you spend there and get to return in 4 years Earth time.
(Fab would either bring you back the moment you left or drop your ass in Mordor, just for the comedy value.)
Sounds unwise. Gay is alive. Gay does not know you. Gay will think you are trying to steal her. Gay holds all humans not named Zeb, Deety, Hilda, or Jake in contempt (and I’m not sure about Jake; it would be just like Gay to have listened to Jake thoughtlessly humiliating Hillbilly, figuring out what that meant once Glinda & Deety brought her to life, and to have instantly been filled with slow-simmering-yet-venomous rage). Unless Zeb, Deety, or Hilda specifically orders her otherwise, Gay is going to be thinking of ways to kill you in fairly short order.
I was hoping to not lose 4 years here. I couldn’t do that. I was hoping I could go on my trip and lose no more than a few days top at home. I have to turn down your very kind offer if I am gone for an extended time from my family. I would always regret it, but then I already regret a few real opportunities where I am happy I made the choices I did anyway.
As to Gay, I am treating her as the locale and hoping I would be able to talk to Zeb and company about the ride. I though I might even get to meet Mr. Long. Thusly I would hope to avoid death and/or dismemberment as a fellow traveler with some oddball knowledge.
Fine. Just take a vacation and come back four days later, only to find America ruled by SARAH PALIN. (I figured Fabulous Creature is already plotting to steal the election for McCain and then move Palin into the oval office somehow, just to be a jerk.) I, on the other hand, will be on board the Enterprise-D, where my common sense and complete refusal to use the holodeck will shortly have me promoted to first officer.
Hopefully you’ll be lucky enough to land in Deety’s lap. She’ll be annoyed, but you’re probably not a enough of a thread to her to make send anyone into a murderous rage.
Don’t you mean ‘…where my relative common sense and complete refusal…’?
You’re not a chick. I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t release the flaming flesh-eating-bacteria-infected mosquitos upon you for such insolence.