Here’s the scenario. You’re out late one night and decide to take a shortcut through an alleyway when you are accosted by a gang of 4 street thugs, a bit boozed up and out for trouble.
Unfortunately you’ve broken an arm and a leg jumping over your yacht on a jetski, so you’re worms meat. Fortunately, your friendly neighbourhood time traveler is on hand to save you to ensure that the galactic federation is formed, so to save you I can transport one person from any point in history to protect your ass.
Using quantum…er, nanites they’ll believe that you are someone they must protect at all costs and will fight with their utmost against your attackers, who are of average build but unarmed. My time machine runs on Terminator rules, but for modesty’s sakes they’ll have boxer shorts and foot wraps on. I’ll be in the background singing Whitney Houston. Who do you pick?
For bonus points, whoever is safest the quickest will win a personal holodeck, so choose wisely. Me, and I’m prepared to be called an idiot on this one, but I’m gonna be cliche and pick Muhammad Ali in his prime simply because I think his speed and dexterity would turn 4 street toughs into a find red mist in record time.
Real life? Any good brand of commercial bodyguard will be fine. If it has to be a celeb, then Chuck Norris, in his prime. While the thugs are going, “Holy shit, it’s Chuck Norris!”, I’m hobbling the other way as fast as I can hobble.
Lucia Rijker. Because nothing is going to stomp a group of dude’s egos quite like getting their ass handed to them by a girl. As a plus, she doesn’t look* that *dangerous so the element of surprise is on her side.
Call me corny, but I’m picking my husband. He’s a police officer in a crime-ridden area, so he’s certainly learned how to fend off street thugs. (And while he is armed when he’s on duty, he also knows that the less force you use, the less likely you are to get in trouble for using excessive force.) And I’m pretty sure he’d fight for me with more passion than any historical figure I could pick.
I don’t know shit about which martial-arts expert to choose, but I’d pick the best martial-arts fighter over the best boxer. So no Ali or Tyson.
My bet would be that someone who’s trained to use all parts of his/her body as weapons is going to be a lot more effective in a street fight than someone who’s going to stick with his fists.
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