If you’ve recently bought an overpriced piece of handmade jewelry made with vintage pieces, there’s a good chance I was involved in making or shipping it.
If you’ve skimmed through a certain magazine written for and by people in the foster care system, you have probably seen some of my artwork.
If you worked at a particular Bluetooth hardware company just north of San Diego on the eastern side of town, there’s a fairly good chance I’m part of the reason your computer and/or printer and/or network works. If you’ve done mass format/install jobs for computers in that office, you probably used a script I wrote.
If you work IT at a particular intellectual property firm in the northwestern corner of San Diego, I’ve used your department’s money to learn Python and do absolutely nothing worthwhile with it. Sorry.
If you were active in the ZZT/MegaZeux community (a couple particular kinds of game creation system for DOS) in the late 1990s, there’s a pretty good chance you downloaded something from an FTP site I maintained. There’s also a pretty good chance you read an interview I conducted with one of the more prominent names in the community at the time. You’ve probably heard a lot of negative things about me, as I was a pretty obnoxious little youth at the time. (I’ve since matured into an obnoxious large youth 
)
If you’ve worked at or attended a particular middle school a couple of miles southeast of UC San Diego, there’s a fair chance you’ve used a computer I once fixed.
If you’ve sat down near the ice rink in a large and popular outdoor mall in northeastern San Diego, there’s a small chance I put the chair there.
If you’ve used any web-based recipe databases, you have very likely run across recipes originally digitized by me and posted on the Fidonet National Cooking Echo, where I’m a mod. (There are folks out there who harvest those recipes and archive them for their websites.)
There are churches, restaurants, banks, businesses and libraries in southern New England where the incoming sunlight flows through stained-glass windows that I have designed, built, cleaned, and/or repaired. Leaded glass lasts a long time. Your great-grandchildren will also enjoy my work.
If you were treated for cancer in Florida in the late '90s, I may have fought with your insurance company to get more of your treatment covered or to get them to cough up for items they consider “irrelevant,” like wigs. :smack:
If you called a large mortgage company during the recent boom and were forced to speak to a young woman with a pleasant voice rather than your agent, you’ve likely spoken to me.
Same goes if you called either the main information number or the public relations number for a major art museum in the past six months.
If you’re a member of the news media in the mid-Atlantic region and cover the arts, you’ve likely got a press packet I put together. And, if you haven’t, you should call one of the numbers I mentioned immediately above. 
It’s not much, but it’s a start.
If you live in the UK and read the travel section of a particular, um, big Sunday paper, any spelling mistakes are likely to be my fault. Oh, and quite a few of the headlines etc are mine too.
If you watched AT&T commercials on network or cable TV in the early '90s you saw me. Or you might have heard same or similar radio commercial for AT&T. I’m the redhead in front of the yellow break shop.
FidoNet still exists? Whoa.
OK, if you are from the BBS days, you may have seen a FidoNet echo set up to handle my, erm, prolific messaging habits called Julie’s Corner. (It was the busiest echo in my area at the time.)
If your hard drive came from a company whose name reminds you of an Ocean Portal, I probably had a hand in hiring the person whose work enabled it to spin more efficiently, run more coolly and/or hold more data.
If you have had serious burns and were treated at any burn center in the New York City metro area with the latest in biomedical technology for skin replacements and analogs which helped to minimize your risk of infection, scarring and speeded your healing time, the research to take the theories and turn them into actual treatments also came from people that I had a hand in recruiting and hiring.
If you’ve been represented in criminal court by a public defender in one of six various counties in New York and Colorado, the employee handbook which governed everything from what your lawyer wore in court to what phone numbers they were required to give to you was written by me.
If you attended a middle school which took up two blocks on Seventh Avenue, had no first floor and was in a town with a population of exactly 10,200 people and are now 21 years old, I may have been your sixth grade teacher. But you probably aren’t because I know where 12 of my 14 students are and I don’t think any are Dopers. (If you are, speak up!)
If you take the aspirin products advertised nationally with commercials featuring Meredith Viera from The View, the employee handbook for the administrative and management staff and the labor contract for the people who work in the factories that are responsible for the pills you pop were all overseen by Mr. TeaElle, who posted here once after our daughter was born. 
If, within the past three years, your 1st-11th grade child took an open-ended standardized test for a school system in the North East or Midwest (and a couple of Southern states), chances are better than one in 40 that I scored their essay done for writing. Or, if your child is an ESL student who took a test this school year or retook a test for a graduation requirement that’s being phased in for 2006 by a particular midwestern state, odds are one in 6 that I supervised the person who scored your child’s test. Don’t blame me for your child hating the essay topics though, the States’ departments of ED come up with them. 
If you work in R&D or in development / testing for a company like auto manufacturers, pharmaceuticals, NASA, the military / government, electronics, etc. you may be using one of the test chambers I had a hand in. If you ever read the manual for it, I probably did those. Sorry about them, I could make them better if I had better publishing software to use than Word!
Almost everyone uses products every day that have been tested in our environmental chambers. Some products should have been tested a little longer.
If you’ve seen a Dodge Viper, you haven’t seen my work (because if it’s visible, it’s wrong!)
If you’ve been to the Bellagio in Las Vegas and saw the fountain, you haven’t seen my work (for the same reason).
If you’ve carried a tray at a cafeteria, you might have been carrying my work.
Ryder trucks, home insulation board, some plumbing pipe, fake rocks on TV or the sets of plays, (allegedly) The Smithsonian, and shower enclosures (so I’ve seen you naked!).
I am everywhere!
Yeah, it’s still staggering along. I haven’t run a BBS since '95, but I still access the Fido echos through web-based BBSes. COOKING gets about 1500 messages a month - chump change compared to busy message boards like the Dope.
If you have a child on Long Island who belongs to any sort of Youth Sports league, there’s a better than even chance that I photographed him/her…
…on the league organized picture day, of course!
If you have a Memory Mate, or a customized Trading Card in your wallet, or a Magazine cover with your kid on it, those are the products I make & the pictures I take.
I know, it’s not really the cover of Sports Illustrated, but it’s a living.
Also…I work one night a week at my friend’s bar. So if you’re out enjoying 5 pitchers & .20 wings on a Monday night at a particular pub in Suffolk County, that was me who argued with your assesment of the Giant’s offense, while pouring you a brew.
If you have ever worked for any chain of shoe shops owned by the British Shoe Corporation (apparently one of Europe’s largest retail operations), I wrote the branch manual used in every single branch.
If you have ever taken a Nurofen tablet, I made the video that taught the sales force how to sell it.
If you have ever used any CASE tool software made by a company called Synon, you have probably seen help text or a manual that I wrote.
If you have ever discussed psychic readings with skeptics, they have probably told you to consult my book on ‘cold reading’.
If you have ever enjoyed a show by Eddie Izzard, I was the first person to write sketches with him and I helped put together the first three comedy shows he ever wrote, performed in and took to the Edinburgh Fringe.
If, 10-15 years ago, you:
– bought Body Time bath gel, lotion, etc., in Berkeley, CA, or
– got prepped for surgery at the Kaiser hospital in Oakland, or
– received cardiac catherization with a heparin-coated catheter, or
– bought over-the-counter nasal or throat medications containing yerba santa,
You may have touched a piece of me.
If, in a couple of years, you get bacterial conjunctivitis or need ocular surgery, your doctor might prescribe a bottle of AzaSite, and you’ll get a little piece of me in your eye.
If you’ve had a dispute with a contractor in NW Phoenix, Arizona, chances are I’ve mailed a letter to you, or spoken to you on the phone.
If you’ve taken esomeprazole, rosuvastatin, or gefitinib, I had some part in helping get it approved. Likewise, I’ve had some smaller part in helping a dozen or so other drugs stay approved.
I custom design T-Shirts for tourists and ship crew members from all over the world, who then take the shirts with them to wherever they’re from. Thus, there is a very very very slight chance that person you just passed on the street is wearing a T-Shirt designed by me.
If you have ever contacted customer support for the largest Real Estate website in the US, chances are pretty good that I trained the person that you spoke with.
If you’ve ever lived in North Phoenix near Tapatio Cliffs and couldn’t get into your apartment building because some dolt in a Ford Focus was camped out in front of the little gate key opener widget, frantically searching for her gate card, that may have been me.
If you’ve ever visited a gay bar on karaoke night, there’s a slight chance that I may have been at a table with a bunch of loud straight girls and two embarrassed lesbians and I may or may not have performed “Like a Virgin”, “I Touch Myself”, or any number of Melissa Ethridge songs.
And if you’ve ever taken the 101 eastbound from the 51 to Frank Lloyd Wright and been unintentionally cut off or had someone ash out their window and blind you, that mighta been me too. Sorry 'bout that. 
If you use electrical standards publications, or are involved in developing eletrical standards (between the years 1992 and 1998) then that NEMA standard was edited by me.