Pimientos--Food from Hell

(rant)

Pimientos.

In anything.
Anywhere.
Especially if they’ve got the skin still on them (the red stuff in olives doesn’t count, because it isn’t really pimientos).

(end of rant)

Thank you for listening. I feel much better now. :cool:

Dude.

Far be it from me to talk back to somebody with 100+ posts, but…what are you eating? I ate two whole grocery stores in Tokyo on my last fire-breathing rampage, and the only thing with pimientoes was the olives.

Are they really that bad? I thought they were just pickled peppers. Have roaches gone extinct, and this is the FDA-approved replacement yuck item you can have up to one of in each package?

BTW, you ever try the almond-stuffed olives? Those are good.


don Jaime de los Resorbitos
Free the Water Tower 3!

Yeah, I know they’re just red bell peppers, and I don’t much care for them to begin with, but it’s what the food industry does to them that’s unforgivable. They slice them up and drop them into prepared foods here and there solely for color relief. It’s the ones in Lean Cuisine TV dinners that are the worst. It was a Lean Cuisine Cafe Classics Herb Roasted Chicken that prompted the rant.

Stouffer’s just sticks them in there for color relief with the green broccoli and the white chicken, these inch-long pieces of pimiento in there, and I don’t know, they’re just nasty, mostly skin. It’s like having pieces of plastic in your mouth. They aren’t tiny like the red specks they put in canned chicken a la king, so you can ignore them, but they aren’t nice big hunks like they put in those 3-pepper stir-fry things, so you can pick them out. (It’s other people who serve me this stuff.)

So they drive me crazy, plus I feel guilty eating them because I know they’re harvested out in California by underpaid Mexican migrant workers with no health care benefits or day care for their kids, toiling away in the hot sun just so I can have some color relief in my frozen TV dinner.

No, I haven’t seen almond-stuffed olives. I don’t mind the red stuff in the middle of the olives–it isn’t real pimiento anymore, you know. It’s some extruded food substance that is almost but not quite entirely unlike pimiento. Better living through science… :rolleyes:

Thanks for listening. :slight_smile:

EWWWWWWWWW!!

Wow, how did you manage that one? I once ate half a 7-11 and a small part of the laundromat next door. But two whole grocery stoes? Wow, you must be the man.

Oh, I am the man all right. Thanks!

Gamera had bet me stomping rights in Shikoku that I couldn’t let off a fireball while submerged. I won the bet, but swallowed a few thousand gallons of seawater doing it. This kind of worked my thirst up, so I went on a rampage to the Sak-N-Save. Couldn’t find the beverage aisle for the longest time, and ate everything from cake mixes to household cleaners before I got to sodas and ice teas. Then I ate the produce and spice aisles to kill the pet food aisle taste. By then I thought, Well, this is turning into a meal, so I polished off the rest of the store and moved on to Food-O-Rama. BTW, if you ever consider doing this, save the pharmacy for last. Mixing the Mylanta and Tums into your meal does NOT slow down the atomic heartburn.

I don’t mind red bell peppers in frozen foods, but then, I eat them frozen, so I don’t notice anything stringy. The roughage probably helps me digest cities better, so I don’t mind anyway.

Keep on stompin’,


don Jaime de los Resorbitos
Free the Water Tower 3!

Re: the OP:

I think we all know that the REAL food from Hell is Vegemite.

One taste of that nasty crap, and you’d be begging for a nice mouthful of pimientos to cleanse your palate.


Live a Lush Life
Da Chef

Take some nice fat ripe red peppers, what the hell, some yellow and orane ones too, just for the color contrast.

Cut em in quarters, pull out the veins and seeds, and shove em in under the broiler for about ten minutes.

Take them out with the skin all nice and black, put em in a big bowl, cover it up with a dishcloth and let them steam themselves.

After about a half hour, when they’re cool enough to touch, peel em.

Now put them out with some fresh Italian bread, some feta cheese, olives, and a nice abrasive red wine from Spain or someplace.


Uke

::screaming::
AAAAAAAHHH!! AAAAAAAHHH!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!
Please don’t, I’ll talk, I’ll tell you anything…
:smiley:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

You sick, whacked out, flaming dung heap! How DARE you disparage one of the finest tidbits in the world?! I am appalled! I use those tasty little treats in several dishes I make. I am so deeply offended, so deeply, irrevocably hurt by this I think I should start a thread in SUPPORT of pimentos!

Philistine!

Best!
Byz

Voted most sex obsessed. (Yeah, blow me smart ass!)

Now, was this sarcasm? Sarcasm can be very difficult to detect in the written word, you know.
:rolleyes:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

Oh, oh! Now you roll your eyes at me! I just don’t know…

BLAM!

Are you happy now?! My head just exploded!

Yeah, it was a joke. Mostly. I love those things!


Best!
Byz

Voted most sex obsessed. (Yeah, blow me smart ass!)

Actually, I did know you were joking. I’m not going to start a flame war on the subject of pimientos. Geez. :rolleyes: Unlike SOME people whose names I won’t mention, I rarely have trouble detecting sarcasm and irony in the written word.

File for future reference…
:slight_smile:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

No. The greatest threat to life as we know it is hidden raisins. I mean, j’ever get what you think is a chocolate chip cookie, or muffin, and you take a big bite, only to realize to your horror . . . Raisins!! Aaaaaaaaah!! When I was little I regarded this as an especially cruel form of adult sabotage.

But I don’t much like pimientos either. I was once at a relative’s house who offered a “cheese sandwich,” and then presented me with two pieces of bread holding PIMIENTO- laden cheese SPREAD. Talk about betrayal. I still can’t think about it without a shudder.


Ooh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is `How to increase your word power’. That thing is really, really… really… good. – Homer, ``Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington’’

What, pray tell, is Vegemite? I have wondered ever since first having heard of the “Vegemite Sandwich” in “The Land Down Under.”

Or is it so disgusting that it defies description?


Any similarities between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.

Vegemite is what’s left over from the beer brewing process – concentrated yeast residue. Supposed to be nutritious, but I don’t know. You’re supposed to eat it between two slices of buttered bread. I’m not supposed to eat it, by my own rules. The UK version is called Marmite.

Raisins are really cockroaches that fell into the batter and were baked into little slimy nuggets of GROSS. These roach corpses are so very GROSS that even other roaches won’t eat them.

Urp.