Pink sports equipment at Target

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’ve just made my weekly trip to Super Target, and behold, they have a new Magic Aisle (you know, those aisles that appear out of nowhere and are full of too-good-to-be-true merchandise, that continue to exist for a week or even a month, then disappear?) and it is full of PINK sports equipment.

Pink golfballs and tees, baseballs and mitts, tennis balls and rackets, soccer balls, volleyballs, basketballs… all PINK.

I freaked. I don’t play any sports, but I had to have some. I snagged a can each of baseballs and tennis balls.

Now that I’m home, I’m trying to figure out what to do with them. I can’t play catch with myself, and all of my friends are either too-cool-for-school or dour geriatrics who won’t play with me. I don’t really know any little girls I could give them to. I don’t even have a dog.

Maybe I should get a dog to match the pink tennis balls? A miniature dachshund, maybe, and I could knit little pink tennis sweaters for it, and then we could go outside and play with the pink tennis balls?

Can you give baseballs to dogs? Pink baseballs?

2

Sure you can - I do it every day: it’s called juggling.

Neither pink baseballs nor pink tennis balls are considered optimal for a beginner (beanbags generally get the nod) but why not give it a try?

3

My karate instructor (a very macho man) nearly flipped when I showed him the new pink sparring gear from his martial arts supplier’s catalog.

Personally I am not cool enough to wear pink gear but if you can rock that color and still kick some ass I say more power to you!

4

Nearly all of the items in this wave of pinkness are tied into an organization that funds breast cancer research. In most cases, a piece of the price goes to that group. You did a good thing without even knowing it.

5

So… does that mean it would be okay if I went back and bought a basketball and a soccer ball too? Because damn, they were cute.

I will try juggling. I am hopelessly–chronically–pathetically uncoordinated. Learning to do something like that would be great. I like that YouTube clip. “Don’t let the third ball control you. It’s just a BALL. THROW IT!”

6

The juggler is Jason Garfield, who nearly everyone would rank as among the top 5 in the world. If you ask him, he’s easily #1 - but that’s partly his stage persona (many would rank Anthony Gatto and Thomas Dietz ahead of Jason).

His how-to-juggle advice is good. The most important thing is to concentrate on throwing the balls to the exact spot you choose - makes the catches easy.

7

Use the tennis balls in your dryer when drying a lot of sheets and towels. It may make the load noisier, but it creates more airflow between the items so that they dry more evenly. One or two should be sufficient. What will you do with the third ball in the can?

8

A more adorable alternative to a spare set of car keys?

9

ACK! If that works, it’s way too easy. Now I have to find out if there’s a way to prevent that from happening. Good heavens!

10

And you can use them in the dryer to fluff down coats or comforters.

11

I’m not really sure if it works. I mean, for the sake of the video, they could just be pressing the keyless entry button. Although I do like to think that I could be a master car thief if only I weren’t so lazy and had tennis balls.

12

Spent time trying to throw just one ball back and forth, at a consistent height and with a consistent landing spot. Not quite happening yet, but I’m sure (or, I hope) it’s just about practice. The tennis balls bounce off of my head in a way that beanbags never could.

13

Sure, but why stop there? You can get pink radios, frypans, stand mixers, and can openers. Last year, on Mother’s Day, most major league baseball players used pink bats, all for the cause.