Chuck Norris.
Hmm… my sliding scale of weapon effectiveness ranks states:
bows = staffs < guns (wielded by antagonist-aligned character) < impractical bulky hand cannon < guns (wielded by protagonist-aligned character) < gunswords <<<< katanas <= claymores no human being should logically be able to hold.
It’s not actually that difficult to carry six handguns, provided you’re not especially concerned with “gun safety” or anything like that.
Never said it was difficult.
But come the fuck on.
Lit cannon fuses in beard? Check.
SIX GUNS STRAPPED TO YOUR BODY? Check.
Two swords? Check.
You, the fucking captain, right there in the middle of the combat? Check.
Screaming “Prepare to meet the devil!” when you gut the enemy captain? Check.
Come on guys. Piiiiirates!
Not even a great fiction writer could think this shit up!
Hey, I’ll agree it’s pretty hardcore. I didn’t say it wasn’t. 
Have you read George MacDonald Fraser’s The Pyrates? Rather a lot of that sort of thing goes on in the story. It’s also Very Silly. 
Damn right!
Nope, haven’t read it. And while I’m sure there’s awesome shit that pirates in all sorts of fiction do, the part that continues to amaze me is that the stuff I mentioned above actually happened. Somewhere out there, a captain was badass enough to strap guns all over his body, light fires in his beard and shout one-liners as he cut enemies into tiny pieces. And he had an awesome nickname!
I hate when people choose ninjas over pirates. Weaboos, the lot of you!
Colonel Thomas Blood was another interesting historical character (before Blackbeard’s time, but not by much) who did all sorts of shit you just couldn’t make up, and got away with it. Except for stealing the Crown Jewels. He almost got away with that. 
Probably ninja pirates or pirate ninjas would win.
Mmmm, Johnny Depp, or (a very old) Lee Van Cleef. Hard one, but I think I’ll go with Pirate, thanks.
Ninjas hide in shadows
Pirates get drunk and shoot at shadows
Pirates win
but if you are still in doubt just do the zombie test
Who would win?:
zombie pirates or zombies ninjas?
Pirates win
thread over!
It’s pretty obvious to me that pirates are better in every meaningful way and would win, hands-down. Even with the burden of Johnny Depp!
Pirates, clearly. They’re cooler, they’re meaner, and they’ve got guns. Did I mention they’re cooler?
That is… some cite you’ve got there.
This tells me all I need to know about ninjas.
Realistically speaking, Age of Sail pirates would win. From a “coolness” perspective I know that ninjas rank higher and thus they are winning this poll.
People also tend to have very unrealistic ideas about what ninjas actually were. They were assassins/spies primarily, and they were not trained as professional soldiers.
Something to keep in mind about pirates during the Age of Sail is that many of them were formerly members of the Royal navies (British/French/Spanish) and thus had received pretty good, professional-level training. Obviously most of their professional training prior to going into piracy was focused on seamanship, though.
If I had to take a merchant ship by force, so that I could capture it for later resale or for the plundering of its cargo, I’d want pirates. If I needed someone to sneak into a castle and assassinate a military leader inside, or I needed someone to covertly eavesdrop the enemy’s war planning then I would use a ninja.
While not worth a hill of beans, the show Deadliest Warrior has featured both pirates and ninjas. The show had a ninja losing to a Spartan hoplite and had a pirate defeating an armored knight (I agreed with both.) Spartan beat ninja with effective use of a large shield, pirate defeated knight with gun.
Well 70% of the Earth’s Surface is ocean so the pirates are going to control a lot more territory.
I went with pirates on this one because of the ranged weapon advantage of a blunderbuss vs a shuriken.
Also, because I can’t find an image of a ninja that looks sexier than this: http://images.epilogue.net/users/griffingirl/Epi_Leonie2.jpg
Are we talking about the Pittsburgh Pirates? 'Cuz if so, then I have to give ninjas the win.
Pirates get all the whores and booty, whereas ninjas sulk in the dark with their vows of celibacy. And RUM! They drank rum every day!
Pirates win on that alone.
Wilford Brimley