How can there be a pirate thread without this classic ditty.
Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the Devil hae done for the rest
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
The mate was fixed by the bosun’s pike
The bosun’s brained with a marlinspike
And cookey’s throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers of ten
And there they lay, all good men
Like break of day in a boozing ken
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
I have a fantasy about pirates which I won’t share here. It’s, um…yeah.
And how would the pirate painting from SpongeBob Squarepants rate? Or even Patchy from the same show? I hate Patchy. He is not part of my fantasy.
And now the obligatory pirate joke.
A priate with a peg leg goes to a local dance. He sees a comely lass sitting in the corner. She sees him (sort of) and approaches.
“Would you like to dance?” asks the comely lass.
“Would I? Would I?” asks the pirate, not believing his luck.
To which the lass retorts, hurt, “Peg leg, peg leg!”
That is all.
KCSuze… Pirate fantasy? Oh really… Tell me more…
I just realized I forgot to mention in my joke that the comely lass has a wooden eye. D’oh! :smack:
And ArrrMatey, I’d love to tell ye, but then I’d have to make ye walk the plank. TMI, you know.
And now, A recipe for Grog:
1.5 ounce Jamaican Rum
Squirt of honey
Hot Water
Cinnamon stick
Cloves
Lemon (optional)
Pour Jamaican rum into mug. Add honey, cloves and hot water. Stir with cinnamon stick. Add lemon to garnish if desired.
I expects each and every one a ya to have thee Grog at the next outing at ye local pub. Arrr.
I take it there aren’t any pirates in funkytown? :dubious:
[sub]10 years apprenticed to these scurvy dogs for pilot school and all I can do is kill people and drink. Arrrh.[/sub]
ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR THE MUSICAL BATTLE AT SEA!
Bumper Sticker!
Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
Drinkin’ and killin’ and drinkin’ some more
Out on the briny sea
Shiver Me Timbers, matey, I be wantin’ to take the family out to see Pirates of the Caribbean when it hits the waves, but I ain’t sure if I can.
I hear it’s rated Arrrrrrr.
Not a pirate song persay, but I feel it’s appropriate:
Drink and drink and drink and drink and fight
Drink and drink and drink and drink and fight
And if I see a pretty girl, I’ll sleep with her tonight
Oh, I’ll drink and drink and drink and drink and FIGHT!
Which state is a pirate favorite?
Arrrrrkansas!
What city do they like best?
Arrrrrkadelphia!
Anybody know the “Pirate Accountant” song from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life?
It’s fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wide accountancy,
To find, explore the funds offshore
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy.
It can be manly in insurance.
We’ll up your premium semi-annually.
It’s all tax-deductible.
We’re fairly incorruptible.
We’re sailing on the wide accountancy!
Arrr! Shiver me timbers and balance me spreadsheets!
Wrote this the other day for me nationstates buddies:
Arrrr!! So we were checking the tide this morning and THIS bottle came in. It’s confusing us greatly:
Ar? We’re scratching our heads at this, that’s fer sure. So, does she want us to do anything? Who is this woman? Does she have gold? She says she does. We’re not sure. I think she wants our account number. Gee, we don’t have an account. What’s an account? I ain’t got one. Shorttooth here ain’t got one. :Shrug: We got chests though. Chests of treasure, that we dig… into the ground. They’re secure that way. Then you makes yourself a map of it, and no one’s gonna know about it. Not even you, if you lose your map. Pretty secure, aye? Er, I mean, arrr!! Our treasure is secured by me muskets and me fine pistols! Failing that, my sword’ll skewer any one of you thievin, greedy DOGS trying to steal my gold!
This woman claims she has a son, does she want to sell him? How much is she planning to sell him for? He’s apparently worth saving, so maybe that means he’ll fetch a good price? Is this boy opposed to working outdors, like in the rum, sugarcane, and herb fields or maybe would he enjoy something indoorsy, like the galleys? A whole 5% of that 20, that’s errr ah, errrr, arrr, ummmm, 5? Yeah, I’ll go with that, just for sayings. 5 out of 20 is a lot for a transfer fee. Gee, she could’ve saved money and time if she just let us take it from her; maybe kill her and take her son, without paying for him, off in slavery, in some sort of medicinal herb plantation, on and island… Sheesh, lady.
She said this gold is in Spain. That means, me hearties, golden Spanish dubloons! And this is a bear market, you know. Gold’s the smart thing to invest in nowadays. By investing in gold and jewels, we’ve been ahead of the curve. Not bad, aye? Better than that MUTUAL FUNDS crap, arrr haw yar yar yar yar yar!
The gold bees in Spain, then. TO SPAIN!!
-Adam Baldridge
Captain, Anarchic Debauchery
Quasi-executive head, Free Land of New Smyrnia
It’s a silly name generator, but
Well, there was that McDonald’s pirate guy hanging around, but he was friends with The Hamburglar, so he had to go.
I’ll have you know the Queen of Phazania happened to like it.
So who here is Johnny Depp, and who’s Orlando Bloom?
KCSuze, i’m right there with you as far as the pirates fantasies go. The promo shots for Pirates of the Carribean? Not helping this one bit.
AARRRRRRrrr!