Break out the black flag and run out the guns, mates, and signal yon barkie to heave to, afore we blows her out of the water! Pieces of eight and rum for all! Arrrrr!
Aye! Prepare for boardin’ ye scurvy dogs!*
*That be message boardin’, 'o course!
Arrr, lad! Hie thee and roust Paulberserker.
Arr, Talk Like a Pirate Day again already? Gar, where’s me bottle o’ rum?
[Ray Stevens]
“I don’t like it and I won’t do it. I’m an ‘Artiste’.”
[/Ray Stevens]
What? All I want to do is sing and dance and wear my bright shiny pants.
Yarrrrrrrr…shiver the…poopdeck? No wait. That sounds dirty. Let me start over.
Maybe a little bit of rum will help me get into the swing of it. Scuse me while I get my drunk…I mean “pirate spirit” on.
HARRRRR!!! Ye scurvy dogs! Pass me me bottle o’rum or I’ll keelhaul the lot of ye! Hoist that sail! Poop that deck! HARRR!!! On second thought don’t ye be a poopin’ on me deck. 
Arrr, me hearties! Run up the Jolly Roger, for we’re asea on the Spanish Main looken’ for treasure! An’ not all treasure be gold an’ silver, maties.
And really bad eggs…
Avast! I hosted me annual Pirate Poker Paarrrty last night, an’ the rum flowed freely! I could barely bestir meself to come above decks this morning.
Avast, me hearties! Pass the rum and the wenches, and be ye quick about it!
I’ve been waitin’ for this day for a whole year! I missed it last September so I made three appointments on me calendar. One for Friday t’ email me buckos not t’ forget, one for Sunday night t’ send t’ second reminder and one for this mornin’ t’ remind me when I got t’ work. me first meetin’ be a eight o’clock, I plan t’ talk pirate through t’ whole meetin’. I can’t wait t’ order lunch in t’ cafeteria “Give me a slab o’ beef and a tankard o’ ale.” Arrr!
The Pirate’s ABC
A is for ahoy, matey
B is for belike
C is for cutlass
D is for dead man’s chest
E is for England, no more our home
F is for frigate, a pirate’s vessel
G is for grog, the pirate’s tipple
H is for haul, ye lubbers
I is for Isla de los muertes, a pirate’s lair
J is for Jolly Roger
K is for keelhaul
L is for lily livered, a pirate’s prey
M is for matey
N is for nautical
O is for overboard
P is for Pirate, hawk of the sea
Q is for Queen of the sea, Anne Bonney
R is for Redbeard, a pirate scourge. Arrrr!
S is for swabees, that’s pirates to you
T is for treasure, a pirate’s booty
U is for Unlucky, any ship we encounter
V is for Vengeance, the pirate’s creed
W is for Westerly, may all your winds be so
X is for marks the spot. Dead men tell no lies
Y is Yo ho! a pirate’s chant
Z is for Zephyr, a pirate’s best friend
Yarr! I be happy to report to ye scurvy dogs that NC State’s “Pirate Captain” (he be our student body president, mateys) reported to class in full pirate attire!
Scurvy dogs! Ye steered this thread under false colours! Aye, and I looked for ‘pirate’ afore I posted me own affidavy.
Arrr, but anyway. Me shipmate’ll be sore afeared when I board his ship today, when I starts in with the pirate lingo. Har har har! I’ve even gots me talkin’ parrot! ‘Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!’ says he. (Course ye be havin’ t’ say it t’ him first. Smarrrt as paint he ain’t!)
The Pirate Alphabet
A: A beer
B: Beer
C: What we sails on
D: Der beer. (German beer)
E: 'E needs a beer!
F: Eff I only had a beer…
G: Gee, I wish I had a beer.
H: Aitch an’ ev’ry one of you needs a beer.
I: I need a beer.
J: The guy what serves me beer.
K: Jay’s wife.
L: Oops, sorry, ladies present
M: 'Em over there, they needs a beer!
N: and 'en needs a beer, too.
O: Oh, I wish I had a beer.
P: (self explanat’ry.)
Q: A French word.
R: A pirate’s favourite word.
S: What you fall on when you’ve had enough beer
T: Why we beat the english.
U: You! You need a beer.
V: Ve need a beer!
W: You and you need a beer!
X: Jay’s former wife
Y: Why, I think I’ll have a beer.
Z: Ze beer. French beer.
Talk like a pirate? Dress like a pirate!
Arrr, if only the wench hadna left me. This were to have been me weddin’ uniform! 
and really bad eggs…
Drink up, me 'earties! Yo ho!
aye, maties–
if you be askin’ me where are my buccaneers:–
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
… they’re underneath my buccin’ hat
(Sorry, I won’t do it again… Really… I promise. )