Avast, ye Doper Dogs! Twas a year ago ye threatened to have me walk the plank for not givin’ goodly notice of TLAPD! And so I swore to never befall such a curse again-and wrote it on the melamine board of me cabin, next to me other important jobs! 10 days notice I give ya! Click the link, ya scalawags and get a Pirate name! Who has the rum? :eyepatch smiley:
Oh my ever-lovin’ gawd. How in the world did I miss this the first time? I can’t wait!
Signed,
Old name: Ruby
We’ll now call ye:
Cap’n Jasmine Buttwipe
Bwwwaaaaahaaaaaahaaaaahaaaa!
Dirty John Bonney at yer service.
What’s that ye say? Me wooden leg? ‘twas a cannonball took me natural leg straight to Davy Jones’ locker.
The hook where me hand should be? 'twas lost in a swordfight many years ago. Aye, but the other guy, he weren’t so lucky.
The patch on me eye? Well, a little bird shat it in it. Aye, a bird. Ye must ken, I’d only had me hook for a couple days at that point.
Yarrrrrrrrr
I be Legless Bart Dagger.
Yar.
Where’s me rum?
Ah, there it be.
ar.
YARHAHAHhahah
Ye be a rookie.
Bwayar.
Ninjas are so much cooler than pirates.
Just sayin’.
Aye, but it be a fantastic story. So fantastic, indeed, that Hollywood be releasing a movie about it in the very near future. Be warned, me hearties, that it’s not for your children–indeed, it be so violent that it be rated ARRRR.
Dirty Anne Rackham reportin’ fer duty, Cap’n!
(I also go by “Rosamaria” on Puzzle Pirates, which is probably where I’ll be spending the 19th.)
Noticed ya been admirin’ me carved teeth, deary. Can make ya some too to fill in the gaps if ya like. Twopence each for plain. Double for the usual sailing or pirates’ ware. Triple for dancin’ cats. But 'twill give ye some bite.
Mad Maudie
Ladies Salon and Fish Cleaning
Bloody Bess Bonney checking in, I mean, avast me hearties!
Pass the grog, it’s a pirate’s life for me! ARRRR!
We have a staff meeting on the 19th, and Dirty Jenny Cash might just have to mention TLAPD at the end of it. In pirate speak, of course. 
Arrrgh. My handkerchief will wipe up your blood.
Yar. No ninja will ever play guitar as totally sweet as I can. That be Real Ultimate Power.
I think I am going to drink an entire fifth of rum.
Waitaminnit, it’s a Monday? (Groan.) Ok, maybe just half a fifth.
Arr, well we won’t be spinning our wrenches, it bein’ monday and all. Have to find us some wenches to spin instead!
“Arr, be ye Whitworth wenches, perhaps?”
So you got that job as a janitor, after all.
Now, where did I put that rubber chicken with the pulley in the middle…?
We be plannin’ to be pirate kings for Halloween this year, aye. The sewin’ is killing me.
Don’t be sewin’ no steerin’ wheels in the front of yer pants if ye be male-they’ll drive ye nuts! ARR!
Sputterin’ hot buttered rum through me nose…
Mad Maudie
Iron Davy Flint presen’ an’ correct.
:: off to put a sharp on me cutlass ::
Yarr! I be **Bloody Anne Kidd **! Back off unless ye want a taste o’ me dagger 'tween yer ribs.