Survivor: Pripyat
(Heh. Yeah, like I wouldn’t watch this one.)
Sue Spartan: Male Nurse.
Nerd Fight!- Random SciFi/Fantasy Con Costume Contest entrants battle it out in the Octagon…
(in homage to Fran Lebowitz)
*Who Wants to Be an Empress Dowager? * Contestants compete to manage the best kitchen staff, hold embassy parties, and intimidate with a mere withering gaze.
Survivor: East New York
Hunger Island
Twenty people who have tried to fight obesity and failed will be brought to a small unpopulated island. It’ll have a hotel on it with all the comforts of home except… the only thing to eat on the island would be a three-month supply of slimfast meal replacement shakes and bars. However, these twenty souls will be provided with all the implements necessary to grow their own crops and raise chickens and cows. All by themselves.
There are no teams, and no challenges other than reaching their ideal healthy weight. Everyone who manages to do so will split a prize sponsered by slimfast. If anyone resorts to cannibalizing people who die of heart attacks while farming, the whole lot of them forfit the prize money.
The pilot episode will focus on their sob stories about why conventional diets fail them.
Why does the word “Tara-dise” keep coming to mind when I read this?
That doesn’t sound like a bad idea for a show at all. I’ve seen variations on the theme already, this is just combining them.
I’d watch it.
I would watch this.
Teacher’s Pet: After having a curse placed on him by a voodoo priestess, an elementary school teacher is now irresistably attractive to prepubescent girls. Each episode revolves around his search for a way to remove the curse while fending off age-inappropriate flirting and advances from his female students. The theme song is “Thank Heaven for Little Girls”.
**CANCER GONE WILD! The untold story of DR. TOWNHOUSE and his patients. ** This down-to-earth reality TV show is all about the gory reality of life in the oncology ward. Follow Dr. Doom as he announces the inevitable to his terminally ill patients - Not only does he tell them they’re gonna die, but he badgers them, too! And you thought Dr. Gregory House was funny! This man’s hilarious, and our cameras catch him live! Watch as his malpractice suit unfolds. Katie Couric hosts and hounds victims to make them weep. Thursday nights on FOX.
American Midol: Talk show. Each week, a different group of women discuss their experiences with PMS.
Celebrity Slot Machine Showdown: Inspired by “Celebrity Poker Showdown,” this game show features celebrities trying to win big on slot machines. Finally, those celebrities who lack the skill to play poker will have their chance at gambling for the charity of their choice. Host: Paris Hilton.
The Wrong Side of the Tracks: Insults fly and so does granola as the extremely right-wing Track family leaves its small conservative town for the big (and liberal) city of San Francisco, where it moves in next to a familiy of vegetarian Wiccans. No redeeming qualities or moral lessons in this show, just plenty of scenes of neighbors name-calling, shouting, and throwing objects at each other.
These Important Messages: An hour-long interview show devoted to nothing but current commercials. Hosted by the Geico Caveman, the creative types behind current TV ads are grilled as to where they got their ideas and asked to justify their reasoning as to why they think their approach will work. Don’t miss the special “phone in” feature where consumers participate too.
Hmm…you know, that last one might actually be good, if it was done right.
Too bad someone beat you to it.
Slim and Nun: An anorexic and an ex-convent trainee share a squad car in Buffalo, fighting crime and avoiding fatty snacks. Many doughnut and weather jokes.
Dr. Jackmannii, Country Pathologist: A dedicated laboratory professional solves real-life Pap smear mysteries. Sponsored by Excedrin and Pepto-Bismol.
This is code to check a soft-core weekly series past the censors, right? Request a ten o’clock spot on cable and you’ll probably make it.
Ah yes, Milady, but at no point in that movie did hijinks ensue…
Matt Bastardson. Goes around with a cane braining people who of are ligitimant concept. His wife, Mrs. Matt Bitcherson (nee) stalks about complaining about non-heterosexuals.
Errit Wipe. Uses toilet paper by rolls and rolls while “cleaning up” the town of filthy thugs. The residue paper, of course, goes into Wipe’s private collection called " Heavenly Shades of Brown"
"The Long Ranger" speaks for itself. Heh. 
Monkey tennis?
Illigement conception
The big 5 min. got me.