(((((Avabeth)))))
Since there is a definite trigger, it’s probably not a med imbalance. While meds are no panacea, they kept things at least somewhat even (when my doc tried to wean me off Paxil in case I was bipolar and it was aggravating that condition, all hell broke loose).
Libertarian, that’s all well and good, but in the throes of depression, it can be pretty freaking hard to motivate yourself to do anything, even something that gives you relief or satisfaction.
I take Serzone. It’s not widely prescribed anymore, but it works well and you get to keep your sex life.
Please don’t read this next bit if St. John’s Wort has been effective for you. But in the spirit of giving Avabeth as much accurate information as possible:
[spoiler]I debated whether to post this link[/color] because “the placebo effect” is a very real thing.
But I decided to, finally, because I, for one, really benefit from the medication I take for depression, and can really feel the difference when my dosage is lowered or skipped for even just a few days.
So I would urge Avabeth to speak to a doctor first, before trying even such OTC remedies as St. John’s Wort.[/spoiler]
Ava, have you considered going to a therapist?
A good cognitive-behavioral therapist might be able to help you with that cycle of frustration.
Yes… Give in to your anger. Strike your depression down, and your journey towards the Dark Side will be complete!
smiling bandit, if that was supposed to make me laugh, it did. Thanks.
The13thUnicorn, from what I understand, it works well for some and not so well for others. I think I fell into the not-so-well category. Just do what’s best for you.
pepperlandgirl, that’s exactly how I feel. I spent the day bursting into tears off and on at work, then running to the bathroom to sob for some inexplicable reason. I hope you’re feeling better soon.
Apos, I really am trying in that regard. I just spent a lovely evening with my mom, buying my fiance’s wedding ring and picking out my own wedding ring, and having dinner, and I thought I was feeling better, but then I came back home and it came right back. I’m trying to be more positive, though.
Libertarian, that’s definitely an idea. I did volunteer when I lived in NYC and I miss it. But I don’t feel like I’ll be good for anyone else right now when I’m not any good for myself. shrug. Maybe that will change soon.
DogMom, I know exactly what you’re getting at, and it makes perfect sense. I know sugar is a bad thing for me, yet I still eat it. However, it’s never caused a low quite THIS bad. So I know part of it is my diet and I need to change that. Maybe it will help.
Angel Heart, while this particular instance has a trigger, most times, there’s not one. So I think it’s sort of half and half. I do know that the meds regulate my depression whether there’s a trigger or not, and I’m beginning to think that’s what I need now.
Indygrrl, that’s what my fiance is worried about - he wants me to be better and will do anything to help me be better, but he’s worried that I’ll go on something that was as bad as the Paxil and it will kill our sex life. Supposedly, Zoloft doesn’t have the hideous side effects of Paxil, so we’ll see.
TVAA, therapy is on the short list. While my money problems are bothering me, I do not want to go into my marriage without getting this depression somewhat under control. So although I can’t really afford it, I’m going to check into therapists next week.
lissener, I appreciate the info.
thanks so much for the responses. I’m trying to slowly work through this and it’s hard. It’s hard because I haven’t been this bad in months and I just forgot how bad it feels. I took a Xanax to calm my nerves today and so that I could stop crying, and a fleeting thought ran through my head about taking a few more. I realized at that point, I am NOT going to let this go on for much longer without seeking my doctor’s help. The last time I had a severe low that started like this, I nearly didn’t come out of it. That’s not going to happen again. (And for those who are reading too much into that sentence, I promise, i am not suicidal - the thought of the pills was just a ‘what if’ and I didn’t take it seriously, nor would I let it go any further if I did. Several folks from this board have my phone number, and I have theirs, and I would not hesitate to use them if necessary.).
Thanks again. I’m hoping that simply relaxing for the next two days will help me to come out of this. If not, my doctor will be getting a phone call first thing Monday morning.
Ava