Pitting the Republican Party of Texas

I hardly know where to start with this. I picked up a link to a to the Republican Party of Texas political platform (PDF). Reading it I was so bowled over I thought surely someone must have made a really good fake. Nope, as it turns out you can pick this right off their own site.

As I said I hardly know where to start…there is so much. I guess I will start with their principles:

Not 100% awful but close.

A few more choice bits (admittedly I am sort of randomly picking…there is so much to choose from):

And my personal favorite:

I know not everyone in Texas is in agreement with this but seeing this I am inclined to let Texas secede (or force them to if necessary) and go their own way.

There’s lots of space in the rest of the country for the good folks in Texas. The rest can shove off.

Good riddance.

So they’re opposed to the death penalty, now?

Sounds like the usual. They put one of these things out every year, and it’s always the same crap.

That is of course unless yer queer.

And I don’t even want to get into the whole “God” part. As I might be inclined to throw my moniter accross the room.

I read an article once (Sorry can’t remember where) about the similarities of Republican doctrines and the dontrines of extreme Muslims. After reading that article I wondered why republicans don’t hail extreme Muslims as the greatest thing ever.

Also, I don’t think ‘scientific theory’ means what you think it means repubs.

Oh, they’ve been doing this for years and years, we of the DFH community, but most especially we recovering Texans, look forward with gleeful anticipation. Its not any more nuts than it usually is. But, truth be known, I doubt if there’s one Republican in ten in Texas who knows or cares what the platform is, or what is in it. So far as I recall, the “gold standard” bit has been in there since Nixon.

Heh, yea. I guessed what this would be about before I opened the thread.

So, in other words: We support letting you continue to believe whatever you want to believe and not actually teaching your kids anything. Great plan! I’m sure that’ll rocket us to the top!

Self-sufficiency is an important doctrine I can get behind. How, exactly, are the Republican party combating the growing tide of wage labour in the state? are they requisitioning company property in order that Texan families can practice subsistence farming?

I’m pretty sure the Iowa GOP platform that came out a month or so ago (maybe, I don’t remember) was pretty much the same. Which of course is not a shock, they are probably all cribbing from the same original anyway.

“Vote Republican: we’ll beat your children for you.”

Yeah, I like it.

Isn’t this pretty much the standard American Republican view? Not trying to be snarky, but does this conflict the nation GOP platforms?

This part must come as a shock to the oil companies and farmers.

As an Iowan, I do find it strangly comforting that our Republicans are just normal, mainstream crazy conservatives and not some extreme outlier of Conservative Crazy.

I still won’t vote for them though.

Some parts of it are a bit out there to be on the national platform - the stuff about corporal punishment, for example. And I’m not sure if the education bullshit has made it into the national GOP platform, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it has. I’m also not sure that the national platform defines life at fertilization - typically implantation is the less extreme pro-life view, but that has been morphing lately.

I was going to say that the part about repealing the Capital Gains tax was too out there for the national party but I guess Mitt saw an opportunity too good to pass up and seems to have grabbed on to that one too.

So apart from #2 and #11 on the list - the superstition based BS - what exactly is so bad about all the other things? Is it the fact that they will cut out federal interference with local education? Or is it just the fact that Republicans are proposing them?

Well, #6 is some gay-bashing bullshit, for starters.

And #9 is also bullshit when one considers the reality of GOP support for subsidies for oil, corn, and defense industry.

And the idea that the “death tax” is immoral is a bit shocking in the same list that lauds the intent of the framers.

Well, #6 is pretty full of superstition based BS too. There is no reason, except slavish deference to scriptural prohibitions, to restrict civil marriage between two consenting adults to “a natural man and a natural woman”.

The rest of the so-called “principles” are mostly just eye-rolling boilerplate whose comedic or RO value depends less on their literal content than on their mismatch with actual Texas Republican policies (e.g., as Maus Magill noted, pretending to reject the concept of “subsidies” when Republican industrialists lobby as hard as they can for them).

Tough competition between Texas and Iowa:

This list is also a bit random, something I posted to the SRIotDthread. There are other posts about the platform in there if you want to do a more nuanced comparison, but once you reach a level of depravity it’s all pretty much the same.