I know what you’re thinking: “He’s pitting someone because he’s fit! What an asshole!” Well, not exactly.
I’ve seen this new guy at the gym recently. He’s quite fit and fabulously in shape. But he comes in at least three times a day and busts his ass, even though he’s doing everything right. And I mean everything. His dumbell presses are almost perfect, he goes down way too fast on squats, and when he does bicep curls his biceps do all the work.
But at least he’s trying, right? I commend him for that.
What I have a problem with is him bringing in his girlfriend (I assume) and “training” her. He’s knows precisely what he’s doing, she’s in fantastic shape, and he’s teaching someone else. Ever seen an obviously fit girl trying to do hyperextensions while holding a 405 pound plate? Hell, I don’t even use any weight on that exercise, and I’ve been training for well over a day now. He’s got her doing squats with more weight than I can bench press, running on the treadmill so fast at the highest of an inclines, and doing serratus crunches (for those who don’t know, the serratus is a tiny muscle that nobody but bodybuilders who compete professionally should bother training).
As a former member of the gym and someone who knows more than the average person about lifting pints and training pigeons, I haven’t worked out in forever, I went up to him one day when he was there by himself (didn’t think it prudent to check him out in front of his woman). I mentioned my concerns and recommended a friend of mine who still does personal massage at a reasonable price. His response? “Mind your own fucking business, prick.”
So fuck you, you beautiful asshole. Are you trying to seduce her? She’s going to have an orgasmic sexual experience and it’s going to be all your fault. At this point, I can only hope that you get me before she does or that she dumps your sexy ass. Or at least leave the gym as you are making me look like a wimp.