Pitting this one fit guy at my gym

The BBQ Pit
1

I know what you’re thinking: “He’s pitting someone because he’s fit! What an asshole!” Well, not exactly.

I’ve seen this new guy at the gym recently. He’s quite fit and fabulously in shape. But he comes in at least three times a day and busts his ass, even though he’s doing everything right. And I mean everything. His dumbell presses are almost perfect, he goes down way too fast on squats, and when he does bicep curls his biceps do all the work.

But at least he’s trying, right? I commend him for that.

What I have a problem with is him bringing in his girlfriend (I assume) and “training” her. He’s knows precisely what he’s doing, she’s in fantastic shape, and he’s teaching someone else. Ever seen an obviously fit girl trying to do hyperextensions while holding a 405 pound plate? Hell, I don’t even use any weight on that exercise, and I’ve been training for well over a day now. He’s got her doing squats with more weight than I can bench press, running on the treadmill so fast at the highest of an inclines, and doing serratus crunches (for those who don’t know, the serratus is a tiny muscle that nobody but bodybuilders who compete professionally should bother training).

As a former member of the gym and someone who knows more than the average person about lifting pints and training pigeons, I haven’t worked out in forever, I went up to him one day when he was there by himself (didn’t think it prudent to check him out in front of his woman). I mentioned my concerns and recommended a friend of mine who still does personal massage at a reasonable price. His response? “Mind your own fucking business, prick.”

So fuck you, you beautiful asshole. Are you trying to seduce her? She’s going to have an orgasmic sexual experience and it’s going to be all your fault. At this point, I can only hope that you get me before she does or that she dumps your sexy ass. Or at least leave the gym as you are making me look like a wimp.

:stuck_out_tongue:

2

At this point you may want to talk to the girlfriend herself. If you don’t want her orgasms on your conscience, that is. But your approach needs to be tactful and non-judgemental. “You’re doing it wrong” is not as good as “Can I show you a way to do that so that you get more benefit from it?”

If that doesn’t work, then masturbate like a motherfucker. You’re beyond help.

3

I’m just wondering what they’re saying on TheOtherSideOfTheStory.com.

Stranger

4

I hadn’t seen the other thread when I read this and I was all “…WTF?”

5

Wow, does this count as my first official pitting?

6

I’m pretty sure it says in one of the stickies that parody threads need a link to the original.

7

Thar it is :stuck_out_tongue:

8

Look! Shiny linky! No, not there! Here!

9

I’m not really pitting you, just your OP was a great basis for me to write a Pit against excessively fit people at gyms who make the rest of us look bad. But since you sound like a fit person who goes to gyms often, you may take this as your first pitting if you like :wink: you phlegm coughing rhino-sneezer.

10

Damn. For a minute I thought I’d finally done something worthy of being pitted. Sigh…guess I’ll just go back to being invisible. :wink:

11

No, that’s a different thread.

12

As :smiley: are :smiley: these